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Property/DIY

Ticks all the boxes didn't get "the feeling"

25 replies

ChubbyPolecat · 28/04/2016 18:36

So I'm a FTB buying by myself in the south East. I must have viewed 40 odd places by now and haven't seen one I love. I saw one tonight that ticks every single box but I just didn't love it. I liked it, there's nothing not to like but I didn't get the feeling.

Tell me that doesn't matter and I'll grow to love it! I think part of it is that I'm scared to take the plunge and finally move out of home but it is a lovely flat and I could move straight in

OP posts:

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Pootlebug · 28/04/2016 18:44

If it ticks every single box that is pretty good. It will feel much more like home when it has your stuff etc.

I chose our current house for 'head' reasons, although it ticked enough boxes. I love it now. That said, I bought a previous house for 'head' reasons even though it didn't tick enough boxes (specifically, it was too modern with no features and low ceilings), and I always regretted it.

ChubbyPolecat · 28/04/2016 18:57

I don't know whether it's just that I'm a bit jaded about looking now! Plus other people have said "make sure you can add value" and that a house is better than a flat. I'm late twenties and single though, I keep trying to tell myself I'm not looking for a forever home!

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123rd · 28/04/2016 19:01

I don't know...we looked a houses that were what we wanted on paper. But looked at them didn't like them. The house we bought in the end was not what we were expecting to buy but loved it as soon as we stopped thru the very old and shabby door

Wuffleflump · 28/04/2016 19:02

Not being in love with it could help in negotiations. You'll be able to make better decisions without emotional investment.

I've never got super-excited about viewing places myself. I think you're correct that you can get viewing fatigue.

Laska5772 · 28/04/2016 19:13

We were looking for a big garden primarily , but I did have ideas of the sort ofhouse that would be attached to it Edwardian/ Victorian etc..

We bought a 1960s chalet bungalow !! (and love it!...been here 10 years and cant ever see us moving ) Dont get too hidebound....

(it does have a lovely big garden also)

Laska5772 · 28/04/2016 19:16

There are Edwardian/ Victorian houses over the road from us.. Lovely redbrick and slate roofs.. (ours has 60s yellow bricks and green tiled roof.). but I still love ours more .. it just works ..

Qwebec · 29/04/2016 04:16

I disagree with what people have told you. Houses and flats both have plus and minus points. I have a house and we are two. It is way to big (unfinished basement). It made sense because we want kids and I like DIY and have family that can show us how to manage the workload (it's been neglected and badly repared for decades). If you are single a flat is better IMO. Less maintenance a more managable space and all. Listen to what peopel tell you, but first and foremost see what suits your needs. As for the feeling maybe it's just moving there and settteling in that will make you feel at home. How have you felt when you saw where you currently live?

ChubbyPolecat · 29/04/2016 06:51

I still live at home at the moment this will be the first time I've moved out (been saving for my deposit).

Thanks for your thoughts, I'm going to put an offer in and see what the vendor says. I think I could probably look for another 6 months and not find anywhere I like and by that time prices will have gone up hugely!

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Lonecatwithkitten · 29/04/2016 07:37

I am buying a house (we complete in three weeks) that ticked every box, but I didn't fall in love with. Since I made the offer I have gradually fallen in love with how easy it is going to make my life. Having lived in the 'love' houses for many years I would now always go for ticking all the boxes.

poocatcherchampion · 29/04/2016 07:52

What are your boxes that it has ticked?

Location?
Size?

shovetheholly · 29/04/2016 09:56

A home isn't just about the built fabric - it's also about your lifestyle. Somewhere that is convenient, close to everything you need, warm, easy to maintain can actually be way better in the long run that a dream home that needs a lot of work in an inconvenient location!

chelle792 · 29/04/2016 09:58

The house I'm in I said "no way". I've lived here for six years now and can't see myself ever moving. I looked at the floor plan and realised that it would be worth it. I love it

ChubbyPolecat · 29/04/2016 12:05

The boxes it's ticked are location (it's in a nice part of my town close ish to work), size, garden, decor, layout, storage space. Everything really!

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shovetheholly · 29/04/2016 12:39

It sounds great chubby.

To be honest, I think there is a bit of an emotional 'script' that people rattle out about this (like lots of other areas in life: weddings, breakups). It doesn't fit everyone because life just isn't one size fits all. The script says that you're supposed to fall dramatically and head-over-heels in love with a house, to the point that you're practically willing to bankrupt yourself to get it. This has never happened to me. I am far to prudent and square for it ever to happen I think (and too liable to get anxious about big decisions ever to have that unalloyed rush of pleasure about them). In my more cynical moments, I sometimes think that that head-over-heels experience is often being in love with how it would look to other people to live in a house and not what it is actually like, IYSWIM.

The house I live in right now was bought by DH before we were together. I probably wouldn't have chosen it, certainly it would never have made me feel that head-pounding desire to possess it. It is a very, very standard and modest house, with nothing particularly special about it. But it is perfect for us, because the location is great, the neighbours are great, it's neither too big nor too small (apart from the kitchen, which we're extending), the layout works for us, it's warm, I have a decent sized garden, and it's so far within our budget that we can have a really lovely life around it doing the things we really want to do. I've really grown to like it a lot, to the point that I don't think we will move for very, very many years, if ever. While it remains a standard house, it's what it does for us that makes it amazing.

If your instincts are telling you it's wrong, then listen. But if you're worried simply because you don't feel as strongly as you "should", that's not necessarily a sign that this is a bad choice!

HeadDreamer · 29/04/2016 12:48

If it ticks all the boxes it's the right house. You must have a good list of things you know you want from a house now after viewing 40. Once you got the house, you have time to make it your own.

snowgirl1 · 29/04/2016 12:49

I don't love the house that we bought - but it ticked the boxes and we're happy it.

HeadDreamer · 29/04/2016 12:53

I don't know whether it's just that I'm a bit jaded about looking now! Plus other people have said "make sure you can add value" and that a house is better than a flat. I'm late twenties and single though, I keep trying to tell myself I'm not looking for a forever home!

It depends on what you can afford. A friend of ours got a 2-bed flat in his late twenties. Haven't met anyone etc etc. Then fast forward 5 years and he's engaged to a women with 2 children! They have to rent his flat out while renting a 3-bed house.

What your friend is saying is you don't know what will happen in 5 years time. You are right it won't be a forever home. But things can change very quickly. (Though it's less likely for a men to come with children). You need to buy something you can afford now and that you can make it work for you now. If you buy in the SE and it's in a good location, you shouldn't have problem selling it back. It's right it's not a forever. But if you don't mind a house, then it's not a bad thing to buy. A colleague bought a 3-bed semi in a location very close to the city centre as a compromise, for example. That's a good choice for the in between single/young family situation.

HeadDreamer · 29/04/2016 12:54

The boxes it's ticked are location (it's in a nice part of my town close ish to work), size, garden, decor, layout, storage space. Everything really!

That sounds great, agree with shove

Lonecatwithkitten · 29/04/2016 13:09

Those are the boxes ticked for me, can't wait to move in now. Buying a house is about a lifestyle, it will give me exactly the lifestyle I want.

thisisbloodyridiculous · 29/04/2016 16:12

It depends on what kind of person you are too - I'm definitely a heart over head person and feel very emotional about where I choose to live. I fell in love with our house as soon as I walked through the door even though it didn't have loads of the things we wanted. It's not the easiest house to live in and some days I wish we'd gone for somewhere that ticked all the boxes but unfortunately it was unlikely to happen for me as it's all about that feeling.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 29/04/2016 17:03

I've never fallen in love with a house either.

This house was a pragmatic buy. Right location, right amount of space and in the right places, possibility of making it lovely. So we bought it, did it up and it is lovely. The kids love it here and would stay forever, as would I.

However, DH has never liked it here (not because of the house really; it's him being odd and difficult) so we're moving 4 years on. I don't love the house we're buying but it's the best we could find. It's in as good a location as we can get, given DH's requirements (but not as good a location as this house) and it has plenty of space in all the right places. We can make it lovely, and so it will be absolutely fine.

I don't want to move again though, because buying and selling houses is no fun at all.

Melawen · 29/04/2016 20:26

Hmm I understand what you mean - saw seven houses today (some not so good) and the last one was great but....I couldn't get excited about it!

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ChubbyPolecat · 30/04/2016 06:35

Thanks for your thoughts...I put an offer in yesterday and waiting to hear back. It's the highest offer I can do but I get the feeling the vendor might be holding out for more so I'll see what they come back with.

Definitely reassuring that others have come to love places they didn't get that mythical feeling though!

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Oliversmumsarmy · 30/04/2016 07:19

Always go for head over heart. Only once did I buy a house that I fell in love with and it was the worst mistake.
The thing about buying something you can grow into. Or what happens in 5 years time, will it suit your needs can be addressed by selling and buying something more appropriate or renting it out and renting or buying. something else.
Lives change. In the 5 years from my first house purchase I had bought and sold 4 times and had lived in 3 different areas of the country. Moving from a 3 bed semi to a studio flat to a 3 bed terrace to a 3 bed detached thatched cottage.
The house we live in now we didn't view before buying but it is in the right location and has the right amount of bedrooms and ticks a few other boxes. We have been here 17 years

Shimmery · 21/03/2020 20:06

Hi there, I realize this is quite an old discussion, however, I’m in the exact same position now and just wondering if you went ahead with the purchase? If so were you happy you did? Many thanks X

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