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Children being groomed on Internet

(27 Posts)
RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:22:44




Around 12 noon

Warnings on how children are groomed in chat rooms {I think}

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:25:30

Actually if they see us on mumsnet {chat room}

How do we explain that it is fine for us to chat to people we know nothing about and not for them?

After all we all know that we can be lied to in chat rooms don't we?

Kayleigh Tue 01-Feb-05 11:27:16

you have a very good point there RTKangaMummy. I guess this a case of "Don't do as I do, but do as I say" parenting

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:31:18

Before you know who

I would have believed everything and everybody on here

Luckily DS doesn't go on chat rooms yet.

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:35:30

How to stop children being groomed by paedaphile?

How do we explain that people are not who they say?

Also that you should never meet anyone that you meet in chat room meet ups?????

On around 12 noon, ITV1

Surfermum Tue 01-Feb-05 11:36:33

I was rather naive too before the "you know who" incident, but mumsnet is the first site like this I've been on. I've now tried some others, but don't like them at all, I can't seem to get any warm fuzzies from the posters - yet on mumsnet I do. Mumsnet just feels different to me.

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:39:33

I havent really tried other sites but do feel warm fuzzies here too.

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:39:57

But how do we explain to children?

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:54:41

Danielle Rowland joins us with her mother to warn anyone who uses chatrooms of the danger they may be in, after she was assaulted by a paedophile who posed as a 17 year-old boy on the internet. Danielle and her mum are also joined by Will Gardner from the charity Childnet and our resident psychologist, Anjula Mutanda to discuss how to use the internet safely...

If you’re worried about your children and chatrooms, then there are plenty of people who you can talk to. Give our Phone Room a call on 0870 333 0550 who have contacts they can give to you.

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 11:55:16

on in 5 mins

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 12:11:23

They have just said that we dont know who people are on the internet and they are strangers

But I know I personally feel mumsnetters are not strangers IYSWIM.

So because of what happened with "you know who"

So can see how easy it would be to con a child.

Carameli Tue 01-Feb-05 12:17:07

if anyone is interested there is a good website that I have used in school in the past to teach internet safety. Its got lots of information on it.

There are lots of sites out there like this, but I found this quite good.

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 13:50:37


1) Position the computer in your main living space and make sure the monitor faces OUTWARD into the room so there is no secrecy. This is the single MOST valuable thing you can do for your child's health and safety online.

2) Work as a team to set your boundaries. Discuss with your child exactly what is OK and what is not OK regarding what kind of chat rooms to visit and what kinds of things to talk about. Learn to chat yourself so that you understand what it is that your child is doing If you don't know how to chat online, ask your child to teach you!

3) Stress to your child that they need to tell you if they get any weird or upsetting messages while chatting, and that you will not be angry with them nor will you ban the internet as a result. Make it clear to the child that you understand that the child cannot control what other people say to him or her and that they are not to blame if this happens.

4) Set strict time limits for internet chat use and enforce them. Internet addiction is a real thing!

5) Make it clear to your child that people in chat rooms are ALWAYS strangers, no matter how often you chat to them, and no matter how well you think you know them, and that while they may be good or bad people, they are still strangers. Your child should therefore not always believe everything people say in chat rooms.

6) Make sure your child understands that they are never to tell a person online their real name, their school, their phone number or where they live.

7) Do not permit your child to be left alone in cyberspace for long periods of time - this is when they are most vulnerable. Make sure that their chat time occurs when YOU are around in the house so that you can check in on them regularly.

8) Be sure to stress to your child that they are to behave politely and respectfully at all times while chatting online with strangers

9) Don't panic! No one can harm your child through online chat as long as your child follows your rules.

10) Educate yourself! Read SafetyEd's Parental advice resources, especially:

1) Be careful who you trust online and remember that online friends are really strangers. People online, no matter how long you have been talking to them or how friendly they are, may not be who they say they are.

2) Meeting someone you have only been in touch with online can be dangerous. If you feel that you ‘have to’ meet, then for your own safety you must tell your parent or carer and take them with you –at least on the first visit – and meet in a public place in daytime.

3) Stay in charge in chat. Keep your personal information secret when chatting online (name, address, telephone number, mobile number, private email address, picture), even if people ask for this. Although It can be tempting to reveal more than you normally would in online friendships, giving out personal information can make you vulnerable.

4) Check your profile and make sure it doesn’t include any personal information (name, address, telephone number, mobile number, private email address, picture).

5) Get away from an unpleasant situation in a chatroom by logging out (this just takes one click) or by changing your screen name.

6) Think before you answer private messages. It can be harder to end a conversation in a private chat than in a public chat. A private chat may end up being more personal than you like.

7) Use a nickname, not your real name, and a nickname that is not going to attract the wrong type of attention.

8) Look out for your friends and do something if you think that they are at risk.

9) Tell your parent or carer if someone or something makes you feel uncomfortable or worried. 10) Learn how to keep/save a copy of the conversation in chat – this may be useful if you want to report something.

10) Learn how to block/ignore people. Check you know how to report something you feel uncomfortable about to the chatroom provider or moderator.


Careline 0208 514 1177
Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm and 7pm to 10pm
Confidential telephone counselling for children, young people and adults

HunkerMunker Tue 01-Feb-05 14:09:02

"Internet addiction is a real thing!"

RTKangaMummy Tue 01-Feb-05 16:36:48

How are we supposed to tell them they can't go on chat rooms?

doggiewalker Tue 01-Feb-05 16:45:32

Yep, I also felt violated by the u-know-what incident and felt naive, even though I've been around mn for about a year now. It's probably a good thing it happened, as it has made us all aware that people are not necessarily who they say they are on here, as you can get very involved in peoples lives/problems and feel that you know them very well indeed.

I've also looked at other chatrooms/forums Surfermum but none have the appeal of mn at all!

Tortington Wed 02-Feb-05 00:03:01

i told my daughter straight out - no chatrooms - she is nearly 12. she talks to her friends via msn.

on msn you can log all conversations.

i know her password and i can look. if her friends use 2handles" which contain swear words i tell her that she had better tell them to change them when talking to MY daughter or else iwill ocntact the school and from there their parents.

i also tell her that if she continues to use text slang when writing, she wont be allowed online. if she wants the privilage of internet use - she will obey my rules or stuff it.

Branster Wed 02-Feb-05 00:09:39

what's this 'you know who' incident? it totally passed me by? I gather we're not suppossed to talk/mention it but i'm just curious.

alexsmum Wed 02-Feb-05 00:18:31

so did anybody else see this today? I did.The girl had been chatting to thi guy online for a month or more and he had told her he would be outside her school in his car.When she and her friends went out they found that he was this dodgy old bloke ( i say old , i think he was 38 but he was an old looking 38 and not attractive by any means)but they got in his car anyway and started being friends with him, and going to his flat.
Now that is scary with a capital S. That this girl didn't take one look at him and run hell for leather and tell someone......
so it's not just teaching them about safety online , it's teaching them that 'normal' 38 year old men don't have friends who are 13 year old girls.

alexsmum Wed 02-Feb-05 00:19:33

bran,'you know who' or 'she who must not be named' is judgeflounce.( i presume)

Branster Wed 02-Feb-05 00:24:04

thanks alexmum. just to prove how out of touch i am, although the name looks familiar, it doesn't say anything to me, i never actually noticed what she/he posted. i miss an awful ot of threads here. everything is so fast for me!

alexsmum Wed 02-Feb-05 00:31:23

there was a big hoo ha a while back because she was allegedly a barrister and had been giving legal advice will nilly.Turned out not to be at all.All hell broke loose.lot of people v angry.

Branster Wed 02-Feb-05 00:36:17

oh blyme alexmum! how did i miss all that?! just goes to prove you can't trust anyone.

alexsmum Wed 02-Feb-05 00:41:12

so branster did you see the programme today?

Branster Wed 02-Feb-05 00:42:32

no. that passed me by too!
so scary though!

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