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House buying conundrum

(79 Posts)
WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 15:52:56

We sold last week & also had an offer accepted on a house we want.

Vendors estate agents been a bit weird.

I got the impression maybe the vendors were going to pull out. So I put a hold on the survey.

I got notice of a house to market so as this present house was a bit up in the air, I decided to view, just in case.

Bloody hell.

I prefer this house I have just viewed. It's much better located. It's nicer.

It's not perfect but then neither is the 1st house.

Naturally, 1st house is still definitely available.

So I'm stuck now. I'd feel bad to pull out. This house has also been on for 8 months. Also these vendors need to find somewhere.

The house I recently saw, the vendors have somewhere to go. There would be no chain really. We have cash buyers, no chain.

Would I be the worlds most horrible person if I pulled out of the 1st house?

I'd hate it to happen to me, so I'd feel terrible. And yet, this is a lot of money & where we will live, so it's a HUGE decision.


Wishiwasanheiress Wed 05-Jun-13 15:54:20

If all the family agree then yes I'd go for it.

TheReturnoftheSmartArse Wed 05-Jun-13 15:54:34

No, put yourself first. I'd feel guilty to, if I were in that position, but in this case, you and your family come first. It's just business, I'm afraid.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 15:56:36

Oh god.

I just feel so bad.

The vendors are a lovely couple.

I'm actually quite a hard faced cow normally. confused

nemno Wed 05-Jun-13 15:57:00

Pull out, without any guilt whatsoever. It would be ridiculous to commit at such an early stage to something that is wrong for you.

Bowlersarm Wed 05-Jun-13 15:57:18

You have to do what is best for you and your family.

Console yourself with the fact that if it has only been progressing for a week, the vendors won't have spent too much on their aborted sale.

mistlethrush Wed 05-Jun-13 15:57:42

Pull out sooner rather than later.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 15:59:17

Thank you all.

Doing a 2nd viewing on Saturday. So very selfishly, won't pull out till after that.

THAT is what makes me feel worse.

It's like having my cake & eating it.

But I also have to cover myself. Don't I.

Oh my god. I'm not moving. It's too hard!

Erlack Wed 05-Jun-13 16:05:51

You are really under no obligation at this stage to the first vendors. House buying is a big deal, you need to be really sure about what is right for you. I think we all sometimes forget because it can be so emotive but ultimately, it's a business transaction. smile

TerrysNo2 Wed 05-Jun-13 16:21:56

Although they will be gutted and severely pissed off, as I was when our buyer pulled out, its not a reason to go ahead with such a massive decision.

You have to do whats right for you but without making promises or leading them on too much. The thing that bugged me most when our seller pulled out was that she had outright lied to me about her intentions. You can't expect anyone to part with that much money if its not right for them but I hope we all deal with people with common decency.

FWIW I don't think you are being very unreasonable. Just make your decision asap and don't leave it 5 weeks like our buyer. Bitter, me? grin

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 16:26:23

Good god, it wouldn't be 5 weeks. That would be utterly terrible. It will be Saturday at the latest. Tomorrow if I can convince my dh.

Lavenderandroses Wed 05-Jun-13 16:39:49

We pulled out of a house sale days before exchange. We felt awful but our dream house came up and it was the one! We couldn't go through with the sale and miss out.

WhatKatyDidnt Wed 05-Jun-13 16:43:24

There is no conundrum... Go with the house you love!

IHeartKingThistle Wed 05-Jun-13 16:49:59

Our vendors pulled out after 3 MONTHS. I had to resign my teaching post by May half term, phoned their estate agent to check it was all progressing, was reassured, resigned, got a new job in the new area for September. The vendors knew this. THEN they pulled out. We were then totally tied by my new job and had to find another house in the same area. Didn't end up moving until the December. The commute with small children was not fun.

OP I think pulling out at this point would be fine!

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 16:52:09

Oh my god king thistle, no way would I do so etching like that.

I mean, if I don't pull out this weekend, I won't pull out. It's not fair.

I really like the house I saw today though. It's much better. And 30 seconds from the school gate. wink

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 16:52:27


Bloody iPad.

MultumInParvo Wed 05-Jun-13 16:57:56

What if someone else views it before you and offers??? How can you take the strain of waiting till Saturday?!!!

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 05-Jun-13 17:01:15

Look at this way - say the houses cost £250k each. Are you really going to spend £250,000 of YOUR money just to keep a couple of virtual strangers happy?

Yes, they will be disappointed but that's no reason to buy a house. If you don't go for the one you prefer you may well have resentment for the house you felt too guilty not to buy!

Spend YOUR money on the house that will make YOU & YOUR family the happiest. It is business at the end of the day, not a popularity contest.

And this said by someone whose buyers' buyer (IYSWIM) pulled out the week of exchange & one week before completion.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:01:31

I'm in the same position. Luckily the first house's estate agent and sellers have been vile. Unfortunately other people are interested in the property that is my perfect home. We're putting an offer in tomorrow. Need lots and lots of luck!

I would very much like to tell estate agent number one where he can shove is patronising, condescending, unethical advice. I do so hope I get the chance.

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 05-Jun-13 17:03:22

I'm with Multum - get that second viewing in tonight! grin

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 05-Jun-13 17:05:20

And best of luck YouKnow (unless of course you happen to me my buyer <paranoid>) grin.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 17:12:50

My husband can't view till Saturday due to his working hours.

It is a pain in the arse tbh. wink

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:16:11

Thanks Lazy!

I'm sure you're not smile our seller has done everything we've asked them not to and nothing we've asked them to.

I'm beginning to see why it's been on the market 2 years.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 17:17:36

Good luck youknow.

I guess you may have to offer asking price.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:46:24

Wire cat, i reck

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