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Advice please on leaving London !

(50 Posts)
crikeybill Wed 13-Jun-12 15:12:39

We currently live and work in South West London and have done all our lives. Dh and I ( and 3 dc ) would quite like to relocate out as frankly I am sick of it.
I have applied for quite a few jobs in the West Sussex area and have now been called back for a second interview on one I am quite optimistic about grin
Its in haywards heath.

if I am successful and get the job it looks like we are off shock. The thing is, while this is all good to talk and dream about, I havent actually the faintest idea of how to go about untangling my London life.

Is there a checklist of things I need to do to make this work ? Anyone got any ideas, hints or tips ??

And am I mad lol ??

CasperGutman Wed 13-Jun-12 15:18:22

Isn't this just the same as any other move? How does moving from Place A to Place B become fundamentally different when A=London?

Please don't think I mean this to be hostile - I'm genuinely curious as to the issues you expect to encounter!

Lurking with intent.

I think we're leaving London in the autumn <tremble>

I know lots of people will come by to point out that there is life outside London but it doesn't feel like it sometimes confused. I'm already having nightmares. and crying in Lidl blush

crikeybill Wed 13-Jun-12 15:21:07

Hhm yes I suppose I see what you mean.

I guess to me its a bigger issue as Ive only ever moved once and that was 2 streets away from the house I grew up in lol.

Yes ok, I guess your right. I just wondered as obviously I have children involved if there was some some sort of order of things I should do. I mean for example, schools first ?, then house etc. Oh i dont know.
I obviously sound very stupid. I will just get on with it thanks blush

Casper I know it sounds mental (sorry, I'm butting in: you weren't talking to me, I realise!) but it does feel different and it's really hard to explain why unless you've lived here for decades...

I think maybe because London life is so different in lots of tiny inexplicable ways. Dunno. Maybe I'll move out and think, well what was the fuss about woman grin

Crikey you don't sound stupid!

crikeybill Wed 13-Jun-12 15:25:52

Thank you jodie I feel kind of stupid, but its so lovely to know someone else knows what i mean. Leaving London does feel huge to me. That probably sounds bloody ridiculous to the millions of people living quite happily not in London.
I have managed to get to the age of 37 and only ever moved once and that was when I left home. I did that in my car lol !! I genuinelly havent a clue what to do, I mean its not like im moving down the road and the dc will stay in the same school and Im in the same job. EVERYTHING will change and I just wondered if there was a way ( time wise ) to make that go a little smoother ??

maybe I should have just said, please help me move lol

RCheshire Wed 13-Jun-12 15:28:22

I'm really confused by the question. Having lived in London for a time surely moving into/out of it is the same checklist as for anywhere else? Or are there extra tasks I'm missing?


I don't think there's any help or advice anyone can give, sadly <cheerful>

If you have to go you have to go. And crikey is quite right - the actual moving itself isn't going to be any different from any other move in all the practical details - it's sort of the emotional side of it really.

For my part I feel like London has broken my heart and I have to leave it, and in doing so will leave behind my youth and hopes and dreams, so maybe I should start a thread in 'relationships' grin

Spero Wed 13-Jun-12 15:31:21

I agree that moving from London Is very different. London is massive, it's an international city in the way no other city in this country can possibly claim to be. Of course other cities can offer exciting things, cultural opportunities etc but not on the same scale as London. That is what I really miss - every weekend was an adventure, there was always new to do and see, no planning required.

Now I can find interesting stuff to do but the range is more limited and I have to plan in advance mostly.

But what drove me out of London were the insane house prices and the horrendous difficulties in travelling around.

So i am not saying London is brilliant and not to live there is some kind of social or intellectual death, but it by virtue of the simple fact that it is the only city of its kind in the UK, leaving it IS different. I know quite a few people who would never consider leaving because they would not be able to find what the want in other cities.

RCheshire Wed 13-Jun-12 15:32:56

Ah ok, I think I get it now having read some of the other posts. I'm not sure if there's a list of all the things you need to do when moving house.I'm sure there must be plenty of examples around on the web though.

For what it's worth (having lived in London, Cheshire, Lancashire, Yorkshire and Surrey <ants clearly in pants>) apart from the big changes in terms of what you know/schools/friends etc I didn't feel there was anything different about leaving London.
In my experience, it made me appreciate it more when I went back to visit, and be glad to leave at the end of a visit!)

mistlethrush Wed 13-Jun-12 15:34:24

So - its more a question of 'how do I sort out where to live when I move given children need schooling etc' rather than 'eek I'm moving out of London the world's going to end'.... grin

I would work out how far you're going to be prepared to live away from your new job - and whether DH has any criteria (eg access to station) if he's going to continue working. Get a decent map and draw on a realistic search area for those two requirements. Look where they overlap. Find schools within those areas, work out which you might want to send your dcs to (at secondary level too if you're currently at primary stage) - phone hopeful looking schools and find out if they have places available in the right years and whether there are any geographic requirements to getting in. Work out school run logistics.

You should now have a fairly clear idea of the potential locations which might be suitable. Might you want to rent for 6 months whilst you find the right house or will you go straight to a new house?

Pickles77 Wed 13-Jun-12 15:36:09

West Sussex is lovely, I think you'll be grand grin

Spero can I be nosy and ask where you moved to (or what sort of place IYSWIM) and how long you'd been in London?

Swear to God, although the reasons for leaving are positive and will do us loads of good I am walking around in sackcloth and ashes, and when the day finally comes I am going to bawl every step of the way out of town sad

LaFataTurchina Wed 13-Jun-12 15:42:05

Hayward's Heath is lovely! Do it, do it, do it!

It's on the fast line London to Brighton line too -15 mins on the train to Brighton, 15 mins to Gatwick, and 30 minutes to Victoria.

If you have any specific Sussex questions OP then I'll be happy to have a go at answering them. e.g., which are the 'naice' villages to live in etc.

Spero Wed 13-Jun-12 15:50:05

Jodie - I moved from Brixton to Bristol and it was absolutely the right move for my daughter, she is much happier as she wasn't interested in the buzzing cultural vibes, she just wanted to be able to walk to school without tripping over someone passed out drunk or worse.

But if I had £3 million pounds and a house on Hampstead Heath I would be back in a heartbeat! But I don't, and it's a hard city to live in without alot of money I think. I like Bristol but London has my heart.

Anyone moving from London who loves it has my sympathy. It is a wrench. But sometimes you have to take a longer view.

Spero that's really helpful - but also really sad, because it confirms that it is indeed a really difficult thing. Oh, dear!

I only ever wanted to be in London. My parents and my grandparents were Londoners, my father brought me here whenever he could and took such pride in knowing how to get everyone on foot. All the books I read were set in London or had London as a major place in them, and I still can't believe that I walk around this amazing place I can't believe I am walking where SHerlock Holmes walked, or the Fossil sisters out of The Ballet Shoes grin

Oh god. I can't go. I can't. I'll stay here and be broke and tired and unfulfilled <wails>

Yep, so upset have lost the ability to compose a coherent sentence ^^

MoreBeta Wed 13-Jun-12 15:54:43

We moved out of London 11 years ago and the only piece of advice I have is make sure you dont move so far away you can't travel back easily to see friends.

We still go back fairly often for visits and occasional work - we found moving out of London was a positive but once you move out of the South East completely as we did a few years ago we really feel quite cut off.

London is an international city and the rest of the country outside the South East is a very different place. Dont get me wrong, I come from the North, its just that living in London is a different lifestyle to the rest of the country.

More we are thinking of moving precisely 1 hr 50 mins away from Liverpool St. I have been reassured by friends that they consider this to still be dinner-party travelling distance grin

I'm so sorry for the thread hijack OP. I must sound like the most disgraceful drama llama but I have literally been lying awake of a night worrying about this. And (I am going to get stoned for this, never mind flamed) REALLY worrying about making new friends what if everyone goes to dinner and talks about their new kitchen

Spero Wed 13-Jun-12 16:04:23

Jodie, I feel for you. I still get the twinges when I go back to see friends. Just have to keep putting things in perspective - I haven't had my car broken into twice in one week in Bristol and I don't miss the tube at all...

This country is so London centric though and that doesn't help because of constant media focus etc.

Heh - I almost wish I had been a victim of crime here, then at least I could look forward to the peace - but 11 years here, including in Hackney, and the worst that has happened was someone breaking into our broken, worthless, off-road car, and stealing an old heater which we had been trying to get rid of for months...

And yes this country is very London centric, maybe because London is so huge and the UK is so small.

It doesn't help telling our friends that we are thinking of moving, and reactions ranging from point-blank refusal to speak about it, as if that will make it go away, and cackling disbelief...

Spero Wed 13-Jun-12 16:07:45

Jodie, it used to take me more than an hour to go just five miles from south to north London to see friends,so1 hr50 doesn't sound so insane.

And of course it's not just the city you leave, it's your friends. Would probably be mourning London a lot less of all my friends had come to Bristol too.

Re. the Tube - the one thing keeping me going is the idea of having a little pocket handkerchief of a garden, and a city with quiet streets, so that I can have a PASHLEY in pale green (I have already chosen it grin) with a wicker basket, and I shall cycle peacefully about.

My moment of deepest loathing for London came when it took just over 2 hours to get to Hampstead Heath for a picnic, by which time I had heat rash and backache and was in such a filthy temper I could have killed everyone in sight.


I do occasionally think of persuading my pals to decamp and set up a mini Hackney elsewhere...

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