Funny experiences in viewing houses(87 Posts)
I went to view a house last week in the corner of a recently built estate with not much space out the front. When I got out the house after the viewing I found the neighbour had blocked me in with her car - she didnt need to park there she had a double drive - whereas I had parked in front of the house i was viewing. When asked to move the car she went off on a rant about how people in that house had always parked their car somewhere else before! Feel lucky to have met her then and not after buying the house!
House turned out to be owned by the friend of a celebrity, who they were obviously very close to, so there were pictures everywhere of this character doing normal stuff, which was strangely jarring. Like, Rita off Corrie, having her Christmas dinner on the mantelpiece, there she is again on the way up the stairs, playing crazy golf with a child.
It wasn't Rita, but you get the idea.
First flat I ever bought belonged to an elderly couple that attended the same church my parents did. I'd known them for years. I worked with their youngest daughter.
Most of the place was what I'd expected, floral prints and hand crocheted doilies, pictures of the grandkids on the wall.
The master bedroom? S&M parlor with sex swings and leather and a mirror bolted to the ceiling. Sextoy chandelier. Sex. Toy. Chandelier.
For years, I had to fight the urge to giggle every time I ran into them.
I'm thinking about that chandelier, was it like those rotating kitchen implement racks, where you grab the item you want, or purely decorative? Or was the chandler in itself part of the process - like the sex swing?
I've always assumed it was just decorative. It never occurred to me it might have been, ahem, practical. But it WAS hanging from a sort of silk rope thing, so who knows? Brain bleach! Eek!
I viewed a house where one of the kitchen cupboards had a notice on it saying something like "Do not open. Rabbit in cupboard".
The tenants had found next doors pet rabbit in their garden and were keeping it there till they could return it.
I viewed another house that I was really excited about as I'd been looking for ages and it looked very promising from the outside. It was 1970/80 but turned out nothing had been done since it was built. It was a complete renovation opportunity. Worse, it was a deceased estate and was full of the owners Star Trek collection. His glasses and open novel were next to a rocking chair! It was really, really creepy.
I viewed a studio flat that was currently tenanted. The (20-something) tenant was cross-legged on the top bunk, eating some pot noodles. With his mum.
I went to view a flat on a Sunday morning as arranged. The flat stunk of fried sausages. As the owner was showing me round, he was smoking a fag and flicking it on the carpet.
Thank you dalek. Brain bleach had occurred to me too.
One house we viewed the lady's dying father was in the living room in a hospital bed hooked up to life support. She told us he was not long for this world and so she was selling the house
from under him
Another house we viewed was being sold by a religious fundamentalist and he spent the 15 minutes we were there giving us tracts about how we could be 'saved' . The walls in the kitchen were papered with bible pages. I joke you not .
Another house had feral guineapigs running about the entire property. It stank like a giant litter cage.
We looked at a house to rent where the landlady was a huge gossip, she owned a row of about 5 houses, and in the 15 minutes or so we were there she had told us the ins and outs of all the other tenants lives! "Oh his wife left him so he's a bit depressed, put lots of weight on.." Etc. Then she randomly asked me if both of my children had the same father! Bloody cheeky! This house was marketed as a three bedroom but apparently she didn't like that, and wanted us to put our baby and 7 year old in a tiny single together and use the third room as a study, which we had no need for! Declined that one.
Viewed another house where the tenants were still in situ, sitting around in their pants. Toddler wandering around with a nappy hanging down almost to his knees because it was so wet. It was a really nice house though and we said we'd take it. Agreed a date to get keys, pay deposit etc with the letting agent, then a few days before I phoned them to ask a question and they said "oh...it's not quite ready yet..tenants left a bit of a mess. Landlord says he can sort it but he needs about a month to do it. You can move in on this date." We said fine. Gave notice on current property, started arranging things to move. Then the weekend before we were due to move in we phoned to arrange a time, the letting agent said "it's going to take at least another 6 months..I suppose you want your deposit back..?" Bloody cowboys!
Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant and didn't quite meet the "funny" requirement!
FIL painted the inside of his bath black with some kind of gloss paint. It was everso flaky. Wasn't present at any viewings when he left but would have liked to have been
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