Head vs heart- confused(6 Posts)
Might be a bit long, but I'm hoping someone has been in this situation before and can tell me which is the best path.
We've recently left a large village outside of the city, said village is very expensive due to good schools, community and train station. Not for a moment do I regret offloading our money pit of a house. Spent £20k on it and it STILL needed work to stop the damp and give us more space downstairs and it wasn't in a fantastic spot due to neighbours and train commuters. We've come back into the city now into a bigger house which costs us less money. The problem is I love our house but hate the area. I'm a young sahm with 2 small children and feel isolated, my husband hates a certain road he has to walk through to get back onto our road too. Cat lovers advert your eyes for this bit, there are also feral tom cats in the area and we have a bush on our front lawn I've dubbed cat shit bush. They use all the surrounding grass as a toilet and constantly spray the bush. I'm always on edge when I'm getting the kids in the car telling my toddler to keep off the grass and when I'm in the house I'm on cat watch and hurl stuff at them as soon as I see them. The area is truly infested with cats.
Now we're pretty sure we're not going to stay in the area any longer than a few years, but I'm really pining for the village and the life it came with and all my and my dc's friends that we left and I've seen a house we could afford (just) in the village. for some reason it's not selling and I've asked the agent to ask whether the vendor would mind us looking as we're not on the market as this is the only house in the village we could afford. Without blowing my own horn we keep a pretty appealing house, always finished to the highest standard etc so I don't doubt we will sell within a couple of weeks. But we've lived here for 9 months and the head is saying stay longer. Also this house in the village is not going to be suitable for us in about 10 years time as we want a third child and two of the kids will have to share in bunk beds, which is not ideal. It would be better if the rooms would take two singles. The best way to describe the housing market in the village is that you don't get on a ladder there you get on a stool as the jump between the first houses and the next is massive. So I'm worried that we might get stuck there in cramped bedrooms.
I keep being told that you should always go for whatever you can afford in the best area instead of the best house in whatever area. Is this true? Or does it sound like my view of the village and the city being coloured by my dislike of the area? I said I'd never move back into the city once I left and I have, I feel like a fool for doubting myself. We've put a fair bit of money into this house as have my parents (I want to give them some money back), they've also spent a lot of time making the house liveable as I was heavily pregnant and my husband working very long hours and feel like I'm taking the piss and being ungrateful for wanting to leave.
Honestly what would you do?
I think its all about location. When your children are older, and leaving the house without you (to walk to school or call on their friends) would you be happy about them doing that in your current area? What are the schools like? I think once your children start school, its much more difficult to change.
I'd move - for me, the important thing is the life that we have as a family - the community, the schools, our friends, neighbours, the children's independence. The house doesn't give us that, its location does.
There's a very large new housing estate by us and whilst there's some really average looking families living there there are also lots of social housing and their are a lot of children that hang around on pretty illegal looking bikes being a nuisance. Our end of the road is lovely and it's all private housing. It's wonderful living with normal next door neighbours that look after their houses, but further up there's some families with very young children that have horrible attitudes and behaviour. I sound like a snooty bitch, but it makes you wonder what their kids are going to be like and I know they'll come down our end of the road when they start playing out as it is a safe area for them to run around in. In the far future our kids would love it here as we're not far from a bowling alley and cinema and there's a little green conservation area which is lovely.
There are a lot of schools here and there's only a couple both primary and secondary that require improvement, the rest are good. However in the village they operate on a first middle and higher system and the housewe're looking at there it's literally a straight line to the school. There are so many young families in the village and we know so many people there now. I'm always back up the village at playgroups and going to the butchers, there's always someone I know about and I am probably very likely to know the vendors as they have two small children looking at the pictures. The house in the village is virtually next door to a friend with a child my dc has been growing up with. It's also on the run to the nursery. I'm probably an odd one who does like a bit of foot traffic past the house as it makes me feel more connected to the outside world.
I think I know the answer. I've got a meeting with our bank Tuesday initially it was to consolidate our loans into the value of the house (we've got a pretty decent deposit in the house), but I'm going to see if they can draw us up a mortgage offer for the increased amount we need. I'm going to shift the crap lying around the house tomorrow ready for the agent to value and take photos. It's going to be fun selling with a toddler and be newborn, ha ha!
I'd move back. You'll have a better quality of life. If you hate where you live it makes you miserable everyday.
Thanks guys. I do feel a bit down about it up here my parents have called me up today and said they'd help get us back there how they can. I'm really grateful to them as I feel like I've taken the piss a bit
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.