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Snubbed at work for being a cash buyer

(115 Posts)
OhEmGee24 Tue 09-Oct-12 12:15:21

Am I pathetic that this bothers me? Dp and I are extremely fortunate in that both of our parents have helped us to buy our first home outright. We ourselves aren't loaded at all. I deliberately kept that detail quiet but accidentally let slip when mortgages came up in conversation. Now I'm getting cutting comments like "drinks are on you, you're rich", and "ooo bet you're gonna have diamond chandeliers in your house". We are in an area where house prices are high and we we are only young but it's made me dread going into work. :-(

nocake Tue 09-Oct-12 12:21:36

It sounds like the sort of good natured ribbing that we give, and get, at work rather than something malicious. You need to go in with your head held high and some witty retorts...

I would buy the drinks but we spent everything on the house so it's bread and water for the next 10 years.

Diamond is soooo last year...

herhonesty Tue 09-Oct-12 12:33:16

i find it hard to sympathise. not sure what sort of reaction you could have hoped for. sort of your fault for letting it slip really but agree with nocake that your only options are to a) suck it up and ignfore or b) hold head up high and take the P+ss in return. i.e. "yes, unfortunately, we've only got two acres. i dont know how we're going to cope with such a small garden"

typicalvirgo Tue 09-Oct-12 12:39:58

Oh dear... well now you know.

Never, ever,EVER talk about money with work colleagues.

It wont stop until you leave grin

But you know that now - right ?

YokoOhNo Tue 09-Oct-12 13:06:05

Let me are young, you live in an area with high house prices and your respective parents have clubbed together so as you can live mortgage free. You are very, very lucky.

Expect some resentment that you don't have to fork out anything for rent or a mortgage if you let that little detail slip. We are in a deep recession - lots of people are struggling to pay everyday bills, so I'd consider you fairly rich and entitled if you announced that you are not forking out any of your salary in housing costs.

Lulabellarama Tue 09-Oct-12 13:45:31

I'm not sure you'll get much sympathy here. Can't see why you need any.

OhEmGee24 Tue 09-Oct-12 13:47:17

I'd never be crass in the same way. I don't see why people can't just keep their own opinions to themselves and just be happy for each other.

Caerlaverock Tue 09-Oct-12 13:48:28


ShatnersBassoon Tue 09-Oct-12 13:48:32

Snubbed? Ha!

Timetoask Tue 09-Oct-12 13:48:43

can you say a "white lie" and tell people that you are buying without a mortgage, but still need to repay your parents??

Labootin Tue 09-Oct-12 13:51:09

Ha ha at boo hoo

OP tbh starting a thread with the starting question am I pathetic ? And then whingeing about a free house was never going to get you high up on the sympathy stakes.

Labootin Tue 09-Oct-12 13:52:20

Oh and I've been a cash buyer .. But I'd earned that money yay me for the bragging rights.. I should have started a thread ...

TunipTheVegemal Tue 09-Oct-12 13:55:58

I don't see why that makes OP 'entitled' Yoko. Lucky, yes, but she hasn't said anything to suggest she thinks it's only what she deserves.

OP, if this is good natured ribbing you need to suck it up. Nothing you've quoted sounds particularly unpleasant to me. If, on the other hand, it really is ill-natured bullying then they can't be very nice people anyway and you should probably be looking for another job.

My colleagues used to take the piss out of me for having an au pair but I don't think anything particularly personal was meant, any more than the pisstaking of my boss for having a second home, someone else for a designer handbag, etc.

YokoOhNo Tue 09-Oct-12 13:56:27

am I the only one who is shock that both sets of parents simply bought you a house outright, even if they have pots of money. I know parents help their offspring on to the property ladder, but don't they believe in letting you take fanancial responsibility for paying your own housing costs?

Do they still pay the credits on your mobile? grin

pinkdelight Tue 09-Oct-12 13:58:38

You just sound even more remote from reality if you expect people to be happy for you that you've leapfrogged all the shit that practically everyone else deals with for most of their lives. Perhaps you should refuse the help from your folks, try to make your own way in the world and then you might start to understand.

YokoOhNo Tue 09-Oct-12 13:58:55

turnip - just me and my prejudices, I'm afraid. If someone told me that their parents simply bought them a house outright in a smart area, when both partners were salaried, I would assume a silver spoon/birth/oral connection

AMumInScotland Tue 09-Oct-12 14:01:00

It depends if it's a bit of good-natured banter, or if you are really being bullied and "snubbed". Tbh if I knew someone in your situation, I'd probably end up making a few comments, as your disposable income must be way higher than most people's. So, yes, comments about chandeliers and it being your round.

What do you expect from people? Never to mention it again?

Floggingmolly Tue 09-Oct-12 14:01:28

I'd never be crass in the same way
You've already been crass in letting tht little detail "slip".

Viviennemary Tue 09-Oct-12 14:01:34

Oh dear. Well I can think of worse problems to have.

lljkk Tue 09-Oct-12 14:02:03

yanbu, but I have no idea how you get past the petty jealousy of others. Lesson learnt to never talk about money except with closest friends. And remember if you ever become friends with someone who is filthy rich, to set a better standard by showing no envy yourself.

There will always be people who have much less or much more than you. DH's boss sends his 3 kids to expensive private schools, does that mean we can never be friendly? I had coffee today with a friend who gets by on a family income far below the official poverty line. It's not an issue because we choose not to make it an issue.

SecondRow Tue 09-Oct-12 14:04:32

We ourselves aren't loaded at all
Sorry OP but this gives an indication of why you aren't endearing yourself to your workmates. Surely you can see that even if you are perhaps not high earners, you must have a pretty big chunk more disposable income than your workmates because you are not paying a rent or mortgage? Relatively speaking, you kind of are loaded!

crazygracieuk Tue 09-Oct-12 14:05:41

Oops... You'd have the piss taken out of you in most workplaces for that. I'm in my mid 30s and never met anyone the same age who's mortgage free.
I think you should suck it up and be known as Mortgage Free/Cash Rich or make up some sort of financial disaster (oh getting redundant? parent's needing to use money on something else?) which means that you need to get a big mortgage like the rest of us.

madwomanintheattic Tue 09-Oct-12 14:06:01

I can't even imagine why you felt the need to tell everyone at work... Letting slip something like that is asking for the ribbing. grin

Not sure why you aren't offering to buy the drinks, either. You are considerably better off than every single working person I know, will be so for the rest of your lives, and haven't lifted a finger to get that way. You should be sharing the joy. grin I don't think you grasp exactly how much your parents have done for you with this. It has completely changed your life and removed that sense of obligation and responsibility that your peer group shares. It has removed you from their reality.

You know that like begets like, anyway, just call them paupers when they start on.

OhEmGee24 Tue 09-Oct-12 14:06:43

I understand I've caused myself this issue but I don't see how different levels of wealth should account for targeting. I couldn't give a crap what anyone else's financial status is!

LonelyCloud Tue 09-Oct-12 14:08:16

Your colleagues are probably a bit jealous of your good fortune, which is understandable, given how difficult most people find it to get the money together for a house.

I agree that your only options are to suck it up or take the piss back. And try to avoid talking about your finances with your colleagues in the future.

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