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Should we pretend we're going to pull out?

(23 Posts)
RichInBunlyGoodness Sat 18-May-13 22:52:38

Ridiculously drawn out house purchase. Had an offer accepted at the end of November. We had real problems getting a mortgage sorted and finally got our mortgage offer through start of April. Huge relief thinking we can exchange and complete quickly as the property is vacant but then the sellers suddenly started dragging their feet.

I won't bore you with the insane details of why they are apparently pissing around over exchanging but suffice to say we are starting to get panicky. Our mortgage offer expires at the end of June and we could really do with exchanging by the 15th so that we can give notice on our flat otherwise we'll be stuck paying mortgage and rent for two months which we can ill afford.

We are desperate to get this house and worried they're basically going to bugger about and allow the offer to expire. A few people have suggested we say we're going to pull out to jolt them into action but surely this will come across as an empty threat? How can we put the pressure on to stop messing around when in reality we have no intention of pulling out?

Springforward Sat 18-May-13 22:55:05

I would only do this if I meant it, in case they called my bluff TBH.

gillywillywoo Sat 18-May-13 22:57:11

Read the subject line of this thread and thought "this should be in the conception boards!" grin

BeanoNoir Sat 18-May-13 22:59:27

I agree only do it if you mean it. Our buyers threatened to pull out and I went so far out of my way to be able to give them the completion date they wanted. I'd feel quite angry if I knew that was just an empty threat as it stressed me out so much. Are you sure they're just being difficult for no reason? It seems strange to be like this if you want to sell your house. I've realised that you can never really know your buyers/sellers position or motivation, no matter what story you're told by solicitors or estate agents.

purplewithred Sat 18-May-13 23:01:13

Start looking at other houses and ask their estate agent if they have any similar properties you can look at because you suspect the vendors are about to pull out and if they do you need a backup plan.

Erlack Sun 19-May-13 08:09:33

I'm interested in the details of why they are delaying because that might tell us if there is anything that can be done to address the situation other than the nuclear option of pulling out. It wouldn't bore me at all. smile

LIZS Sun 19-May-13 08:13:48

Need to know more about the issues, they are probably easily solved. you can go from offer to exchange in 4 weeks normally. Having dragged it out so long yourselves it seems a bit daft to make an empty threat now and you don't really have the moral high ground.

flow4 Sun 19-May-13 08:23:27

I wouldn't. From what you've said, they've been hugely patient with you, and if they think you're now either playing games or really going to pull out, they might be inclined to tell you to get lost.

And before you panic, you do know you can get mortgage offers extended quite easily, don't you...?

Fuckwittery Sun 19-May-13 08:26:08

yes,more details needed, as they've waited a VERY long time for you, we need to know what the delay on their side is now.

MisForMumNotMaid Sun 19-May-13 08:27:17

Ask the solicitors/ estate agents to convey to them the facts. If you don't exchange by x date its going to have y financial implications on you.

If that happens you may have to reconsider your position.

EeyoreIsh Sun 19-May-13 09:17:12

I once threatened to pull out of a house purchase. I was deadly serious, if we couldn't complete by a certain date we would have been homeless. They knew this but were pissing around.

I wouldn't do it again unless I was in the same situation.

It did work, but it was stressful.

financialwizard Sun 19-May-13 09:26:17

Personally I would speak with the lender and ask if you can extend the offer date, some lenders are very accomodating and will with no additional underwriting. Others will want last months bank statement/payslips to re offer.

Personally I would also be looking around again just to be safe, but that is me.

Also a point to remember is that sometimes what a vendor tells an Estate Agent and what is actually the truth is sometimes not the same, so not always the EA's fault.

sooperdooper Sun 19-May-13 09:27:12

They've waited an awful long time for you, have you asked why they're suddenly delaying? Maybe during the time they were waiting the house they wanted to buy fell through?

I thought you normally got a mortgage offer in place before putting an offer in anyway

RichInBunlyGoodness Sun 19-May-13 09:29:26

Thanks for all the responses.

The initial explaination for the delay was that they had some furniture in the house that they needed to arrange storage for. This went on for a few weeks; we started to become worried as they weren't answering calls from the estate agent/solicitor. We were summoned to see the agent yesterday who explained that apparently the furniture thing wasn't the real issue. The woman believed to be Mrs Seller was in fact just a friend of Mr Seller. She was no longer living with him in his home and had moved into the house we are in the process of buying.

Apparently Mr Seller may have found a relative willing to put Mrs S up and she is happy with this. Waiting to see whether this pans out. Obviously we can't be sure if this is all true.

My main worry is that Mrs S may decide she doesn't want to move out and basically just waste the time until the mortgage expires. The agent is portraying Mr S as elderly and possibly being taken advantage of but I have never met either of them and have no idea of the truth of this.

Its all been a bit strange from the off. Mr S had only owned the house for about 2 months before putting it back on the market (apparently an unwanted gift for a DC).

Initially we were willing to go with whatever they wanted as they'd waited for us to get our mortgage sorted. In a sense we are still willing to wait as long as we know it will definitely happen; we're just terrified of it falling through.

In terms of extending the mortgage offer we were seriously pushing to get a mortgage in the first place and since then we have been forced to put some stuff on the credit card. Our debt was the main sticking point in the first place so if the mortgage company runs another check they will almost certainly withdraw the offer (actual affordability isn't really an issue as the mortgage is only slightly more than our rent which we pay without a problem).

FloralPuddles Sun 19-May-13 09:56:30

I absolutely hate to add to any worrisome stress that you are under but please try not to obtain any more credit, be it on credit cards etc. Once a mortgage offer has been received its usually best to live like a saint until you complete, mortgage companies sometimes run another credit check before releasing funds and/or randomly audit a mortgage application before releasing funds and extra credit taken on can have consequences sad

I know lots of people like to go out and buy new furniture, kitchens 'finance' etc in anticipation of their new home but it is never a good idea to do this before the bank has given your mortgage to the solicitor ;)

I hope you do get all this sorted soon!

greenformica Sun 19-May-13 10:36:52

I would probably give them a deadline in writing - to both estate agent, both solicitors, the seller etc.

Say that the deadline the 14th of June and you will be pulling out of the sale on the 15th of June if contracts are not exchanged. Explain you have waited a very long time already.

Our last exchange took 4 months - was such a pain!

RichInBunlyGoodness Sun 19-May-13 10:55:20

FloralPuddles - yeah they're won't be anything else going on the cards. We were stuck and felt there wasn't another option. The fear that this might loose us the mortgage has been one of the many reasons I've felt like I can't breathe for the last 6 months sad

Why does house buying have to be so unbelievably stressful?

JassyRadlett Sun 19-May-13 10:57:35

Honestly, given how hugely patient they've been with you I think it'd be a bad move to start the threats now. Raise concerns about your mortgage offer and expiry date and chance it won't be extended but don't threaten to pull out.

That said, we had to in the end. Our buyers' solicitors were complete arses and took weeks and weeks over very simple stuff, came bank to certain queries after 6 weeks, and got us to the point where our seller was going to rent the house out again. So we were able to say that if we don't complete by X date, it's not going to happen and no one (incl solicitors) will get paid. But we'd been ready to go for 5 months at that point and the solicitors were being ridiculous.

flow4 Sun 19-May-13 11:00:24

Rich, at the risk of being a kill-joy, it sounds like you may be over-extending yourselves to buy this house. You say you can afford it because it's only a bit more than your rent, but have you taken account of all the extra costs of owning? You'll need buildings insurance as well as contents, and all/any repairs are your liability, not a landlord's. The actual costs can be hundreds or thousands more each year than just the mortgage. And of course, mortgage payments can go up too, and almost certainly will in the medium-to-long term, since they are at an all-time low now.

You've already got debt that has made it hard for you to get a mortgage. It would be much wiser to clear at least some of that debt before buying... And it would almost certainly mean you'd get a better mortgage deal in the end, because you'll be paying a higher fee or higher rate now because of your poor credit record.

It might turn out to be a blessing in disguise if this purchase falls through...

LIZS Sun 19-May-13 11:02:37

It is either available with vacant possession or not. If she is paying rent then it may be very difficult to get her out any time soon. ? Your solicitor should be pushing for the truth on this , not EA.

RichInBunlyGoodness Sun 19-May-13 11:04:49

I definitely take the point about them having waited for us. I guess i feel frustrated that we came under enormous pressure to get the mortgage sorted and once it was finally done i thought we were home and dry. It was supposed to be a vacant positon so we thought we'd be in really quickly once we had the offer but it hasn't worked like that.

claudedebussy Sun 19-May-13 11:08:16

actual affordability isn't really an issue as the mortgage is only slightly more than our rent which we pay without a problem

err yet you've had to spend on the credit card increasing your debt?

you can't afford this house. go for something cheaper - really - because you're going to have to pay off that credit card as well as a HIGHER amount going on rent / mortgage. doesn't matter if it's only a little bit more. you'll find that EVERYTHING is just a little bit more.

you're making a mistake over-extending yourself.

use this as an opportunity to pull out and find something you can afford.

RichInBunlyGoodness Sun 19-May-13 11:16:19

Thanks for your advice everyone. Think I will write a strongly worded email to our solicitor tomorrow not threatening to pull out but just explaining that we have serious concerns, reminding them of our dates and asking that the seller keeps us more up to date with what is happening.

We're happy with the affordability thing thought I can see what flow and claude are saying.

I'm going to sign off now because otherwise I'm just sat dwelling and really need to stop stressing! Thanks [happy]

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