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Has anyone every quickly regretted buying their house, soon after purchase?

(26 Posts)
IUseAnyName Wed 08-Jul-15 16:59:28

We bought a house about two months ago, after a relocation.
We've been renting in mew area for 8 months and son is in local school.
But althougj our house is lovely, and area and school are great. I am pining for my old area and old friends.
I know it can take a while to settle somewhere new but I really feel like I want to move back!
I haven't chatted toy dh about this, he is happy in new area.

Has this ever happened to anyone? What did you do about it?

jimijack Wed 08-Jul-15 17:03:55

Oh god yes, we discovered that the place was literally falling to bits around us and the amount of work needed was overwhelming.

We made a plan, budgeted and got on with it.
Absolutely love it now.
Tbf we moved from a rough area to a run down house in a lovely area, so needed to make it work.

CityDweller Wed 08-Jul-15 17:06:40

Yes, instant regret, but for totally different reasons (specific to the flat and a psycho neighbour who revealed her psycho-ness the morning after we moved in). Stuck it out for just over a year (a miserable year in which we took every opportunity to stay with family or friends of a weekend) before putting it back on market. Best decision we ever made (sold quickly and we've been v happy in place we moved to).

In your case, maybe it's just that it'll take a while to make friends and find the fun things to do in your new area?

IssyStark Wed 08-Jul-15 17:08:24

But you aren't regretting the house, it's not the house that is the problem. Nothing is really different from a couple of months ago except you are paying a mortgage rather than rent, has it?

What it has done has make you face up to the fact that you have moved from your old area, which you did eight months ago.

Not sure what to suggest as I don't know how permanent your relocation is, or indeed how far. I think you've just got delayed relocation wobbles.

Belleview Wed 08-Jul-15 17:12:41

City I can't imagine how tricky it must be selling a house when you know there is a psycho neighbour. Otoh you must be keen to sell and exit forthwith, but.... You have to live with your conscience about withholding the facts from your buyers. Must be so difficult!

IUseAnyName Wed 08-Jul-15 17:15:50

You're right, it's not the house. But it's the realisation that due to the purchase of the house, the relocation is more permanent!
I have made friends, but miss my old friends, there are some lovely places to visit here and I have got some work in my field, but again I miss the other lovely places I came from.
I think I'm kust wondering what I can do about the situation?.... Would you sell up after only a couple of months? Or suck it up and see how it goes.
We're not stuck due to work but moved mainly for dc schooling. And because we like the area, but I spend a lot of my days alone, knowing that if I was still in the other area I'd be round at friends house having a brew, or taking dog for long walks with other friend.... I now take the dog on long walks alone.

IUseAnyName Wed 08-Jul-15 17:17:13

Has anyone ever bought and sold within a short time frame? Is it costly & stressful?

SueGeneris Wed 08-Jul-15 17:20:25

This happened to me 5.5 years ago and I have to say that I still miss my old area and old friends, although practically the 'new' area works for us and I have friends here now. For me I didn't think the move through at the time. It's harder because technically we could return and it is still a bone of contention between DH and I.

I am trying to make the best of it because everyone else is happy but I don't think I will ever feel really settled.

I sympathise!

SueGeneris Wed 08-Jul-15 17:22:39

If I could go back a few years when it would have been easier for us to go back, I would do it and not worry about the cost.

Not being settled has been a very big deal for me. I work from home and being lonely in this location has made me quite depressed.

But that's just my experience.

IUseAnyName Wed 08-Jul-15 17:29:03

Thanks sue.

I do worry as although my ds had friends in the old area, he is only 6, so they make friends anywhere at that age and he's settled well in to his mew school, the schools are much better in this area!
We would never have moved had it not been for the schools.
I know that, given the chance, I would move back in a heartbeat.... But not sure about dh, haven't really opened up to him about this. He's been so stressed about the move and the increase in mortgage that I think he'll find it a massive kick in the teeth if I tell him we should move back!

IvanOsokin Wed 08-Jul-15 17:29:09

This happened to me when we moved from the city centre to a more child-friendly area further out (London). We couldn't have gone back as we went from HA rental to buying and the area we left is very sought after.

I missed being in town badly for about a year but slowly grew to love where we are now. More than 20 years on, it has felt like home for a long, long time.

Why not give it a bit more time to see whether you settle. Hopefully you'll feel better about it in a few months' time and if you don't, you can start thinking about your options. I do feel for you, as it's hard to leave somewhere you love.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Wed 08-Jul-15 17:34:49

I've done a major relocation twice and I think what you are feeling is a normal part of the process. Ime, at first it's all new and exciting. After a bit that wears off and then you have to put in the spadework to create your new life. It also takes time to make proper friends - that can leave you feeling a bit rootless.

So I'd say this is normal. Not the house at all smile

CityDweller Wed 08-Jul-15 17:51:21

Agree that it's an area issue, not a house one. I'd stick it out for at least a year and see how it goes.

If you still hate it then sell up and accept the cost or you could rent it out. Meanwhile I'd talk to your DH about how you feel - don't keep it bottled in. Who knows, maybe he has some doubts himself...

seaoflove Wed 08-Jul-15 17:54:46

There was a rat infestation in the loft. Instant regret.

Stuck it out for four years then sold up.

IUseAnyName Wed 08-Jul-15 17:55:51

Yeah I know it's an area issue, but was wondering how people cope when they have purhased a house. I mean, it's not as easy as putting notice in on rental and just moving.
Have people sold their house after only a short period in it?.... How did it go? Was it okay?

CityDweller Wed 08-Jul-15 21:29:05

I guess ours was relatively short - we put it on market 13 months after we moved in and completed on the sale about four months after that.

It actually went fine - we'd done a lot of work on it to make it much more appealing (new kitchen, floors, painted, etc) and I guess luckily for us there was a bit of a boom going on in our area at the time we put it on, so we sold it for significantly more than we bought it for to a cash buyer, which covered what we'd put into doing it up, our moving costs, both sets of stamp duty, etc. However, by that point we were so miserable that we would happily have taken a financial hit to move. We just wanted shot of the place.

We did have to answer some questions from the buyers as to why we were selling it so soon. We had a legitimate reason (I'd started a new job about a month after we moved in and my new commute was a nightmare). I guess as your reason for wanting to move isn't anything to do with the house, it wouldn't necessarily impede the sale.

CityDweller Wed 08-Jul-15 21:30:39

Your other option, which I mentioned above, is to rent your house out. Many lenders will give a 'permission to let' on a temporary (or even permanent) basis which allows you to pay a small fee and lets you rent out your property under the terms of your current mortgage (i.e you don't have to switch to a buy-to-let). Our lender does this, but you have to have lived in the property for a certain period of time before they'll give you one.

RaphaellaTheSpanishWaterDog Wed 08-Jul-15 21:56:46

We're on our third major relocation (each about 150 miles from our previous home) and each time we regretted'd think we'd have learned by now!

First time coincided with DS going off to uni and we had already come to the conclusion that our 3500 sq ft house in a south coast city was too big for just two of us, plus we had a huge mortgage that we wanted to pay off and buy our next house with cash. DH left his office-based job of ten years to go self-employed, working from home, so that was also a big change and I think it was all too much to handle at once.

The new (semi-rural) area was shit and we failed to research it beforehand. It was very rough and full of retirees whose sole hobbies were karaoke and bingo! As the house was a project and prices were falling (2007) we felt we had no choice but to do the work and hope we could recoup our investment. Took three years and we sold at a stonking loss, but were overjoyed to get the hell out.

From there we moved to the countryside and as there was very little available in our price range we ended up buying a thatched house which I hated. It was an even bigger project than the previous place - literally a falling down, unmortgageable wreck - but we were determined to make it work. The house - which was fab by the time we'd finished it three years later - was on a noisy A-road and never felt like home. While we lived there both our dads died having both suffered from vascular dementia - don't think this helped our mindset.....

Last December we sold up again (made a small profit) and moved to a village right on the edge of a city. The house and garden are perfect (and would be many people's idea of a dream home) but we're now up in the midlands and neither of us likes it here. Since moving in my mum died and all our family are over 150 miles away - we feel very isolated. This house needs less work, but as soon as it's finished (hopefully next spring) we'll be moving again. Property prices are flatlining here so guess another loss is on the cards!

Tbh we're both getting totally pissed off with it now and are convinced the right place for us doesn't exist.....

OP, hope it works out for you xxx

Airfixkitwidow Wed 08-Jul-15 22:31:22

We put our last house on the market 7 months after moving in. We went on holiday 6 months after moving in and decided to cut our losses sell and go back to our original area. We priced low, sold to first viewers, and went into rented so it could all happen quickly. We have lost a fair bit of money but it was worth it. We've bought again now, smaller house to reflect the loss. Sometimes I wish it had never happened. Other days I'm more phlegmatic about it as it has definitely made me appreciate what I have now. It was incredibly stressful though so only do it if you are absolutely sure.

RaphaellaTheSpanishWaterDog. We did our cross country moves at the same time and your road train trundled across country at the same time as our returning one. I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out for you but I'm quite sure the right home is out there somewhere...

allithwaite Thu 09-Jul-15 19:06:36

I think to be fair you need to give it at least a chance to make friends and settle in, also going back won't neccessiarly be the same so beware.

In my life as a kid and now we've done some massive moves some have worked others not so, worst was as a kid my mum moving back to her childhood area biggest mistake of her life, everyone had moved on, was a shitty area and even though close to her family no support.

as an adult i've done two big moves one, both took time to settle in get new friends/social life - currently 13 years in our current location and love it, but didn't for the first year or two....

so my advice is give it some more time and the grass may not be as green as you think if you move back..

RaphaellaTheSpanishWaterDog Thu 09-Jul-15 20:46:47

Thanks Airfixkitwidow! I'm dreading the prospect of another move and maybe getting it wrong again, but it has to come right at some stage.....Pleased to hear it turned out well for you once you'd moved back again xxx

throwingpebbles Thu 09-Jul-15 20:50:11

I did, for a month or two I barely slept I regretted it so much, for complicated reasons. And then one day I noticed little pink flowers all over the front hedge, and then all the garden hedges erupted into flowers, and I got to know my lovely neighbours and now I don't think I would leave even if I won the lottery!

So my message is, be patient, don't panic, start making the most of it and you might start to remember all the reasons you chose it, or even discover new and different reasons to love it

IUseAnyName Fri 10-Jul-15 07:28:50

Thanks everyone smile

Rhere are elementd that I really miss from my old location, mainly friends. It would just be nice to find likeminded people who become good friends rather than people I meet up with every now and then.... I don't know how to initiate that!
I look at my kids and know that we can't move back to the exact area due to schooling and there are just no future prospects there for them.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Fri 10-Jul-15 09:21:03

It takes time to make new friends. I'm sure you didn't acquire your old friends instantly? I think you just have to get out there and meet as many people as you can. Get both you and your kids signed up for some activities, that's a great way to get to know people. Be proactive - if you meet someone and quite like them, suggest a coffee or a drink sometime. Use fb.

It's almost a year since we moved and I suddenly feel much more settled. Still have a way to go to though. I also felt pretty low just after our old house sold - it makes it all very definite doesn't it?

I can't stress enough how much this is a normal part of the process - it really doesn't mean you've done the wrong thing. I felt the same after our previous move but then felt heartbroken at the thought of leaving a few years later. Hang on in there!

marmaladegranny Fri 10-Jul-15 09:44:22

It's a year since I moved to this area and much of it has been hard as I am on my own. I sorted out a couple of groups to join - I have a loose interest in them but have purely joined to meet people with a common interest. You mentioned you have a dog - do a regular walk at the same time of day and say 'Good Morning, nice day" or whatever, to anyone you have seen before; dog walkers are a friendly bunch! Also find out the areas where the locals take their dogs - local parks, commons etc, and visit there; gradually you will begin to recognise people.
Friendship takes a time to develop but with DC in school you are bound to meet other parents - make yourself popular and offer to help at school events.
Finally make a list of all the positives of the new house & area - you may need to really think to find them but they will be there - and then concentrate on them.
For me I had to make it work as it is a 'forever' move and I knew that when I moved - there is no way I could afford to go back.

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