Tips and reassurance on telling 5 year old about imminent house move(10 Posts)
Hi we are hopefully relocating from London to Worcs over the summer holidays.
DC are 5 and 3.
DD 5 is in reception.
Am fretting and over analysing when and how to tell her about the move.
We have held back as things were very uncertain and she has been very vocal about never wanting to move ( like Topsy and Tim did recently!)
Rationally I know she will be fine as there are many positives (bribes!) but she loves her bedroom and is a stubborn sort who may well be very unimpressed at first.
Can anyone give me a voice of experience as to how to do it - we plan to take her to visit the new school and house in a couple of weeks ... But do we need to give her some time to get used the idea or is it just as well to maintain normality for her as long as possible. She will of course have the summer holidays to get used to the idea of a new school.
Argh am rambling but really need a firm plan and keep dithering .. Also she would go and meet her new teacher for Yr1 next week - is it really unfair to let her do that when its 90% likely we will have moved?
Any ideas most welcome !
Mine were similar ages when we moved. Being a local move they did end up coming to look round a couple of houses with us, although I'm not sure they saw "the" one till we actually moved.
Until exchange we kept things pretty general, reading the odd moving house book etc. Once we'd exchanged we spent more time looking at photos, talking about decorating their rooms etc. Given the number of chains which fell apart I'm glad we didn't go into much detail early on.
My 5 year old spent quite a lot of time playing moving day with a dolls house, toy truck and another house we made form a cardboard box.
They got quite upset at the idea of things not coming with us to the new house, so much as I wanted to declutter the toys before we packed I ended up not doing that.
My sons were almost 7 and almost 4 and we treated it like an adventure.
We had to explain that all our things would be moving with us and all the things currently in the new house we be going with that family.
To ease the transition we bunked them in together for 2 days at the new house whilst I decorated Ds2's bedroom in the exact same colours as the bedroom at the last house so his room felt familiar.
Let your daughter meet her new yr1 teacher in case there is any delay with the move.
Reassure her that she will make new friends at the new school.
We used to live in Worcester and moved to Leeds.
Thanks so much for the replies both - you know how sometimes even though you know rationally things will be ok you still get in a flap !
Of course the silly thing is we have made the decision firmly for the DC benefit - more space closer to family etc but I am still so nervous of rocking my 5 year olds world.
Maybe I am projecting my own anxiety - leaving London after 20 plus years for a small village is quite terrifying at times.
Good point about meeting year one teacher - am agreeing that probably is easier than excluding her from it!
We will probably stay with my dsis and bil for a couple of days while we prep the house - they adore it there and we are partly moving to be closer to them !
We figured we would have to take her to the new school before term starts -so have arranged to take her to the new house the same day - so hopefully that won't be too overwhelming.
Not sure how much in advance of that to tell her - by then we should almost be at exchange - is a weeks notice enough ?!
TIA for help feeling a bit more rational !
If funds allow, why not take them to a local attraction in Worcs that you know they'll love (even soft play) so that you can say "remember that fun place? We can go back there on the first morning in our new house!"
Don't fret, honestly. I moved 6 times before age 11. The age 11 one was drive past "there's your new home" and then "there's your new school"
That was it. Usually got told a couple of weeks before that we were moving. I got to pick my bedroom (out of two room usually) and paint/decorating colours
She might be more upset by the idea of a new school, does she know anything about the move? We moved when my youngest daughter was 9, she was very upset, we just couldnt afford to stay where we were I was working night and day 60 hours a week, it was killing me. Ipromised she could stay in her old school, she did for some time, but the commute which wasnt far was ridiculous, so many row with school run Mum who lived walking distance from the school, people parked selfishly, and one morning the final straw, bearing in mind I had just got home from a 12 hour night shift, bloke overtook the park cars and refused to back up, he was in front of me, I was on the correct side of the road, we both sat there, he told me to reverse and get in behind park cars on the other side of the road, and told me it was the fault of the people who ived and parked there, these were Victorian houses built long before cars, I burst into tears told me daughter i was really sorry but she would have to go to the local school, which was actually in the next road to where we lived, she was very upset, but made friends there, and had those same friends to go on to secondary school with.
Thanks so much for the extra replies.
I feel a bit silly really as we are moving for so many positive reasons and I know that both DC will be excited - I just also know that DD can be emotional / anxious and has been very vocal about loving our Home and her room and never wanting to move! I want to do my best to ease her coming to terms with it.
They will have so much more space and friends and family can visit etc - but equally I know it's a wrench and I feel that too.
Talk about the move in positive terms, although acknowledge it will be sad to leave the old house. If she loves her bedroom, emphasise how exciting it would be to have a new room. Perhaps promise her something new for the bedroom, a new picture, wallpaper, new build a bear.
I don't think,you should leave it to the last minute. She probably is aware that something is up, especially if you have raken days out to go househunting etc.
Use Topsy and Tim moving house as a catalyst to nitro dude the subject. It may help her to visualise what is happening.
We moved when ds were 6 and 8. They soon adaptntomthe new surroundings, especially if you treat them to days atbthevzoo, visits to the park etc in the new location.
Greetings from Worcestershire. We moved house a few years ago and I paid for my parents to come and stay in a local hotel with the kids for a couple of nights. They took them out on nice outings but came and checked in on us at our new house often so the kids knew we hadn't done a runner. My top tip is get the kids bedrooms sorted first and pack their bedding straight off their beds in the old house and put it on their beds in the new house. That way they still have a familiar smell when they go to bed and will settle easier / a bit like giving a baby a cloth that smells of you to help them relax. It worked well for us .
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