New House and Not Fully Happy..(14 Posts)
Hi all. I was wondering if anybody has been in my situation or similar and is able to offer any advice...
We have been in our new house for 10 months but I just cannot settle and want to move out. The problem is not the house itself but noise from a local small airport which I just simply cannot get used to. I knew about the airport before we moved in but convinced myself that it is not a major airport and as the planes are only small so will be the noise impact. It is not. We spent a lot of time in the area before committing but looking back it was not long enough and it mainly consisted of walking around the centre of the village rather than outside the house itself which is obviously fairly difficult for long periods of time. The house itself is lovely and in a nice area. We had also been looking for a long time and got a really good offer on our old house so there was a bit of a pressure to have found somewhere if you know what I mean. I now feel like a fool for not checking it out properly as the noise affects my well being. On most days there is more or less a constant drone which reduces me to tears sometimes; am reluctant to go outside and use the garden and plan weekend trips just to get away. Some days when it is overcast there are hardly any planes and I feel so much less tense and happy but then the noise returns before too long. I have mentioned this to my husband who is upset that I am upset as it was supposed to be our long term home for 10 years or so. I now know that I cannot stay here this long or I will go mad. I am also 7 months pregnant and so moving out is out of question. We decorated the nursery the other day and it brought tears to my eyes as I desperately try to run away from the noise. By the way, it is not the hormones as I already felt like this before getting pregnant. I feel so embarrassed that we have made the wrong decision, moving house is so stressful and expensive and with the baby on the way and the financial situation I will need to put up with this for some time somehow. My husband notices the planes too obviously but says it is not the end of the world for him. He tries to be helpful but other than recommending that I see a gp and being a lovely husband that he is, he does not know what to do right now. I hate to moan about this to him because he is trying so hard to help. I am not sure what I am asking for, I think writing this down helps. I was wondering if anybody has been in a similar situation and if so what did you do? any advice on how to cope in the meantime? It is so tiring and awful to not enjoy your home. Many thanks for reading.
You've got 2 choices.
1) find a way to move home.
2) find a way to come to terms with the noise.
Try number 2 first. The more attention you give it the more you hear it.
Now you say it's not just pregnancy hormones however you had only been in this house for 3 months before getting pregnant.
3 months is not really long enough to get used to the sound. Pregnancy makes things like this seems so much worse.
I am very noise sensitive and I really do understand your thoughts. Try not to dwell on it. There is nothing you can do to stop it so you are going to have to try and cope with it.
See how you feel after you've had the baby.
Life is too short for this kind of stuff - some people can't deal with that kind of noise. I discounted a couple of houses because of the drone of traffic - yet can deal with heavy duty builder noise.
Having a newborn, and their naps and your lack of sleep will probably make the situation worse. Sorry to not be upbeat to the situation - but I have a newborn, so say this realistically.
You have to contemplate what you can do - can you afford to move or rent out this house? If you can, really just get on with it. If not, can you improve your situation - better glazed windows, water features in garden can sometimes help distract from other noises (obviously toddler proof for future) and as a last resort spending more time out and about - try bump classes etc.
Sorry it hasn't worked out, but try to channel your energy at making positive steps towards either moving or helping the matter. If you find you can't get out of a downward cycle of negativity - do speak to your midwife / GP.
Sorry you are in this situation. I lived under the flight path of Heathrow and swore I would NEVER live near an airport again. We moved 'up north' and were 20k away from an airport, I didn't consider that I might hear the planes but we could, not all the time but it annoyed me. We moved again and again needed to be near an airport. I drove round and round trying to find a place where I couldnt hear them and nearly drove my husband round the twist. In the end, we had to compromise. We have now moved again and I am finally free of plane noise. I am very glad. I can't say that I am now the happiest most serene, anxiety free person on the planet but at least now I am not plagued by planes.
I would move.
I would say move. I say this from experience - we bought a house directly under the Heathrow flight path when I was pregnant with my second child. You could literally see the landing gear on the planes, and every night I could see the lights in the sky of 3-4 planes all stacking to land at Heathrow. The v loud and intrusive noise from flights started from 5am. I too felt like a fool as I believed those people who said 'you'll get used to the noise'. Well I didn't and I didn't want to either. We lasted 2 years in the house before we moved away from the area. We moved out of London completely and to a smaller house, and I am a million times happier. It is definitely about location and I would never live under a flight path or too near a flight path again as it's something you can't change. I hope that you manage to find a solution and feel happier soon.
You do sound rather obsessed with the noise now - have you been like this (obsessive) about anything else in the past? You are spending all your day waiting for the next noise so the 'build up' will make it much worse for you as you spend the day in a constant state of anxiety, have you seen your GP as your DH suggested?
It is difficult to redirect your focus once it is fixed on something (which is why I was wondering if you had managed to do something similar in the past) so I hope you find something that works for you all very soon and that the remainder of your pregnancy is fine
Men are much less sensitive to noise. Can you use earplugs when you are really tired of it?
You should :
-move before the baby arrives. Moving pregnant isn't fun but you will be happier.
-use earplugs and plan on moving later
Once I moved in a new house -I was renting, I was a student, but I had quite a lot of stuff- I moved out the next day. I had to hire a van twice. I hate noise and I think you should follow your feeling.
I was brought up in a noisy house, full of love. I took the future DH there as an adult & he commented on the noise. We were so used to it (pausing conversations etc) that we didn't even know we were doing it.
Some of us get used to it. or maybe never knew different. I'm sorry it is hard for you, and others on this thread. Whatever the cause of your upset, your gp can help with the symptoms.
Many thanks for your replies everyone - I do appreciate it. As I feared most of the responses confirm that once you are sensitive to something it is almost impossible to get used to, it tends to get worse if anything. We cannot do a lot right now as the baby arrives in October but will be looking to move as soon as it is reasonably practical but having spoken with dh that's at least a year from now due to financial reasons. For now I shall go and see my gp as I wonder if this noise sensitivity is some sort of a condition - I cannot cope easily with noise in general like I won't go to a busy restaurant and change carriages on trains when people talk loudly otherwise I get tense and panicky. Let my situation be a warning to anybody out there looking to move and trying to talk themselves into something that they are not sure they will be able to tolerate -don't do it if you have doubts.
it sounds like you have hyperacusis (oversensitive hearing, being bothered by sounds) - IF the GP thinks so, you can ask if there is a hyperacusis clinic in your local area as in some areas they can offer 'desensitisation' treatment. Usually this is part of the audiology department.
don't rely on earplugs or earphones, as they can (confusingly) make noise sensitivity worse.
You don't want to spend your maternity leave unhappy. Could you rent it out and rent somewhere else until you can afford to sell?
Ask your GP if any of the things that can help tinnitus sufferers could help you.
Definitely move. Life is too short to be unhappy in your home. You probably will lose money in the process as you will have moved so soon after buying but then just put it down to experience. There has to be a value (emotional or monetary or both) to your sanity and well being.
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