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Moved back from overseas and don't know where to live.

(12 Posts)
Trebletrouble Fri 10-May-13 22:49:50

Hi, Am in a mess and hoping someone with experience can offer some wisdom! We have 3 boys (6,4,1) and were living in Australia with them but decided to return to UK, mainly financial but also missing family as well.
Husband transferred back with his job, currently working in (A) where we thought we would live. So we're house/school hunting but not inspired to live there long term. Its a beautiful city but we can just afford a (large) flat which isnt ideal for growing boys, its too cold, schools are full and it's a long way from my family. At the moment I'm staying with his parents with the children, same part of UK but 3 hours away and in the middle of nowhere. Isnt ideal but DS1 is at school so we're staying put until we get our own place organised. our choice is to live in the centre of (A) or somewhere an hours commute in the (nice but remote) countryside. Alternatively we could change tack before its too late and move to the south coast near my family, we could afford a house, ok schools, and my husband can commute to the London office until an alternative job option comes up. The commute would be around 2 hours a day door to door. We've lived in London before and loved it but won't return now due to school admissions process.
So I guess am looking for advice where you'd live - near family (grandparents, cousins) in an area you're familiar with or other end of country, shorter commute but somewhere you're not so sure about.
Any advice welcome!

It took us a long time to decide to return and we don't want to move the children around now the eldest 2 are school age.

Trebletrouble Fri 10-May-13 22:52:04

It's 2 hours commute EACH WAY.

Overberries Fri 10-May-13 22:58:09

Why don't you tell us where these options are, people will have far more advice on schools with a bit more info

crazydrunkevilhamster Fri 10-May-13 22:58:16

Id move home or as close to home as possible if that's whats going to make you happy

SavoyCabbage Fri 10-May-13 23:00:08

I'm in a similar situation as we are hoping to move back this year. We can't move with dh's job though so we could end up anywhere.

I would like to go and live in the town I grew up in near my mother, rather than where we lived before, where we have a house. That's where I feel a connection with a place and I am sick of feeling like I don't belong.

However, two hours each way seems like an enormous commute to me. You are hardly going to see him. I think that you have to make your lives 'better' than they were here to stop yourself questioning your decision. Or maybe that's just me, but that's what I am thinking.

MisForMumNotMaid Fri 10-May-13 23:00:36

We're in the process of moving to be closer to family. My parents, sister and her family all live close to each other and so we're moving to the next close. DH will have a commute to work until he finds something closer.

For us family near by means that we can have adult time, we can give the children more individual time, they can enjoy more activities, we can help out my parents as they get older.

It is a compromise. We're downsizing, but that means we'll have more cash, the house is smaller with a smaller garden but then they have playparks nearby and things in walking distance. where we are now every thing is a drive.

I don't know how much it sways me but our eldest is Autistic so we can't get access to childcare or babysitters where we live.

allaflutter Sat 11-May-13 00:39:26

Oh no, don't do 4 hrs commute a day - it's a killer, really is (trains are crowded too)if it's DAILY. Stressed DH with no time to spend with the family, that's what you'd get. Why not move half way between south coast and London (Lewes or something).

greenformica Sat 11-May-13 14:06:40

Two hours each way is a nightmare!!!

Karbea Sat 11-May-13 15:43:28

You can't commute 2hrs a day you will go insane and be constantly tired and stressed!
Whenever you move in the UK you'll be nearer the family than you are today.

SquinkiesRule Sat 11-May-13 20:15:27

2 hour commute will put a huge strain on the marriage. It's brutal.
Is there a compromise, living in the same direction of your parents but in an hour commute for him instead of 2?

specialsubject Sat 11-May-13 20:43:40

four hour commute is BONKERS. I know companies think it is reasonable but it will leave no life and cost a fortune.

while no job is permanent or guaranteed, don't set yourself up for this.

MmeLindor Sat 11-May-13 21:51:28

DH has a commute just over an hour, and he is finding it tough. 2 hours is just too much.

Could you put up with it a bit longer until your DH finds something nearer your parents? Is there a chance he could find something there?

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