Talk

It's business. I never know why people invest such emotion in selling a house.

Is he paying you a good price? Do you have an excellent solicitor so that if his serious horribleness bleeds into his business dealings, your solicitor can nail him to the wall?

That'd be my thought -- that his personal astiness might mean he's horrid in business too.

And I'd probably not want to find myself alone with him.

How easy to sell is your house and how far in are you? If early stages and easy to find another buyer I'd tell him to fuck off. But if it would be hard to find a new buyer or you were just about to exchange, I'd probably just do it.

Rotten situation

In this market, I don't know how easy it would be to find another buyer.
Things are really slow around here.

I know it is business, and I don't feel emotional about him being in the property after us or anything, but I do feel - I don't know... disgusted, and tainted by having anything to do with him and as I said, I am very concerned about what sort of a neighbour he will turn out to be to my neighbours.

I wish I had never found out.
I am really upset.

You can't win no matter what you do. Imight find a way to slip a few warnings to neighbours after exchange.

Yes I thought it might just be gossip but I looked it up, it was in the papers.

I wouldn't give it a second thought. As long as the house sale proceeds without issue, there is nothing else to concern yourself with.

What sort of neighbour he is won't concern you, unless you are moving next door. If your neighbours don't like him, they too have the option of moving house.

I'd sell my house to anyone if they were paying the price I wanted.

I have no idea why this is upsetting you, it may not even be true?

Even if it is, you need to sell your house and you are attching emotion to this situation unecessarily.

It's very nice that you want to save the world but you can't.

Also, what if you pull out and then find it was fabrication?

Do you have a hubby? I do, if I did this he would flip his lid.

Deary me.

Don't stop the house sale. You'll mess up things for yourself and for a number of other people too.

Even if you don't sell to him, the next buyer might have an equally bad history but you may not know anything about it.

Get on with your sale and move on.

Hmm. Maybe being pregnant is making me see this irrationally?

It is an emotional thing though to have nice neighbours and know you might (inadvertently) be inflicting them with a terrible new neighbour.

I think I would continue with the sale given that it's not just you and him in the chain and though you may feel strongly about him now, you would potentially be subjecting many other innocent people (and possibly their families) in the chain to much heartache and financial cost by pulling the plug on the deal.
Personally I would say nothing to the neighbours as they will then feel very wary of him before he's even moved in.
By saying nothing, they will take him as they find him and if he does start to make trouble, they will have to deal with it as they see fit.
If his DV is historical, he may have matured and changed his ways (not that this excuses what he has done in the past).
FWIW, many years ago we bought our house and our vendors were selling without the use of an agent.
We had done all the legal stuff with surveys, getting money in place and were about to exchange contracts when the male vendor (they were a married couple) discreetly told my husband that our then potential next door neighbour had had several convictions for stealing ladies underwear from washing lines!
We continued with our purchase.
My husband never told me for years.
We never had any trouble with our neighbour though there was no mistaking he was very odd.
My pants are far to sensible to lust over.

YANBU to feel a bit sad but DO NOT MESS UP THE CHAIN for this.

The only reasons to mess up a chain are:
you changed your mind and don't want to move
you changed your mind and don't want to buy the house you are buying
your finances fell apart

"I think the buyer is a nasty man" is not a good reason to not sell your house and therefore possibly not be able to buy the house that you want to move into.

Ok, I have been trying to analyse myself. I feel in some way that selling him my lovely house is a bit like my doing him a favour.
Which it isn't really I know. He is paying of course! But I feel like that on some level. I feel like I am bestowing a fantastic home upon an arsehole.

And I love my little old neighbours and I picture him as an unpleasant addition to their lives that they don't deserve.

Ok, so I probably am being silly.

Do you think he is a potential danger to the neighbours?

I can see why you feel the way you do.

again , dont mess up the chain (starts singing the chain in head)

I will go ahead I suppose. You are all right that it would be unfair to mess up the chain for everyone else in it.
And any individual buying your house might turn out to be the worst neighbour ever, or commit a crime, or anything, you can't know the future. I have no reason to believe he would do anything to the neighbours, no.

But, this has been a rubbish day and it made me cry! I know I will now hate handing over my keys.