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What would you do - stay or go?

(11 Posts)
wheretomove2 Thu 09-Jun-16 14:07:47

Currently live in commuterbelt - it's all very nice and safe but pretty boring. I am getting used to it now though, though I don't think I will ever love it here. But it does tick a lot of boxes, affordable, great primary, secondary not amazing but not awful. Know some friends here now. Easy access to proper countryside and commute just about doable. And could afford a nice detached place with a garden. So I think great for kids now while they are young, but I think they will be so bored when older and nothing much to do and will have to drive them everywhere. I also wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the kids. I really hated it the first year we were here. It has got better as I've got used to it however and I am aware I could be living in a hellhole but I'm only in very dull but safe commuterland.
We could move somewhere we much prefer though before kids start school. Great primaries and better range of choices for secondary - and marginally better too (only based on ofsted though). Lots to do, parks, river, things going on. Very safe and green too but more vibrant. Commute slightly quicker and more options but a bit more faff - as comes into wrong station in London. And more expensive too but could just about afford 4 bed semi with garden. Know people here too. Think would be a great place for kids to grow up in now and the future as more to do plus easy access to bigger town plus could be more independent with buses etc. Further from my parents though by about half hour. So lots of swings and roundabouts.
Toddler currently settled in amazing childminder setting. I feel ill thinking about moving him. TBH this is probably why we have not moved yet! But also I wonder if the grass is really greener. Should we disrupt him and move house and his childcare setting just because we prefer another location?? Sometimes I think short term disruption only - and we will be happier in the long term, but other times I think we are being daft as would be moving to a more expensive location just because there is more to do!
What would you do? Need to get this sorted now before get into school applications etc.

concertplayer Thu 09-Jun-16 17:53:44

So the issue is that the current place is boring ( and little chance of this
changing in the next 10 years) and the new one offers more for a more grown up family apart from an awkward commute and further distance
from DGS?

minipie Thu 09-Jun-16 18:48:37


Nickname1980 Thu 09-Jun-16 19:01:59

Definitely move! To help you decide, go and see some childminders in your preferred place. Then that'll help you feel better about it.

You don't love where you are now and sound like you love where you want to go!

3boys3dogshelp Thu 09-Jun-16 19:07:46

Move! Do it now before you're tied into a school. We live in a nice area with a long commute, missed the chance to move to nice area with short commute and now are stuck with 2 at infant school. By the time dc2 gets to juniors dc3 will be in infants so we will struggle to find a good school for them all if we move for at least the next 5 years.

Minniemagoo Thu 09-Jun-16 19:13:11

I think if you read back your post you will realise the move is what you want.

CityDweller Thu 09-Jun-16 19:25:02

It's clear you should move! Your toddler will settle into a new childcare setting relatively quickly.

I too balked at moving DD from a much loved childminder when she was 2.5 due to a house move. Needn't have as she settled well into her new settings and, in fact, really flourishes. New places (pre school and a new cm) were different, but not in a bad way.

I'd go for it in a heartbeat. Your kids will thank you when they're older and life's too short to live in dullsville

wheretomove2 Thu 09-Jun-16 20:12:22

Thanks for comments.
Yes I guess the issue is whether moving to somewhere we prefer (even though more £££ and commute not amazing) is worth the upheaval. Just because where we are is a bit zzz and not amazing for teenagers.
I'm just stressed at the idea of "the move" and finding new childcare.

Nickname1980 Thu 09-Jun-16 22:02:46

I agree with previous posters that it's definitely better to do it now than when they start school.

Moving is such an upheaval, you're right. But you sound like you really like the new location. And the upheaval bit will pass quite quickly - especially since you already know a few people there.

I live an exciting (well, to me), expensive place and should be sensible and move somewhere slightly less exciting and less expensive so I can have a lovely house. But... I can't bring myself to. It really is location, location, location!

Honeyandfizz Fri 10-Jun-16 06:55:43

Move before the dc settle into school and you are stuck there for 13 years plus. Children adapt very quickly when young it's as they get older and make firm friendship groups you struggle. Sounds like moving is what you want so go for it!

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Fri 10-Jun-16 12:08:19

Move now! Not sure why you are even questioning it. A toddler's childcare is flexible. School not so much. We moved after our child started school so we were restricted on where we would buy as we didn't want to move schools. We had no choice about when we moved though. If I'd had the chance earlier I'd have taken it before schools became a factor. Nursery wouldn't have even been a consideration for me. Better secondaries are very important and something that could be an issue for us.

It's very clear from your post that you really want to move and there is nothing holding you back from this.

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