gazumped (part 2)

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

Sorry about the deleted thread, was spooked by the threat of the DM! Will endeavour to keep things vague incase the V's EA's ex-oh or Mr Darcy suddenly decide to become mn'ers I think they should add a burn after reading feature

[AHobbyaweek]

Glad this thread is back. You said you are still going ahead, what did you agree in the end with the vendor/ea. Recaps please!!

[ApocalypseNowt]

Yay! I was hoping I'd spot your new thread

How are things going op?

[FourToTheFloor]

I was on your other thread, missed when DP became exDP though

Is this because of Mr D? nosey as fuck but like a good love story

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

Previously on "I've been gazumped"...insert dramatic music of choice. I decided to proceed with the purchase at my initially agreed price...I know...I'm an idiot... Mr D wants the EA fired, but I would just feel bad about that, so I'm hoping his stern telling off will scare him straight? (Time will tell I suppose) DP probably needs his own thread at this point, he's been unhappy since I decided to buy a house without him and now he "feels he can't be with someone who didn't respect his position" (presumably he just meant his position as a man? ). He had booked us a weekend away for my birthday next month, but today I got an email from the airline confirming the name change on my ticket. So I guess that's that then.

[Jammiedodgers]

The EA should def get fired! So unprofessional! I do think u should respect your oh though, he should be involved in big decisions if ur serious about him IMO

[MsShopper]

I was a lurker on your last thread and so pleased you're back! I really hope your vendors don't pull any more crazy out of the hat. Your DP meanwhile - what a cowardly PA move! Have you talked to him since you got the email?

[InfiniteSheldon]

Place marking just to see if your insane vendors have text you again

[BitchPeas]

You are brave to go ahead with this!

But you are better off without your XDP if that's his attitude. So that's a win!

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

I haven't spoken to him, just passive aggressively helpfully forwarded the email to his account. I had a message from the "friend" he's taking with him but I've resisted replying. Decided to stay at the office for a while so I don't just sit and eat ice cream and chocolate. No messages from the V's thankfully, but I know they've been told they shouldn't contact me.

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

coco he would have given my email when he booked because he doesn't like getting spam...he clearly didn't think it through. We're all going to be experts of Data Protection by the end of this saga though

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Wow, I think I missed a lot of updates on the previous thread!

Last I read was the vendors had texted a couple of ridiculous messages about how they know you can pay more and they thought your offer was unfair given how much money you have. It clearly had moved on a bit after.

I have to say, if you decided to go ahead and buy a house without agreement from your partner, then that is a bit off and I can see why he would be annoyed about it.

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

We weren't buying together, but maybe it's a bit unreasonable of me to think he should be on board. I've wanted to have a place to call home for a long time, now I have the opportunity to do it. I don't really know. Maybe I'll try and talk to him after he gets back from his holiday. Just realised I've had an email from the EA asking me not to report their guy to the ombudsman. I don't want anyone to get fired but is it rude to let them sweet a little?

[MsShopper]

No, let them sweat at the very least! As for your DP situation, it's hard to know whether you're being unreasonable or not without knowing how long you've been together, how serious it is, what future plans you've discussed if any etc. (I may have missed that detail on the last thread?) But either way he's not being very mature about it at all, which doesn't really help his case...

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Oh, if you weren't buying together, then what's the problem? I'm confused as to why he would have the hump about it.

I'd be reluctant NOT to report the EA. Did he give your number to the vendors? Was there ever another offer or did he totally make the whole thing up? He clearly must have told them of your finances.

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

He just thinks it's disrespectful for me to buy a house without him, and he doesn't want to buy a house. My boss wants to report them and have the guy fired. They haven't admitted to anything, but the V's said they had seen my bank statements, and they have to have given my number to them to contact me as the texts were definitely from them. So yea, they've given my info out and my personal financial information. I just would feel bad if they got fired, even though they are completely out of line. Was thinking maybe I would go speak face to face with the EA and see what they say, maybe if I could see they were remorseful or something it would alleviate some of the annoyance about the whole thing.

[bloodyteenagers]

I would report the EA to the ombudsman. You don't know how many people the person has screwed over previously. The next person might get scared at seeing the legal threats and up their price. The little shit needs the wrath of everything chucking at them for either trying to blackmail you into paying more, or passing all your details onto the vendor.

[Pigsbum]

I'm glad this thread is back!

I think I would report the EA, because the next person might not have the benefit of advice from the whole of Mumsnet AND Mr D and will just get taken for a ride.

I also think that you are better off without DP, if he doesn't want to buy, fine but why on earth shouldn't you? If, when he is ready, you want somewhere together you can sell up if you want - there are plenty of options other than you sitting back watching house prices rise and respecting his position

[CotswoldStrife]

Sorry to hear about the airline ticket, that must have stung a bit.

I'd still be tempted to report the EA to the ombudsman (and your bank as well, tbh) because showing your bank statement to the vendors is unacceptable.

[H1ghw4y61Revisited]

You make good points about the next person this may happen too Now I sort of feel responsible. I'm not really the damsel in distress kind but maybe I can just leave it to Mr D to handle on my behalf

[carmenta]

How is it "disrespectful" to buy a house without him?? You don't even live together yet. Odd thing to get stroppy about. (Unless he's lying and he's actually stroppy about Mr D).

And yes, I'd report the EA to the ombudsman. Much as EAs like to ignore it, they are in a position of trust in relation to a very stressful life-changing transaction. They need to live up to the level of responsibility.

[Piehunter]

The fact he's asked you not to report would make me want to more.. How dare they! Don't breach confidentiality and you won't be reported! Ex-p sounds insecure and like he's being a bit pathetic at the moment, so what if you want to buy a house and he doesn't? Strange... Glad you're back, I want to know if the sellers dial their crazy up or down!

[wholettooth]

But the EA lied to you about there being a higher offer, lied to the vendors that you'd dropped your price, then gave the vendors details of your finances including account details?
It's terribly dishonest and shady op. Someone must take responsibility for it.

[slightlypeevedwombat]

Definitely report
You're probably not the first