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Has anyone moved their partner and children to another part of the uk?

(43 Posts)
CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 13:17:26

Just wanted to get some advice, I really feel like I want to move my family to another part of the uk as I feel there is more there and can provide a better life for my children, Has anyone had experience of this? We will be moving to a place where we have no family there, I dont lean on my family for any support child care wise where we live currently so dont think there will be much of an issue there. But will obviously not see them very much anymore.
My sister thinks im mad, But I just feel as though I have outgrown my hometown and want a different upbringing for my kids.
Has anyone left their home town? What was your experience? Did u get home sick?

adriennewillfly Sat 25-Feb-17 13:20:38

Not much advice from me, but good luck and really hope it works out for you. I'm considering moving out of London for a better quality of life, but really not sure where and when to do it.

Gowgirl Sat 25-Feb-17 13:23:37

Yep, rural south coast to central(ish) London, dsis still thinks its terrible, dh, dcs and I have never been happier.

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 13:27:26

Thanks, Im hoping to put the house on the market in may, We have found an area we like and read up lots on it, and visiting in may. I feel its better where we currently live and there seems so much more to do I just wonder if I will get homesick? Right now I cant see it happening but I suppose I just dont know, Just wanted to see what other peoples experiences were.
Good luck with where ever you find!

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 13:32:03

Oh really gowgirl, My children are really up for it and so is husband so Im hoping they all settle in well. What was it like moving them schools?

Fifthattemptatusername Sat 25-Feb-17 13:33:38

We did it all the time when my exh was in the raf. We always settled in each new area fairly quickly. In fact now I struggle to stay in one place for any length of time and suffer from a touch of wanderlust 😊

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 13:41:18

Haha really fifthattempt, I think I have realised I dont feel like I want to live the rest of my life here, I'd rather move us all now to somewhere else so I have the kids all around me, I couldnt move away from them when I am older as I always want them to be able to pop by ( I know it doesnt stop them moving away when they are older, just more of a chance I will be around them if I move away to our chosen destination now)

NoBetterName Sat 25-Feb-17 13:43:48

My df was in the army and we moved every 2/3 years all the time I was growing up. Consequently I don't have a "home town". Moving is no big deal, really it's just not. Even as an adult I've lived in 3 different countries and 12 different cities.

Maybe it's a bigger issue if you've always lived in one area though.

Brytie Sat 25-Feb-17 13:59:18

I think it is easier if you move somewhere where there are typically many others who are incomers. It's difficult to move to sn area where most of the people you meet have always lived there and they have all their family and lifelong friends around. Moving can be really positive and broadens your children's horizons.

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 14:34:28

Yes I can see what you mean nobettername, Yes Brytie I have done lots of research on that as I wouldnt want to move to a place where we wouldnt be accepted. And yes I agree with it broadening their horizons we all want to be close to the countryside and also looking at being within easy reach of lots of things for the kids to do and think our destination seems to fit the bill.
I really cant wait, My mum wasnt very happy about it and one of my siblings thought I was bonkers but I suppose people just think differently.

Gowgirl Sat 25-Feb-17 15:16:27

Schools are much better here, and I applied in year, we also got eldest dc straight into cubs and he made good friends quickly. It was a bit more difficult as a sahp but I made the effort with toddler groups etc and have a nice group of friends now.
Tbf I have always wanted to move back up to town and although I miss having my mum and nan round the corner its hardly the other side of the world, dsis still not happy but theme the breaks....

GCHQMonitoring Sat 25-Feb-17 15:32:05

I have a similar back ground to no better, even when we settled down, we did so in an area that neither of us had any attachment to. The place looked nice, we could afford to buy, it was half way betweeen our families and DH could commute.

It sounds as though there are lots of positives to moving. What are the benefits to staying?

A degree of homesickness is probably usual, especially if youve always lived in the same area. You're giving up a familiar environment for an unfamiliar one, but it doesn't take long for the unfamiliar to become familiar, decreasing any feelings of homesickness. One of my favourite parts of moving is going out to find new walks/day trips or experiences with the kids.

Missing family is also normal, but there's few locations within the UK, that you can't reach with a few hours travel. It just means you plan your visits, rather than popping in for a 5 minute chat x times a week/month.

The issues you've raised arent insurmountable barriers. So, your parents and sister think you're mad, why? Is it jealousy, to do with their insecurity, or reasons why they wouldnt want to move?

Gowgirl Sat 25-Feb-17 15:46:06

Oh and my mum has plans to move closer to us in the future as she visits a lot and now feels the small town she lives in I very claustrophobic, dsis will probably blow a gasket when she doesgrin

FourKidsNotCrazyYet Sat 25-Feb-17 16:08:23

Yes we've moved all our married life (23 years and with our three eldest children as my husband was in the army). When he got out we moved from where we had 'settled' and only an hours drive from my family to over 400 miles away. I absolutely love where we live and although I don't think we will move again I wouldn't discount it. I stayed in the same place all of my life and thought it would be detrimental to my children but actually it has helped their confidence and their views of the world not so blinkered and they are very confident children who (they eldest two mainly) talk about moving about with great affection and wonderful memories. Good luck.

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:10:10

Yes schools are better where we are going too gowgirl, I plan on getting the kids in some outside school activities as son already does cubs with school friends which really has helped his friendships, I am a sahp as well so I already see im going to have to put myself out there and really try in regards to making new friendships with toddler groups. Im hoping I wont find that too hard, I dont want to be lonely whilst husbands at work.

Gchq, I cant really see many benefits to staying where we are, property is so expensive and to buy anything better/bigger is too much money, Its not as though we live anywhere fancy either, I never go into town as its a dive and I only really go along the seafront a few times in the summer, If we go out on days out we nearly always travel far out of the area.
We are planning on moving around 4 and a half hours away from where we live currently, My mum wasnt happy because of the distance not necessarily because she will miss me as we arent that close, but because as she said "I was taking her grandchildren away" I told her we would come to visit when we could and she could visit us, she sees the kids twice a month at the most so I dont think that it will impact her life that greatly, Since then I have shown here where we are looking to move to and she said she can see why, Although has moaned to my younger sister about it.
My elder sister is the one that was laughing at me asking why and that she thought it was stupid/mad but she is very different to me she is more reliant on my mum and doesnt really seem to like change, We dont really have much of a relationship really so I did think it was weird she was venting at me so much.
My littlest sister is just a bit sad about it as we do have a relationship as she will miss me, My brother understands.

I cant wait to explore new areas! I am gearing myself up for it being hardwork selling the house and moving all our stuff and settling in and sorting out the schools, Im trying to find the negative points so there arent many surprises when we leave here. Exploring all avenues.
Im so excited about it all im trying to keep a lid on it 😂 the kids are so up for it too which is lovely.

MollyHuaCha Sat 25-Feb-17 16:12:24

Research your house prices, whether buying or renting, to see what you'll get for your money. Also, spend some time there before you commit. Years ago I moved from the south to the midlands. I was really unhappy as so many people made fun of my so called posh accent.

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:13:38

Haha gowgirl, fourkids, thats nice that they got such a positive experience from it.

Gowgirl Sat 25-Feb-17 16:17:48

The trick with toddler groups is to go every week you can, that's when you move beyond chit chat, and kids are very resilient, where are you looking to move too (be gauge if you need to be) there may be mnetters in the area to help!

Gowgirl Sat 25-Feb-17 16:19:06

Vague evengrin

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:19:06

Yes ive researched the house prices molly, researched schools, whats near by us to do, put up and read lots of posts about the area I am looking at, It is just the visit we have to do to have a good look around, I couldnt move without seeing and getting a feel for the place it has to feel "right" Thats not nice people made fun of your accent, Did it make you move back?

Crumbs1 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:19:07

We've moved several times for husband's work. South to Wiltshire to East Anglia to different part of South. It meant higher salary at each move and allowed us to climb the pay scales to end up very comfortable. That would not have been possible if we hadn't taken the risk and moved around.
It was sometimes hard - moving to Suffolk felt like falling off the edge of the world. I knew nobody, had never seen the house or town we were moving to and just had to trust my husband. I had a four year old, two year old and new baby. I had to force myself out to meet people and develop a new life, new friends, a new community. First twelve months were hardest but I grew to love the place and was sad when we left. We have many good friends from their still and the children have very happy memories.

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:20:16

Shrewsbury/telford area gowgirl,

lia66 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:20:24

We relocated in 2012 due to dh business. We moved our dc who were 17, 14, 9, 7, 5, and 1 year old. We moved from the South to West Mids/Staffs

The 17 yr old worked for dh. The 14 year old struggled if I'm honest. Year 10 is a hard year to move and he went from an all boys grammar to a regular secondary. He joined a football team as he'd played since he was 6 at league level but never really gelled with the team and so gave it up after 6 months. It was hard.

Younger kids settled in easily.

Me. I'd move back in a heart beat but now my older kids have jobs, partners, eldest is going to buy a house next year so I'll never go back.

I was 45 when we moved. I found it hard to make friends, if you don't get into school at play school level or reception with the parents then it's too late IMO. I'm a very open, friendly person but 5 years later I still don't have a close friendship group like I had in the South, more, just people I know. If you are younger then it'll probably be easier.

lia66 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:21:21

In other areas, we moved from a 4 bed terrace to a huge 5 bed detached in an acre of grounds.

CMamaof4 Sat 25-Feb-17 16:22:19

Aww thats lovely crumbs, you were brave not even seeing the place!

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