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Anyone doing house rennovations? I feel really low.

(18 Posts)
Shelleylouise Wed 13-Feb-13 18:47:39

We bought our "forever house", or at least until DC have left home, 8 mths ago. It is very old and needs some renovations and cosmetics. We love the house, but ive reached saturation point! The last week has been awful and i feel really low about it. DH does long days at work in London and my full time job is basically this project and chidren. I am normally really enthusiastic, but feel i am managing it on my own with little or no help from DH. I know that he is very stressed with work, so i feel that if i ask him anything about the house he just cant seem to concentrate on it, or isnt interested.
The last week has been particularly hard with builders and electrician needing questions answered and i feel like ive got decision overload. Ive also been wading through listed building consent applications, trying to write design statements and doing the ever decreasing budget spresdsheets.
I know it will be worth it in the end and we will have a beautiful home, i just csnt see the end at the moment! All i can see at the moment is horrible decor, awful carpets and curtains, crappy bathrooms and stuff eveywhere.Just found out today that another beam needs structural support , more money, at this rate we re not going to be able to afford a kitchen to put into the lovely room we re creating!
Anybody else going through the same thing? I think maybe tomorrow i ll go and meet a friend for coffee and leave the mess behind.

FishfingersAreOK Wed 13-Feb-13 20:12:17

I am 8 months ahead of you and sitting in my lovely sitting room with beautiful oak floors and woodburning stove.

It is worth it.

The journey is a bit pants at times though - so feeling for you. I think you have the right idea though - leave it behind for a day, coffee, some you time. Walk away for a few hours. It will do you good.

And then when you come back go back to the bit of the house that you love the most/what ultimately sold it to you. Remind yourself. (Ours was the huge garden and the bay window....when I had such moments I would walk down the garden and then back into the house and stand looking through the bay. Think the builders thought I was nuts).

And an unMNetty hug.

ogredownstairs Wed 13-Feb-13 21:24:49

poor thing. I've been there, in more or less the same position - DH at work and me on maternity leave and therefore in charge of the build. I went to bed in a building site for 8 months with 2 v small dcs; I remember gritting my teeth every night and thinking 'I've just got to get through it'. It will be worth it in the long run. I think a break from it is a good idea - coffee with a friend or an afternoon somewhere clean warm and dry ( I joined a gym just so I could hang out somewhere with hot showers and clean floors!) I also found doing a blog about it really cathartic. It's great to be able to look back on too.

barebranches Wed 13-Feb-13 21:27:03

same. and on monday we had a pipe burst which flooded downstairs. sad
no kids though at least.

lamandler Wed 13-Feb-13 21:44:18

Here you go wine. I am in the middle of a renovation too, made the decision to keep renting our house while it gets done. A different type of stress there, watching our build contingency go in the pocket of our landlord! But I agree about the endless questions, but what has completely wiped me out is dealing with councils, surveyors, party walls, building regs etc. And work, and two DCs, and, and, and (breathe).

Stay strong, and I'm here for renovation rants whenever you need

wendybird77 Wed 13-Feb-13 21:47:49

I could have written your post. We bought this house in November and have had builders in since. I'm shattered, DH not interested and my parents are here for a month. I've 2 kids under three and mind another baby 2 days a week. The joiner put the door handles on unevenly on the new media cupboard today, the bathroom is completely ripped out and none of the new bathroom suite has arrived to go in, they found bats in the loft today, roof has been leaking since day we moved in and we can't seem to get a roofer to actually fix it. We are going to be so over budget it isn't funny and DH keeps helpfully pointing out we can't afford things, but doesn't offer solutions to the problems I keep having to pay to have fixed. I've also been waiting since November for delivery of my radiators - they've told me pretty much every week that they are coming in on Friday and I'll have them early next week. The one I did finally get fitted sprung a leak 2 days later, so I only had heat in that room for 2 days. I'm now waiting for one of their engineers to come and rubber stamp the replacement and then I can start the process of trying to get compensation for refitting. So I feel your pain. I am leaving my dad here to take deliveries tomorrow and I'm running off to a friend's for the afternoon. I will never do this again, but I am sure that I'll be glad I did it when it is finished.

FannyFifer Wed 13-Feb-13 21:54:58

We renovated our lovely old house last year. grin

Complete re-wire, entire heating system replaced, carpets, decor, fireplace etc etc

Luckily no structural stuff but dear god, didn't know how we were going to put house back together again.

Think having an older house is a labour of love, we will always have stuff to do. :-)

Shelleylouise Thu 14-Feb-13 08:30:30

Thankyou all so much for your overwhelming support.Its made me feel quite emotional. Im normally a strong person so think im just having a blip at the moment.
Found out theres a coffee morning on in the village this morning. Am going to try to pluck up the courage to go along as i dont really know anyone. Only thing is im sure they ll all want to know what we re doing with the house though. Ill let you know how i get on.....
Feel much better this morning, it really helps to write it down and talk about it. DH was really supportive last night, i think he actually realised how low i was feeling. DC have clubs at school tonight do i have a longer day today. Just going to take a deep breath and carry on painting my older sons attic room that the builders have finished. It is looking lovely and i think hes coming home from uni this weekend. He ll have to have a matress on tbe floor amongst the mess, but he ll cope, hes a student!
Wush we had some sunshine,instead of rain,that always makes you feel better doesnt it. X

soonbesailing Thu 14-Feb-13 13:41:24

Can I join in too.... We moved into our wreck 2 weeks ago and my head is spinning. We have an attached barn and we had planned to live in the house do the barn then get the house sorted, but the house is proving to be a bit of a nightmare, the electrics keep blowing we've only got one double socket in each room so extension cables everywhere, we keep on being plunged into darkness, and now the circuit with the washing machine on has blown and we can't find the fuse for it so my washing is stuck in the machine.
We are going to have to do a fully rewire and we are going to have to live here at the same time!
Husband is currently in London every day and my teens at school so it's just me and the dog, all very quiet and strange.
I do wonder why on earth we did this, as we had spent the last 10 years doing up the last house, it's hard going back to a house like this which is freezing and the decoration is revolting.
Think I watched too many Grand Designs smile
Glad to hear others are in the same place or one step ahead.

betterwhenthesunshines Thu 14-Feb-13 14:03:46

Yes, and I'm exhausted too. Particularly today - maybe it's somethning in the air. smile

It took nearly 2 years to get plans out of the architect so it felt like a long time before the builders even started and now there seems to be an almost daily battle where the try to present additional costs that are really part of the contract. It's exhausting. DH is very overwhelmed at work and just doesn't get involved in any of it. But it is also looking great and I just can't wait until they leave and I can get on with the job of personally decorating the entire house (love hanging wall paper grin ) ...

pachey3000 Thu 14-Feb-13 14:59:21

Me too! It's comforting to hear there are others going through this also. We bought ours in September, but due to planning delays and the weather, brickwork on extension being started today. The house is a concrete shell, front and back gardens like the Somme. We are also seeing our contingency/kitchen/bathroom fund go into the pocket of a Landlord. This last fact winds me up more than anything (apart from the planners), so today I have booked removals for end of March! Provided there is running hot water, we will be moving in.....dh, me, 2 dc....but at least they are both at school so perhaps I should count myself lucky! I have done this once before, DS1 aged 14 months, pregnant (very bad morning sickness until 6 months), full time working in London.....I seem to remember it was worth it in then end! I hope that gives you some hope, OP.

fussychica Thu 14-Feb-13 15:00:40

Totally ticked off with it too.

We have been f'ing about with bathroom plans for about 8 months since we knocked down the wall between the loo & shower room - looks awful. Hopefully the work is starting at the end of next week - just hope it doesn't take too long as it's our one & only bathroom.

Next is the kitchen - people doing plans as I type but it will be lots of cash for very little as it's tiny but very awkward space so bespoke is the only way (I thought it would be cheap & easy when we purchased the house - how wrong I was).

When they are done we can finally do the hall flooring which we had for nearly a year!

The garden is half done - need some decent weather to be able to get on with it.

When we bought the place we thought about 4months to do it (we have done renovations before and this looked easy) but we've had loads of silly issues. Hopefully it will look fab when it's done.

Never again.

fatnfrumpy Thu 14-Feb-13 16:33:24

We are three days in after picking up the keys on Monday.
We have just come home exhausted after only doing 10am till 3pm this week! Oh dear.
So far we have removed all doors and shelving, two gas fires, stripped wall paper from lounge and dining room and started removing polystrene tiles from dining room and kitchen.
So far had plumber, builder and spark round for quotes. Got surveyor and building control coming tomorrow then the real fun begins!

crazyhead Thu 14-Feb-13 18:13:17

Me too, though my OH has been brill. Currently sitting here trying to work from home covered in dust and dirt - so far since we moved here in November, we've had ceiling leak, central heating breakdown, gas leak, sink leak, toilet leak, fridge breakdown, window leak. Builders in putting in bathroom, prob cursing me (Polish so no idea) at my crappy instructions. We've still got a kitchen knockthrough, rewire and string of minor works to do.

What was I THINKING when we bought this place!? With a BABY for goodness sake! I feel for you OP.

LavenderBombshell Thu 14-Feb-13 20:41:20


Am doing something similar to you. House is "my job" - I'm happy with that but two months ago I got to the point where I was v stressed because of the relentless decision making .

All I would say to you is , there comes to a point where you can see the house - don't give up.

My DH works hard and away a lot - what I do is send him work type emails - so what do you want , bullet point , bullet point - otherwise I will decide

In the last fortnight I can suddenly see the house coming together

If you would like more support or advice then PM me

I think I have been there and can see the light . Done 2 previous houses .


ireallyhavenoidea Thu 14-Feb-13 22:12:50

Hi All

Can I join in too? We bought in November and it has been relentless since. Not helped by crap builders who have done pretty much everything wrong (think built 2 walls wonkily!!) then ranted at us when we complained and asked them to rectify. Thankfully we are a-l-m-o-s-t there, although we do still have an external wall in our bathroom with a noticible bow hmm which is gapng at the moment as they appear to have 'forgotten' to put in a row of cement under the window...

Luckily dh has done most of the project managing but he is working abroad again so I am having to pick up.

I agree about the relentlessness of decision making. Yes, it is lovely I can spec everything and have it as I want but I have increasingly found myself saying "that will do". I need to furnish it now (just curtains and taps) and am really struggling! Arggghhh ...

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 15-Feb-13 08:57:32

grin at "that will do"! Yes, at the start you agonise over every decision as it just has to be right, by the end you either just don't care as long as it's done, or you become completely obsessive over tiny details (currently getting the slate floor hearth flush with the wooden floor so no one breaks their toe in it!)

Shelleylouise Fri 15-Feb-13 10:51:03

Hi everyone, yesterday was a better day, went to the coffee morning, people were friendly and i found the community spirit i have needed. Everyone supportive about what we are doing with house, its almost the oldest in the village so everyone knows it! It was quite a good PR exercise.
Today though, woke up to find the cat had accidently been shut in the new study overnight, by DH, the only finished room complete with new carpet that has been down for 3 weeks. She s scrabbed it all up and wrecked it! Cant believe it! DCs woke up in a panic hearing me screaming at the cat. Cant look at the carpet, makes me feel sick. Just feels like one step forward and two steps back the whole time.
Now going to hibernate up in the attic room eith the radio to do some more painting. Builders are plastering awful artex ceilings in what will be new kitchen today. Kitchen plans ruined now that we ve got to have new oak beam in wall, right where dresser unit was going. Still havent got price yet.
.....but at least the sun is shining. X

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