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How to learn to be happy at home even if you don't love it?

(8 Posts)
meadowquark Sun 03-May-15 10:36:35

I think I have made a mistake. Twice! Firstly bought and old house in a rough(ish) city area, the house was period and nice but a bit too much of work for me to make it perfect and lacked one bedroom. I sold it, could not afford the extra bedroom in the same area, so bought 2 miles away to a dull but nice suburb a 1960s townhouse. The main positives are an excellent secondary (DC 7 and 4), the extra bedroom, low maintenance (presumably).

However, I cannot put my finger on it, but I don't love it. I didn't love my previous house too. I would love a 1930s house in good condition, somewhere in between my old and new area, but cannot afford it now, and not sure, if ever (unless I go into difficult affair of selling, renting, buying a doer-upper, stretching mortgage to the max... not sure if I am ready). O I could possibly move back to an old area and buy an even smaller house than I had previously.

I do not regret selling the previous house (I think...) as I clearly did not settle for the 5 years I lived there, but the grass is not that green here, or I am feeling out of place.

If I last 3 years, at least DC1's secondary will be sorted and DC2 hopefully will follow.
But how to last in the house that I don't love though it is nothing in particular wrong?

greenfolder Sun 03-May-15 11:16:00

well, its true that you can't make your heart leap at you drive up to it. but you can make it whatever you want inside. Many years ago- more than 20- i went to see someone (as part of my job). Outside, the house was a typical 1960s council house. Inside it was a country cottage, including half stable door, realistic beams, authentic furniture, the lot. It was actually quite breath taking. The lady who lived there was 40 ish and said that she always dreamed of living in a cottage and cut her cloth accordingly- would never be able to afford a country cottage but she was living in one the moment she shut the door!

Jackieharris Sun 03-May-15 11:27:42

Stop watching property shows for a start grin

I don't think there ever such a thing as the prefect house. Everyone always wants what's just out their reach.

0ldmum Sun 03-May-15 11:30:21

I don't love our house, but I like it and I have a really nice life! As the above poster says you can do amazing things with interiors, which would presumably increase the desirability so when your DC's finish school would make it easy to sell to get your dream house.
I would keep an eye on the market but you would lose a lot of money through moving costs.

mandy214 Sun 03-May-15 14:55:32

Is it the house or the life you live in the house? I absolutely love my house, not because the house itself makes my heart sing - I doubt the peach bathroom suite which we've been meaning to replace for 5 years or the ridiculously small downstairs loo which is smaller than a wardrobe would make anyone's heart sing - but we have fab neighbours, in a lively village etc. The house gives us that.

It sounds as if you're unsatisfied with the lifestyle you have due to the house, rather than disliking the house itself? I think that's more difficult to change bit if you can change that in 3 years time then you'll be surprised at how quickly time will pass.

hiccupgirl Sun 03-May-15 15:30:13

Can you change the inside to reflect what you'd love in your perfect house?

We have a 60s terrace and while it's not the prettiest house from the outside or the Victorian terrace I'd love to have, we have amazing neighbours, live close to a great school for DS and can walk into town easily. Inside we are gradually making it as we want and learning to love it for what it is rather than what it can't be. Maybe in the distance future I will get the perfect house but for now this one is right for us.

meadowquark Mon 04-May-15 06:33:36

It may be the lifestyle too. It is safe, quite and clean here, and probably idyllic for my children to grow up, but it is also dull, suburban and needs car on daily basis. Also I am afraid that the house may not hold value as well as a period house. I thought I could do it for the sake of my children but not so sure anymore (separating from my H so wanted safe environment and good role models for my boys, rather than rough).
True that 3 years will probably pass quicker than I think. But I am not sure if it is worth it.

nickEcave Mon 04-May-15 17:01:22

I find it extraordinary how people on these threads are able to move around every couple of years. We have just sold the house we've been in for 10 years and are buying a bigger house that we will live in for at least the next 15 years until our children grow up. Stamp duty, estate agent fees, solicitors, surveys and removal costs are going to be around £27K. That is an absolutely vast sum of money. We absolutely could not afford to move again in a couple of years if we just because we didn't "love" the house. In my experience all house purchases involve some comprise unless you have a huge budget.

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