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I have a 5 bed house and rent out 3 rooms. Everytime a woman lodger comes there is always jealousy from her and I am female and live in property too. Should i just be sexist and never let out to women

(33 Posts)
bigroundsunglasses Sun 17-Apr-16 18:18:34

I really enjoy my female friend's company but having female lodgers just seems to become toxic when they become jealous which then turns to full on hate and a sad toxic environment for all. Male lodgers are clean tidy and respectful.
I am female. Should I only then have male lodgers?

MerricatBlackwood Sun 17-Apr-16 18:29:11

Jealous of what?

<shrugs> it's your house - let it to whomever you choose.

NapQueen Sun 17-Apr-16 18:29:54

What are they jealous o

Shakey15000 Sun 17-Apr-16 18:33:59

Are you Samantha Brick? grin

But yes, what are they jealous of? And if you want to let it out to just males then crack on.

Groovee Sun 17-Apr-16 18:35:04

Why do they become jealous

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 17-Apr-16 18:35:51

You can let it to whoever you chose but if it keeps happening id wonder if you were the common denominator and is there something off in the way you're coming across?

How involved do you get with your lodgers?

TheRollingCrone Sun 17-Apr-16 18:42:21

Jealous how? Of each other? Claims on your friendship? I don,t understand ( sorry
could you expand a bit?)

FishWithABicycle Sun 17-Apr-16 18:53:21

I think you are either being unconsciously sexist by assuming all women are alike and have the same desires and preferences, or you are very insecure and are attributing any negative experience to "jealousy" when in fact there is something else going on. What do you imagine them to be jealous of?

morningtoncrescent62 Sun 17-Apr-16 20:37:27

A friend of mine has a large house and lets out rooms. She lets to postgraduate mature students (she's registered with the university accommodation office) and she's had some really lovely women as lodgers. They're almost always international students, and they're often very interesting people to have around the house - some have gone on to be long-term friends. Might an arrangement like this work for you? If you're reasonably near a university you could probably ask them.

citychick Sun 17-Apr-16 23:43:13

Your gut instinct is telling you to have male lodgers, then.
The female dynamic isn't working for you and your home.

We had lodgers for a couple of years and I followed my gut. For us it was females under 30. Reason? I needed to feel in control of my home. Not judged or in competition with someone my age. Also we have young DS. Younger females don't mind kids so much and are never home.

I would have been happy with younger males too, but decided to even up the household to 2 boys (dh and ds) and myself and female lodger.

It's your home, you chose who you let out your rooms to. I don't think you are being sexist at all. You simply need to find the dynamic that works. If there are 4 of u in the house, try 2 girls and 2 boys?

You need to feel comfortable on your own home.

Good luck.

lesshaste Mon 18-Apr-16 08:11:15

You might have to watch out for sex discrimination law.

See e.g. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/discrimination-in-housing/what-are-the-different-types-of-discrimination-in-housing/what-doesn-t-count-as-unlawful-discrimination-in-housing/

DropYourSword Mon 18-Apr-16 08:16:48

Male lodgers are clean tidy and respectful

Where are you finding this rare breed!!

Live with who you want. But this 'jealous' comment and the fact you think it's inevitable makes you sound a little Samantha Brick-y!

Caprinihahahaha Mon 18-Apr-16 08:22:00

I'm always wary of the 'jealous' thing. It has overtones of 'they must be being awful because I am so wonderful' . It's like women who claim that they lack female friends because women just can't get past how attractive they are.

Is it possible you are just a bit of a dick to your female lodgers?

In the equation 'are all female lodgers irrationally jealous or is one landlord a bit of a dick' I think have a likely answer.

citychick Mon 18-Apr-16 14:44:38

lesshaste

When advertising for a lodger, one would not Obviously discriminate.
On the spareroom website, you can generally specify the type of lodger you would ideally like to invite into your home.

If anyone ever called/emailed to ask why I didn't choose them, I don't justify my choice. I just say the room has gone. No need to get into a conversation about it.

Otherwise it would be chaos and we'd all be living with lodgers we hate feeling trapped in our homes.

firesidechat Tue 19-Apr-16 12:52:35

Did you join mn to tell us this op?

My daughter has house shared with men in the past and for the most part their habits were vile. You've done very well to find all these house trained men and bad luck with all those nasty jealous women. You sound wonderful op. hmm

firesidechat Tue 19-Apr-16 12:57:13

What a weird thread. Goady as hell, but posted in property?

EBearhug Tue 19-Apr-16 13:00:20

Male lodgers are clean tidy and respectful.

I think you've been very lucky!

Nibbl3s Tue 19-Apr-16 13:28:26

Yes Op, they are definitely jealous of you. You sound like a right catch hmm

amarmai Wed 20-Apr-16 14:36:29

why attack the op? She feels what she feels.

Caprinihahahaha Wed 20-Apr-16 15:11:11

Indeed. I feel what I feel.
<so true>

amarmai Wed 20-Apr-16 17:01:47

it's not about you tho .

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Wed 20-Apr-16 17:10:45

I wondered if this was a reverse aibu type thing from a bloke fed up with how many ads specify women only, and he wanted to trick us into saying 'no you can't never let out to women, that's sexist!' so he could go 'ha! Gotcha! Hypocrites!'
Damned strange thread otherwise.

firesidechat Wed 20-Apr-16 17:53:08

You don't think there's a problem with what the op posted amarmai? You think the op was being honest about his/her feelings?

bigroundsunglasses Wed 20-Apr-16 21:13:27

I have a lot of good female friends whose friendships I value and respect a great deal. I am just going on experiences in the house since letting.

I did want 2 men 2 women ratio and tried this. Maybe I am more detached to male lodgers than female and that is what is being given off.

I am much more pro women than men but want peace in house. At the end of day it is a business renting out room/s in your house.

Good to read all comments.

bigroundsunglasses Wed 20-Apr-16 21:15:51

lol on me being a right catch. lol Thread was not about that, it's okay.

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