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I have the house moving fear

(30 Posts)
Lazylion Sat 17-Jul-10 20:04:16

I'm moving on Wednesday and I have a constant refrain of 'Oh God what have I done' going through my head. Current house is a 3 bed 1930s detatched on the edge of a city (so city problems) next to a huge park. New house is a 1960s 4 bed (small rooms, few features)in a small and pretty town with good schools. I'm doing the move for the schools and the safer environment for my dc.

I have never lived out of a city, I love the huge park next to current house, I am scared that I have made a horrible mistake and that I will be miserable in the new place. Is this normal? How long did you take to adjust to somewhere new?

mintyfresh Sat 17-Jul-10 21:11:35

We moved out of the city to a small village a few years ago purely for the kids benefit really. It is an adjustment and I still find the claustrophobia of village life a bit much sometimes but wouldn't go back to the city for anything!!

Good luck with the move - sounds like a good move to me smile

ReshapeWhileDamp Sun 18-Jul-10 11:56:22

I moved out of a city (Reading - does that count as a city? grin) into a large village near a small market town and we never looked back. Lots more open space, shopping is less combative, nicer for children, etc.

(We are about to move from our nice large village to a better house in a smaller village - better to draw a veil over that because I have the wobblies about that move now!)

cathbath Sun 18-Jul-10 22:46:39

We're moving on Tuesday and I'm feeling this horrible fear too... even though I really want to move!

We are moving from the city to a small town a few miles away with better schools. The new house is also a 1960s 4-bed, which has loads of potential, but needs a lot of work. It's a much nicer area for the DCs though so it's going to be so worth it.

It's just all so unsettling... I just need to get the stress of the move over I guess.

Hope your move goes well!

poppy20 Mon 19-Jul-10 08:38:42

I have moved last week and to be honest feel unsettled in my new house at the moment.

Have moved from a 3 bed modernish house in an ok area to a rented brand new town house for 6 months and finally to a 4 bed detached in a nice area....but the house needs so much doing to it. We were in our last house for 16 years so it feels very different. The amount of work to do to the house seems I feel tired and overwhelmed at the moment.

A friend of mine said she didn't sleep for 3 weeks when she moved in to her last house and she constantly thought she had made a wrong decision. She has been there 25 years and loves it!!! so we will settle eventually

Lazylion Mon 19-Jul-10 10:46:14

We are renting for a couple of months too Poppy, then to a house that sounds very much like yours cathbath. The rented house is round the corner from the one we are buyng, I was at the rented house moving stuff yesterday and I just felt so anxious and wrong about the whole thing.
The one we are buying (1960s 4 bed) is a mess and so very different to our pretty 1930s house. My dh doesn't understand my anxiety, but then he doesn't spend all day in the house (I work from home too).
Thanks minty and reshape for your positive comments - nice to know.

BeenBeta Mon 19-Jul-10 11:17:26

Its one of those things that seems worse before you do it and the more you do it the easier it gets. It is understandable to feel anxious but there are lots of positives there. At the moment you fear the negatives that might be but the moment you get there the positive reality will overcome that.

Moved from a remote farm, to centre of pretty town to central London, back to pretty town centre and then back to country and then edge of pretty town and next year centre of large city again all in the space of 25 years. Almost feel I cant bear to be in one place more than a few years now.

bowbluebell Mon 19-Jul-10 11:44:52

I'm with you on the housemoving fear too. We are moving from a tiny cottage in a tiny village (me and DD and DH as a weekend DAD) and a flat in central London (me and DH,when I'm working in London) to a large village that we can all commute from.

I'm going to miss my little cottage and my friends (which we will rent out) so much and our cool flat. At the moment, all we can afford (looking to get a tiny mortgage, so I can afford lots of maternity leave, and save for a bigger place) is a pretty ordinary 1960s-80s family house. It all feels like a scary compromise and lots of camping out and upheavel. I'm not good with upheavel and feel that I have done way too much of it through my 20's and early 30's (three countries, six cities, 12 houses and counting!)

I know it's for the best, but this feels like such as huge change, and I know that we have to go through with it as our flat sale is imminent. DH and I have never actually combined our stuff... we've always had our own houses!

Sorry to hijack your thread. But I hope you feel better knowing that other people are feeling wibbly too! It'll be fine in the end, I'm sure!

ReshapeWhileDamp Mon 19-Jul-10 15:41:18

I think everyone goes wibbly, to say the least, when they move. It's such an expensive decision to make, but it's tied up with emotions in a way that a new car purchase never is. I'm feeling decidedly wibblier today - went for a walk to get some groceries through our village and broke down at the sight of the village ducks on the brook! sadgrin They're so much a part of DS's life here that we take for granted - he loves walking down to see if they're around - and as far as I know, there's no water for ducks in the village we're planning on moving to.

I mean, you can't throw over a house sale for the sake of some ducks, can you? But it feels like the little things we'd miss at the moment. Well, those, and the convenience of being able to walk down and buy most things we need.

Lazylion Mon 19-Jul-10 17:46:06

I know what you mean reshape, I have avoided the park recently as I'm requently walking around with tears in my eyes. It is the history of the place when you bring up your children there. All three of mine were brought home as newborns to this house and my memories of them are all tied up in the house & local park. I have also learned to cope with a stupidly hectic life here and haven't a clue how to do that in a different place.
I'm with you on the compromise and upheaval too bowbluebell. I'll be moving twice and the house we will be buying is no stunner, but hugely expensive for what it is because of the local schools. Good reasons for your compromise though - lots of maternity leave would be a joy.
Tonight I'm packing with a sick feeling in my stomach. I will think of your breezy approach to moving BeenBeta.

minko Mon 19-Jul-10 19:09:20

Oh, I'm sooo happy to have found this thread. We are moving on Friday and I am a nervous wreck. I just feel exhausted from all the stuff I have to organise.

Oh and I've completely forgotten why we're doing it. Our neighbours came round last night and we got really drunk and they are so lovely. And everyone at DD's school is being really nice. And I'm really going to miss my best mate, though we are only 15 miles away... And I am getting so sentimental about everything. Even the stuff that annoyed me about the place before. Glad to hear this is seemingly normal.

It's the house where our children were babies and I think that'll always be special. Shame the schools round here are no good - that's why we're moving. The new town is lovely too... I hope...

poppy20 Mon 19-Jul-10 19:25:53

I like this thread...glad it's not only me!

I have been in my new house one week and it doesn't feel like mine at all yet. I feel like I am on holiday and will be going home in a week!

It's funny how you get so attached to a house but it's the memories - especially bringing up children in a house. I am missing all sorts of things but most of all the familiarity of life! My DH doesn't really understand he just wants to get on with DIY but its taking me longer to adjust. It's so tiring too!

Moving house is a big stress so I suppose we need to be kind to ourselves and open a big bottle of wine and chocolate to go with it!

Lazylion Mon 19-Jul-10 21:58:04

I had to check your profile page to see if you were my buyers minko. They move in on Friday.
It is bloody hard isn't it? My ds playgroup have organised a goodbye ceremony on the day we move - just what I needed! They will have to prise my fingers off the door handle.
I don't know why anyone gave me the responsibilty of deciding where and how my family should live; I am clearly not up to it.
Wine sounds good poppy, I shall bear that in mind to get me through the first week. It will all be lovely in the end for all of us I hope, just getting to that lovely bit is painful.

minko Tue 20-Jul-10 18:31:58

Hi to all wibbly movers. Hope it's all going well. Our removal company start packing tomorrow morning. Normal life ends here really.

I am exhausted... The thought of all the work ahead of us is scarey...

Lazylion Tue 20-Jul-10 22:21:13

Hi minko, how lovely to have them packing for you. I have one more essay to mark and then I'm packing the garage. We move tomorrow and I won't have internet for a couple of weeks (or friends / park/ playgroup / cafe / buses). ARghhhhh.
Good luck to all of you, see you out the other side.

minko Mon 26-Jul-10 18:10:56

Hi - how are we all??

Well, we've done it and have arrived on the other side. It's all a bit weird and DS keeps saying he wants to go home to our 'proper house', but at least we can all relax a bit now. And now the TV and broadband are working it feels more like home!

I cried my eyes out on the last day at DD's school, that was the worst bit about leaving. She was fine though, left school without a backward glance! She's been playing at the new neighbours house today and seems very happy here.

So, how are the rest of the movers fairing??

Lazylion Thu 29-Jul-10 19:05:14

Not as well as you minko. I have had a few shaky days and as soon as the broadband got connected I was on rightmove looking at houses near my previous one! My dc keep asking to go home too.
We are so far from civilisation here (my version of it), it takes a lot of getting used to. I took my ds to a holiday club today and was expected to sing hymns (have never done that before), my poor ds looked as bewildered as I felt. On the upside I found a cafe with decent coffee so things are not all bad!
This has been the most traumatic bit of the whole selling & moving process for me, I hope it passes quickly.

Pisky Fri 30-Jul-10 10:19:43

I've got the wibblys (and DH too) and we haven't even put the house on the market yet!

DH & I grew up in the middle of nowhere, both on farms, and don't have rose tinted glasses about what it was like, particularly as teenagers.

We are now living in a city and the craving to return to the countryside is growing ever stronger as the kids grow up. Bringing up kids in the city scares us - schools are either OK, but we can't afford to live in the catchment, or not great. DD starts junior school in sept, and DS is a couple of year younger so secondary choices are looming.

Dh currently commutes 1+ hours drive each way and we have found what looks like a lovely rural area around the same commute (slightly less) in the opposite direct where we could afford a much bigger house, with importantly for us, a much bigger garden (& space for chickens, veg etc & children to roam).

But how can you really tell what an area is like until you live there? We've stayed nearby for holidays previously and are going there camping for a week near the end of the holidays to suss it out more but its scary! shock

It doesn't help that I've been trying to build up my own business locally which does bring in some extra income, and this would have to start all over again in a new place (and might or might not work).

How on earth do you balance the needs and wants and everything else for four different people - two of which can't really decide for themselves yet? confused

I'm worried that we'll be paralysed into the do nothing approach (again - we've been thinking about moving for 7+years already and been on the market twice...), but that becoming increasingly a not good option so we are going to have to take the plunge very soon...

hanreeoak Sat 07-Aug-10 23:02:54

We are in the process of selling our house, solicitors are sorting out the final bits and I am so scared, I have told my DH that I have changed my mind, I don't want to move.

I am so stressed about packing it all up with three children and it being the summer holidays, i'm stressed about moving and all the work that needs to be done to the new house and I keep dreaming that our house falls apart before we move and that we have to re-build it for the new people as well as pack!!!!! Mad I know, I don't know if I have genuinely changed my mind about moving or if its just the stress of it all.

southlundon Thu 10-Mar-11 13:32:00

Hi all - I know that this is an old thread but I wanted to find out how everyone was now in their new homes. Reading the posts above were like a story and I need to know the end!

I'm in a similar situation whereby (due to DH's redundancy, thanks Government) we're due to move from SE London 4 bed 30s terraced house, surrounded by parks, commuting into London, good primary schools etc in the next few weeks (as long as I don't jinx it all by posting on here) to a village in the Ribble Valley, 30 mins from nearest city Preston, renting a 4 bed house and then hopefully buying something, possibly a house that needs work, working from home with meetings a couple of times a month back in London, but excellent schools, open space, lovely cafe in the village etc etc. I'm sure my 2yo will be fine and we're moving nearer to my husband's family but 250 miles away from mine.

If any of you on are MN still, please update me and provide me with some reassurance!

poppy20 Sat 12-Mar-11 17:40:50

Hi southlondon

Came across this thread today and forget I had commented on it!

It's 8 months since we moved now and I am settling! I have not done a total area move though so I am familiar with shops and have friends/family etc

I still get frustrated with the house at times as it needs a lot doing to it and it is taking ages but meeting my neighbours at Christmas really helped and as we decorate putting our own stamp on things have made me feel like it's my house.

Give youself time..I thought I would love my new house immediatley but is has taken time....but I am settling.
Hope it goes well for you

princesscupcakemummyb Sun 17-Aug-14 22:30:25

eek i also have the moving nerves old thread but still!! confused

Vanessa139 Sat 10-Oct-15 12:30:24

Moving this Monday in with my mother until our house is ready really nervous one minute excited next scared and crying lived here for 16 years my son grew up here all the stress of estate agents solicitors and packing but know if I do not do it now I never will and then will regret it I years to come I am a anxious person anyway we are moving forms large estate to a village 90 miles away not looking forward to moving in with parents and worried when u move I will be isolated has anyone else felt like this

AgentProvocateur Sat 10-Oct-15 12:35:16

I moved from a city to a town 20 years ago for all the usual reasons. It was great until the DC got to about 14, after which they spent all their time in the city. They both live in different parts of the city for uni, and DH and I are considering whether to move back to the city too.

Sunbeam61 Tue 05-Sep-17 15:01:30

I just found this thread and I'd love to know how you all got on since your house moving anxieties. I'm thinking of moving from London in a house we've been in 26 years and raised our kids, to Cornwall where we were from originally. Terrifying. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences

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