How do you know when a house is 'the one'?(9 Posts)
And if you don't have that feeling should you walk away?
Have you ever bought a house when feeling it's not 'the one', but it's good enough (aka 'settling')?
Would you buy a house you actually don't particularly like if it was in a good location and had other things that you want like a garage and a decent garden?
Have done twice as with both had seen enough other houses to know it could be how I wanted it with some work. They were both "the one" for dh who then (with first) couldn't understand it when I set about changing everything. With both there were other houses I preferred which dh couldn't even contemplate living in (no vision)! Currently in process of doing same to house number two (dh equally p***ed off at amount of change). Both times completely upfront about what would be changing. Will take years, but couldn't stand to leave it as it is. Guess one of you has to compromise. Location good. House and garden good size. Just rather unloved.
We bought a new house off plan. From day one it didn't feel like home. We ended up living there 12 years and I used to dread coming home when we'd been away.
The house we moved to felt like home when we looked round it. We have moved again (seem to move every 12 years) and despite not having a lot of the "essentials" from our wish list this house felt right when we walked into it.
After our early experience we always said we'd go by gut. We have turned down houses that were "perfect" in every way but didn't feel right when we walked in.
I think it depends on what you are compromising on... DH and I saw quite a few houses. The one we are in now DH felt it was the one straightaway but I had some reservations - kitchen a bit too small and the loft conversion wasn't as big as we had seen in other houses. BUT we saw quite a few others and quickly realised other things were more important - our garden is massive and it's position is money-can't-buy (backs onto a lovely park but very secure as there's an extra bit of someone else' garden just separating it), proximity to the local park (30 seconds). We have two active toddler boys and the space/garden/park thing was very important. There were one or two houses I would have bought over this one but they were just a little bit too much for our budget. However, I think with a bit of love and money in the next 5 years or so we could really turn our current house into our 'dream' house (i.e. could extend the kitchen without eating into our garden).
I think, after a bit of shopping around, you just know.
When we lived in London and were looking to buy, I went to a house (usual Edwardian type you see so much of in London) and loved it on sight, as did DH when went along later. We did compromise on the road - main as opposed to side street, but never regretted it. I cab still remember the utter joy of coming home that first day (I was pg and didn't do any of the removals) and sitting in OUR living room.
Coming to Oz was an eye-opener, as every house is so different, and you have to check every room for heating, sockets, etc.
I really like the house we've bought, and did from the first viewing, though DH was not keen at first, but now loves it. Oddly, it's taken a while for it to feel it's our house; perhaps after so many years in rentals.
The house I'm referring to is in a good location, has a garage and a bit of extra parking and a decent garden - all great. But I don't like the house and it would need a fair bit of work (most of which I don't think we'd get planning permission for because it would block the light of a neighbouring house). Specifically, the kitchen is too small, the master bedroom is far too small and the two bedrooms on the top floor are poky and such odd shapes that it's hard to see how you'd get much furniture in them. I think it's a no. I'm just not 'feeling it' and I don't want to settle on something so big, important and bl**dy expensive!
juneau If the bits that bother you can't be fixed, I wouldn't touch it. Basically, you should compromise on what you can fix but don't compromise on what you can't fix. In our case, I know we can extend the kitchen if needed (next door neighbour has already extended). And that we can knock through the first and second reception rooms eventually. And nothing we want to fix needs extensive building words. And the position of the house (in terms of proximity to park etc) cannot be beaten. Keep looking, you will find something else! Good luck!
You've used "too small", "far too small", "pokey" and "odd shapes" to describe four of the rooms.
There's compromise and there's compromise, this house sounds like a nightmare: press on and find another.
We bought our current house with head not heart 3 and a half years ago.
It offers more space than we needed and on paper ticks every box we had and a couple more. I convinced myself I'd get the warm glow feeling once we started to put our stamp on it.
It has been back on market since october. We will end up losing a bare minimum of 20 grand if you factor in what we have spent so it has been an expensive mistake I won't repeat. Next time I would rent until right house came along rather than jump in feet first with a house I didn't really like.
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