Moving away from London to have first baby(16 Posts)
I'm 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend and I are contemplating moving away from London to have our baby. We're both freelance and worried that we won't be able to afford much with the astronomical rent prices in London. I was wondering whether anyone had done anything similar? If you could offer any advice at all?
We have thought about moving up North to Manchester or Liverpool where I have family but I'm worried that it will be too much of a change for us and that I'll feel cut off from my life in London (we've both been here for over 10 years). We're also looking at moving to places which are more commutable to London (Hastings/Brighton etc) but then there's the worry that we won't know anyone at all there and I'll feel even more isolated.
It's our first child so I don't know what to expect! If anyone has any advie at all it'd be great to hear your views.
don't quite understand - where are you living now? Is the issue that one person's income will stop for childcare?
and, er, with two months to go isn't it going to be a bit of a rush to find somewhere, get settled and transfer the antenatal care?
Billericay in Essex has lots of couples moving out of London to start a family, so there are towns out there which welcome new families. I guess your options are limited by how often you'll need/want to travel to London and how much you'll have to spend on a house.
I wouldn't do it at this point. London is a great place to have a baby, excellent nearby hospitals, loads and loads of stuff to do with a baby/toddler, lots of which is free, cheap transport to get around on, lots of which is now step free but people are very helpful, lots of parks and playgrounds. Basically you have a lot of choice.
Yeah, sorry if it wasn't clear specialsubject I do live in London now and haven't moved sooner as I'm freelance and my work is predominantly in London so I have been trying to work as much as possible before the baby is born. It is a rush and not ideal to move now but as I didn't plan to fall pregnant we haven't had a great deal of time to organise things.
Are you planning on working once the baby is here? Is your partner?
You say your work has been London based. How would that work with moving away?
I'm planning on taking 9 months maternity from Dec and working a few days during this period, I think you can legally work 10 days, not much but better than nothing!
Both of our jobs are more London based but there is work up North, it just wouldn't be as frequent as the work in London or as well paid. If we moved to Lpool/Manchester we were thinking that family could possibly look after the baby if we both needed to be in London for work for a day or two or in work up North, where as if we both lived in London and needed to work our only option would be a child minder which I fear would be too expensive.
Sorry, not straight forward I know! But I really do appreciate your comments so thanks so much for reading and replying x
You don't say what your housing situation is now - space for baby in your current place?
I wouldn't move right now. I really enjoyed being in London on maternity leave. Lots to do, etc, easy to get around, and presumably you already have friends here.
After a year or so you can reassess. It wasn't until DC1 was a toddler and DC2 a small baby that we finally decided to leave London so we could afford the usual house with garden, etc etc.
tricky - but FWIW stay put. Presumably you are renting so can move at short-ish notice.
no reason not to bring up a child in London.
sounds like you have some big juggling, cutting back and planning to do - but nothing is impossible and you'd have to do that wherever you are. Get the baby kit from ebay and go from there.
good luck and here's to the new arrival.
We moved to the English south coast from London with a small child but have family up north, very similar to your situation!
We love it down here and have been here 4 years but have found the lack of family and old-mates support tough.
The biggest issue for us here however is lack of decent jobs in our (fairly specialised) sectors. I wonder if perhaps the lack of family support wouldn't be so tough if we could afford a nanny / au pair or even a babysitter from time to time. So we are now thinking about moving north in the next few years, for the work and family support as we'll have a better quality of life.
We tried commuting to London but we're not in Brighton so no fast train and it wasn't sustainable for us (although plenty of people do it)
But we do love it here, and if the right job came up I suspect we might abandon our plans to move.
If you have freelance jobs sorted your experience will be different to ours. There are some great schools, stunning countryside, loads to do.
Basically I think i'm.trying to say both sound like good options for you! Although be aware that that family support does make things easier!
Oh I also wanted to say we moved (just across town) when I was pregnant, it was a nightmare!
I agree with the others,.possibly better to use your maternity to research places to move - once you've got the hang of being a new mum that is give yourself plenty of time for that
At this stage I'd stay put, as you don't really need the added stress at the moment.
Longer term, if I were in your situation I'd move nearer family. Manchester city centre has improved lots in the past few years, and so much more manageable in size and more affordable than London, plus cabs are super cheap!
I suffered with PND post baby and found lack of family support really hard. DH works long hours so I felt completely isolated, despite all of the activities in the area, it seemed to overwhelming to even leave home some days. And the tube is a pain with a pram - you really appreciate how hard disable people have it when you're trying to wheel a baby around London.
Agree with pp, l wouldn't move just yet. We moved when dd1 was a few says old. Nightmare!
Have stayed put (London) for dd2 and it's been a much calmer experience.
Also dh and I both work in London and it's priceless having him home at a decent hour to help out.
stay put for now - it's a big enough change having a baby without moving as well. i did it and it's the biggest regret ever! extremely stressful. London is great with a baby. Stay, see how you feel in a year-18 monhts, even longer - till pre primary then decide whether to go or not.
Agree having dh home earlier the better. Loads of mum support in London too.
I agree with the last poster stay put and look into in 18 month time.
There are plenty of places around the country you can commute within an hour and a half and less without staying in the south east.
Usually with dc you can make friends easily where ever you move to, neighbours, having parties, toddler groups, schools etc
I would advise you to stay in London for now!
There is so much stress with moving, especially when pregnant and to a new place where you don't know anyone.
I loved my maternity leave in London! Easy ish to get around on public transport- well, on the DLR docklands light railway- lots of parks and places to go.
I'd give it a year or so, do your research and move then
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