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i really really cant decide what to do and DH is no help either!

(16 Posts)
RagingDull Sun 23-Sep-12 18:50:00

We live somewhere at the moment that neither myself or my DH want to be - but its convenient for both of our works (i commute 30 mins, DH can walk to his) and DD, 15, likes it (lord knows why) but she goes to a very good school and loves all her friends/boyfriend etc.

so, while i want to move, we couldnt move far, that said however there is a very nice little market town 4 miles away which is lovely and a far cry from this place,which is an ugly port town. It is still not where my heart is but my heart is in my hometown, 30 miles away, and a move there will not be possible with both our work commitments. So!

The dilemma is that we cant really afford to hugely up our mortgage and it wouldnt get us much in the market town up the road, so we had made up our minds to stay here, remortgage and take a little extra out on the mortgage to make this place really nice, both inside and out.

However, because we had an overdraft the building society wouldnt do it! I immediately converted the o/d to a loan and paid it off, with a view to reapplying in a month, which we were told to do by the rep from the building society.

but now its brought back into sharp focus the question of whether we are doing the right thing or not.....

im so confused and just going around and around in circles! DH doesnt have any views either way. We dont have a huge amount of equity in this house but we have enough to move if we really wanted to - however that said, while we have renovated and reburbished inside the out side is a bit of a mess....i was going to really go to town on the outside and have a new block paved driveway, new garage, new turf, new fencing etc and the quotes for all of that were about 13k.
We were also going to put a new bathroom in and that was going to cost about 3.5k.
when done it would have been a fantastic little house, with absolutely nothing left to do in terms of major works. while the town we are in is not particularly "nice" we live in a very nice part, near to a park, very quiet pretty little street, friendly neighbours.

what would you do? im sooooo confused and the knock back from the building society has left me wondering once again if we should just move?

tricot39 Sun 23-Sep-12 19:13:02

i would spend the money on the house and stay put. maybe look to move when dd has left home instead? short commutes and a happy dd are worth a heck of a lot. living somewhere pretty wouldnt make up for extra commuting, bigger mortgage costs and an unhappy dd - imo anyway!
tough decision so i can see why you are struggling.

CaliforniaLeaving Sun 23-Sep-12 20:09:08

I was thinking exactly the same as tricot grin

GrendelsMum Sun 23-Sep-12 20:30:15

Oh, stop faffing. You've got a lovely house, work nearly finished, quiet street, good neighbours, daughter happy, husband walks to work and you've got a short commute.

You want to pay the taxman thousands of pounds of stamp duty so that you can have your daughter moping and whining, your DH spending money on a commute, all of you in a small house, and who knows what your neighbours will be like?

RagingDull Sun 23-Sep-12 21:25:36

well when you put it like that grin

this house isnt ideal - but its a heck of a lot better than some. Its small, and the walls are paper thin, but the neighbours are fairly quiet (except when they have a party!)

DS room is literally a six foot box, but, we spent a fair bit building in furniture and making it nice and he has gone to university now anyway - i guess the time for a bigger house has passed. I am just about to redecorate it now his clutter is out of the way.

so, we should go for the remortgage then you reckon and do the rest of the work? its got a large south facing garden that at the moment is a building site - we got an extension built when we moved in, but the garden is a tip.

it could be lovely.

wendybird77 Sun 23-Sep-12 23:26:26

If it were me I would stay put and not take on any more mortgage. Can you save up and do it as you can afford to? Find a creative, inexpensive way to get the important things done? I know this wasn't your question, but if I had to convert my overdraft to a loan and I didn't have enough in savings to do the work I'd consider that I could not afford to do the work. It just seems financially risky given the falling market, etc particularly if you don't have much equity. I am fairly risk adverse and bearish on property prices though. Also, I would not move a happy family further away from school/work unless the area was dangerous. A short commute is a very lucky position to be in IMO (envy).

RagingDull Sun 23-Sep-12 23:35:43

eh.....the works required will cost 13k....that would take me about 26 years to save up for.

ill have paid my mortgage off by then mind....

wendybird77 Mon 24-Sep-12 20:17:43

Sorry, I think I've misunderstood? It would take you 26 years to save 13k - i.e. you can save £500 a year or just under £42.00 a month. If this is the case, how are you able to afford the additional mortgage (which will add more than 13k as you will pay interest on it for the duration of your mortgage term)? Obviously I know nothing about your financial situation, it just struck me as something I wouldn't do in your situation (needing to borrow the money out of your little equity in the house in a falling housing market when you want to move elsewhere). It leaves you in great danger of being in negative equity and being quite stuck in a house you don't want to be in long term. Ignore this if that isn't the case, as I said before I'm quite financially risk adverse!

RagingDull Mon 24-Sep-12 20:33:56

Sorry I was joking blush I save 50 in one account and about 250 in another. But not every month - the new mortgage wiuldcost £48 a month more. It's easily affordable bit By the time I save 13k I may have moved

Viviennemary Mon 24-Sep-12 23:11:09

I would stay put but would think twice about doing any non essential repairs or improvements to the house you are in at the moment. Your DD is 15, and she may well leave home to go to Uni in a few years. So why not put your plans of moving on hold till then. I think that's what I'd do.

Bilbobagginstummy Tue 25-Sep-12 09:50:29

Do the outside a bit at a time? New fence & new turf aren't that expensive. Paved driveway could be saved up for. New garage probably pricey, can you live with it -- or knock it down instead before you do the rest--?

RagingDull Tue 25-Sep-12 19:51:46

driveway will cost £4000

new fence, back and front and gate £868

turf £900
patio £350

Garage £2000

front garden gravelled over £500

im afraid that its going to be hard to do it a bit at a time as the first thing that needs doing is the garage - then my garden would need refencing as there would be a large gap for the dog to get out of

it would be more unsightly and depressing doing it a bit at at time as there will be a large area behind the garage which is concrete and will need breaking up, behind that is broken fencing and weeds and some old gravel,

it will also be more costly to do a bit at a time -the prices quoted are for doing it in one go so as to save on skip costs - doing it a bit at at time worked out much more expensive - i have asked and have the prices to do all the front at once and all the back separately.

the problem is that i cannot move to where i want to go anyway. i want to go home back to York but that would mean a commute from York to Rotherham everyday which would = a 70 minute commute each way to work every day, plus extra petrol costs.

so i dont know any more. i dont want to live here with the outside so embarrassingly unsightly and unusable. we cant really afford to move, plus ive looked at where we could go and there is nothing in our budget that does not require alot of work - which we wont have the spare cash for, the bathroom is leaking and the landing wall is going mouldy - so thats not an option - that needs to be done.

im a bit fed up about it all now. might hibernate and think about it all again next year. sad

FamiliesShareGerms Tue 25-Sep-12 20:02:06

If you can't move to where you would really really like to live, you may as well stay put and make it nice, then think about moving later on when a return to your home town could be on the cards (eg no school links, possibly not working). Otherwise it's just costing money in duty and fees and not getting you anything significantly better.

goldenflappy Wed 26-Sep-12 16:26:22

Come and buy my house, I'm in rotherham Xx

GrendelsMum Wed 26-Sep-12 17:39:47

DH and I were discussing this (God knows why we discuss other people's driveways in the evening, but we do!). Can you do some of this yourself, with the aid of your DH, DS, DD and any handy friends? We gravelled the front drive in our previous house, have laid turf, removed gravel / broken concrete, planted a hedge etc.

Badvoc Wed 26-Sep-12 17:45:47

Raging.
I was in your position 2 years ago.
We got the loan, made the house perfect and I was still very unhappy.
A new lawn, and driveway won't change how you feel.
We moved to my home town last dec.
Not easy, quite stressful but so much better for all of us.
I really really regret spending all that money (new boiler, some new windows, decoration, plastering ect....)
Such a waste of time and money.
At the risk of quoting the hideous Kirsty allsop, it's location, location, location.
Good luck x

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