New baby and extension timing

[indecisivedoctor]

We're planning a two storey extension as only a two bed now and need to go to a three. Plans currently under consideration having been refused once- although looking more positive this time.

We have a toddler with number two due in Jan. Planning decision due end month. Likely 16 week build. Had planned to push ahead and get bulk done pre baby but now starting to wonder if better to wait and do early next year?

Feel would give us more time for choosing the right builder, planning the details and making decisions like which kitchen etc.

How awful will new baby plus toddler plus builders be? We have both sets parents within 5 miles with scope to stay with them if needed although that'd be a last resort..

Any advice/ experiences much appreciated.

[minipie]

Personally I wouldn't do it with a toddler and newborn. Not just the mess and noise but also there are a lot of decisions to be made daily - choosing fittings, choosing where light switches etc go, paint colours, snagging, checking everything is being done right. You don't know yet whether you will have an easy baby or a clingy non sleeper, you also don't know how your toddler will be at that stage. It could be fine if they are both easy but it could be awful if not.

I'd either push on now, or wait till baby is 3/4+ months and accept that means you have 2 bedrooms (so baby in with you probably) for longer, probably till next autumn. Choice depends on how badly you want the 3rd bedroom sooner vs how important it is to you to get the build "right" rather than being a bit rushed.

I'd probably go for the latter option - wait till the baby is 3/4+ months before building. I think if you push on now you could easily find a 16 week build turns into 5-6 months (esp if weather is bad across winter) and then you are doing it with a newborn anyway... Can you tell I tend to be quite pessimistic about things

If you decided to wait, you could get a lot of the decisions - choosing fittings, finding builders to quote etc - done now before the baby is born, and then that would make it smoother when you come to do the build next summer.

[Thelovecats]

We did a similar scale extension. Started when I was 7 months pregnant and moved in just before Xmas when baby was 2 months old. Had another child too. We found temp accommodation for the duration of the build as I just didn't see that it was viable otherwise. I didn't want to wait because doing it with crawling baby etc seemed much worse.
It wasn't so bad because we weren't in the house, but I agree that there are a lot of decisions to be made, and perhaps if my head hadn't been all over the place with newborn it would have been easier.

[namechangedtoday15]

Depends. Currently in the midst of it. No option to move out - no one local to stay with, couldn't afford to rent elsewhere. Probably about 2/3 of the way through. The end is in sight, but this part - with the builders working inside doing new layout, electrics, plastering, plumbing is just really, really dirty. We have lost the back of the house so have lost rear reception room and kitchen (although have mini working kitchen) and rear bedroom and bathroom. We're likely to be without a bathroom for about 3 weeks (using neighbours for showers whilst they're away and then going away for 2 weeks).

It hasn't been so bad up until now, but the last 2 weeks its been incredibly stressful (and I actually love doing all this sort of stuff normally). Where do I want spotlights, do I want them all on one switch / separate, where are plug sockets going, loft hatch was in the wrong place, radiators need moving, how do we want the tiles laid, which way do all the doors open, how big do we want windowsills, which obscure glass do I want for the bathrooms?! Its little details that all seem to have come at once and need managing. I think the "big" decisions - kitchen, bathroom can be planned in advance, its the things that you haven't necessarily thought of that pile on the pressure.

Not sure how I'd cope with all those decisions with broken sleep and a newborn although having said that, the thought of living with either my parents or my PIL with a newborn isn't attractive either!!

[indecisivedoctor]

Thanks all for replies.. Food for thought.

One of the thoughts for delaying was being able to make decisions in advance but I hadn't quite appreciated the burden of "little" decisions made in the moment.

I hadn't thought about delaying even further but that's definitely worth considering. I would want to be done for weaning times as I found I was more home bound then but could definitely try and get through the first 6/8 weeks and maybe plan to build then?

Quite agree about staying with parents- would be hell but I suppose the help would offset the lack of privacy and we are pretty lucky to have them so close..