Feeling overwhelmed by the new house

[SpecialJK]

We moved a couple of weeks ago, and normally it takes me a while to adjust and feel ok, but it seems to be getting worse. It's the usual stuff of what you don't see when you view the place, and in my experience, NEVER also gets picked up by the survey. We had wanted to put an extension in the back to create a kitchen/diner, but the stuff that's going to need done before that now keeps mounting and we're probably going to have to put it on hold. I think we're going to have to get the whole central heating system replaced, there's obviously a leaking pipe in the kitchen wall as I can see a damp patch. There's cracks EVERYWHERE!! I've asked our surveyor to come back to see next week, as although he does refer to them in the survey and says they're not a problem, i'm just not happy with diagonal cracks everywhere above window frames and doors, as well as finding the previous owner had masking taped, then painted over a crack that goes along the whole ceiling (then meets with the diagonal window cracks). There's a not so subtle piece of carpet in the hall that's been put over a bit that's completely worn away, so that's a new hall carpet.... the list goes on. I always expect this to some extent, I had it in my last house and over 3 years fixed everything. TBH I'm at wonderment at people that just seem to take no care and attention to their property. I just couldn't live like that.

[hinkyhonk]

I totally felt the same when i moved into our place and it has got a lot better over the last couple of weeks. I think the worst thing is that I moved from a house we spent five years getting into shape and then we just went back to square one.

Its got better as over the last month we've prioritised what needs doing and made some progress to get small things done, changing locks, mending the shower which suddenly sprung a leak, fixing loo seats and so on. generally i think i've just accepted that its going to take a long while to get the house sorted but it is basically mostly water tight and doesn't need drastic amounts of structural work to it so everything is a sliding scale of cosmetic broadly (apart from the rotting windows and the roof...)

anyway i'd say get your surveyor over, take a deep breath and make a list of what needs doing and start from the top. do a task and complete it rather than dotting around doing a bit here and there (i'm really bad for this) and try to write down all the reasons that made you move there in the first place. it will be fine and it will be amazing although not for a couple of years. i found realising this and accepting made me feel much better.

that said i need to put some paint on some walls and change something to really feel like its mine

[SpecialJK]

Good advice hinkyhonk. I'm bad at 'tinkering' too then finding every room has something done to it, but nothing is finished

[hinkyhonk]

i'd do well to actually take my own advice though - am sure i'll swing back into a panic in a week or so and will need someone else to talk me down!

[badkitty]

Maybe we need a support thread - we are in the same position, moved into somewhere where we didn't think much needed doing initially (not wanting to have much to do as we have 3 DC under 5 including 6 wk old DD!) but we just discover something that has been shoddily done (or deliberately concealed like your masking taped crack) around every corner and it is really getting me down! I am fed up of having to get workmen round to fix things which we should t need to - it is a relatively recently renovated/extended house so would have expected things to be done to a certain standard but instead it has all been totally bodged. So for instance just this week I have had electricians here for a whole day fixing stuff ( and coming back next week), have a plumber round tomorrow to deal with various bathroom issues, and have a guy coming round to quote for guttering, have had to call a groundswork bloke re filling in massive hole in the garden, the list just goes on and I seem to be noticing more things all the time. Am starting to hate the place at the moment :( It could/should be a great house but is going to cost us a fortune on this sort of boring rubbish when I wanted to be just doing fun stuff like decorating/curtains/furniture etc - no chance of affording anything like that at the moment.

[Treehousegarden]

The cracks sound like a bit of a worry. My first job would be to get a structural engineer out to assess them. Do you have any problems with sticky doors or windows that don't shut properly?

[UnicornsPooGlitter]

Oh, I feel completely overwhelmed with our new house too. We had a full structural survey and thought that the house was lovely.

Then we moved and began discovering all of the rubbish DIY jobs . We just don't know where to start, everything feels dependent on everything else.

[pootlebug]

Is it feasible to sort one room (living room?) so that when it all get you down you can retreat there a bit and feel it is comfortable/done/yours? That's what we did when we moved into a place that needed a lot of work. 4 years down the line there are still some significant jobs to do, but we gradually have more areas of the house that feel like 'ours' iyswim.

[SpecialJK]

Definitely need a support thread... Mumsnetters with Moneypits the surveyor is coming on Wednesday to go through my concerns. I'm wondering if it's the dry July we've had? There are huge trees near us, hedges everywhere and we are on clay ground. I'd just spent 3 years fixing my last house where the previous owner had DIY bodged everything. It's just disheartening to start again isn't it? I always like to do a job properly so I couldn't live in a house where I'd masking taped everything!

Just not sure where to start. Central heating and windows both need done. Do we bite the bullet and spend money on those, and accept that it might be another 18 months/2 years before we can save for the extension? Or do we do 1 room well? I'm just not sure which room though. Might get the ensuite and our bedroom done. Thing is, everything is livable. From what I remember my old house looked worse before it got better as I got each little job done over a 2 year period then got everything painted at once.

[SpecialJK]

No problem with sticky doors treehousegarden, and the windows are all rubbish.no cracks showing in exterior of building either

[Manchesterhistorygirl]

I would get your central heating done as a matter of priority to be honest, come winter you'll be glad to have spent money on it. The windows I would do upto where you want to put your extension on.

[Aethelfleda]

Hiya! Don't worry, it Gets better... If you'd like to join in the running House DIY renovation support thread please do, you're all very welcome, whether it's big or small stuff! We're over here

oh and small diagonal cracks above doorframes/windows are often simple settlement and not concerning. Hope that helps!

[RoseFlowerFairy]

I think a support thread is a good idea, I have loads to do too.

I agree, get the heating sorted, soon all the plumbers will be busy when people start up the heating and discover their heating has broken.

Second is get the building structure looked at, surely a structural engineer is what you need?