I have no idea what to do, regarding my childrens' schools situation. I just can't decide what's for the best.

[Celery]

This is honestly the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

I have three children. My youngest did not get a place at the same school as my other two. I quite like the school he did get a place at. In fact, it has a new Head, who is the old head of the other school, and I like her very much.

I would like all of my children to go to the same school.

But my two oldest children are very settled in their school, and they do not want to move schools and leave their friends. This is particularly important to DS1, who has Aspergers. I have three choices:

1. Move my two older children to the new school, against their wishes, so that all three go to the same school. This would be hard for me too, as we are a part of the community at the current school, I've built up good friendships, as have the children.
   
   
2. Keep the older two at their old school, start my youngest at his new school, and spend forever doing complicated school runs, and attending two different sets of school functions etc
   
   
3. Defer my youngest's entry to reception ( he is five in March). Keep my two older children where they are for the time being, keep my youngest at his preschool on the same site, for the time being, with the hope that a space at the school may come up in the mean time. And if it doesn't, review the situation in the new year, and make a decision then.
   
   I'm kind of tempted by number 3, but also feel that this is probably delaying the inevitable.
   
   I just have no idea what to do.

[activate]

appeal, make a fuss and keep going until youngest gets place

[activate]

why did he not get in on sibling grounds?

[LadyCad]

I'd go for no 3

[LadyCad]

2nd choice no 2, definitely not no 1

[autodidact]

How old are the older 2?

[SagacityNell]

Appeal - he should have got in under the sibling rule surely?

[CarGirl]

Is DS1 the eldest or the middle child? Another option would be to move the middle child at the point at which the eldest one leaves shortening the years of the complicated school run.

Start youngest at other school and keep him on the waiting list for the other school.

I wouldn't defer entry and have him going straight to year one just for school reasons though.

[Celery]

We have already appealed and failed. Siblings don't take priority here, catchment area does.
The children are 9, 6 and 4. My 9 year old is the one with Aspergers.
DS2 is currently no. 10 on the waiting list.
The school has always been undersubscribed, until this year, when is it 29 oversubscibed.

[oldandgreynow]

No2 + appeal

[Celery]

Why not definately not no. 1 choice, Ladycad?

[CarGirl]

I would consider moving the 6 year old when she goes into juniors if your youngest hasn't moved up the list therefore you will potentially only have to do complicated school run for 2 more years?

Any chance you may find people to share the burden with?

[Celery]

sorry, too many nots. I mean Why definately not no. 1, Ladycad?

[SagacityNell]

Even if you delay DC3 for a year you will still have to do complicated school runs, just that they will be delayed for a year.

[inthesticks]

Also if you delay for a year then DC3 will go into a class with children who have completed a year at school. (He would go into Year1).

[Ladymuck]

I'd go for 2, though keep place on waiting list for the other school so that you can review the situation. Don't move the older children unless you have to. Ensure that both heads are aware of your situation in order to have the maximum possible leeway with pickups/dropoffs. Waiting lists do move, especially after September when parents have got used to the school choice that they are living with.

I do 2 school runs. It is doable.

[autodidact]

If it wasn't for the aspergers factor I'd definitely say move all 3, if it's likely you'll be waiting some time for a place to come up for your youngest at the current place. I think most children tolerate a move mid-primary school much better than they or we think they will. My twins changed achools at 9 (we moved to another area) and soon thrived just as well as before (despite the school they moved to being if anything less good). I was so surprised and proud at the way they managed to settle in to a new environment. Neither of them have aspergers but 1 is as quirky as you can get without a diagnosis and the other loved his 1st primary passionately so I was v v v trepidatious. How good would the support be for ds1 at the alternative school? Do you think it would inevitably be a real torment for him?

[Celery]

Thanks for all your input.

I actually think the new school would be good for DS1, with regards his Aspergers. The Head there knows him well, and has a son with ASD herself. But he only has two years of primary left, and has a couple of really good longterm friends at his current school. He struggles socially, and does not make friends easily.

[CarGirl]

Is he likely to go to secondary school with dc from his current school or the new school? That would be a factor for me too.

I think your ds2 will leap up the waiting list come September tbh.

[Celery]

Yes, he will be going to secondary school with children from both schools (it's the only secondary school).

That is my thought, cargirl, that DS2 will leap up the waiting list. If this is the case, would deferring him for a few months not be a good idea? It seems pointless to start him at one primary school, when there is a chance that I will be moving as soon as possible? Atleast at the preschool he is currently at, he is settled and knows people. And I have already okayed it with them that he can still have a funded place there.

[autodidact]

2 years is quite a long time... He really might surprise you and himself. And presumably he'd be able to stay in touch with his friends out of school? If it's pretty unlikely that ds3 will ever get a place at the out of catchment school I'd definitely at least take the other 2 to visit the other one and start issuing positive propaganda! Are there definitely places for ds1 and dd at ds3's school? Are there any other advantages- nearer or better facilities or anything like that?

[CarGirl]

Depends on how induction happens at the school, if they only have one intake then it may well be harder for them to start later.

If they do a January intake I would personally defer until then.

I have a friend whose dd has been no1 on the waiting list for the whole of this year so far and I don't think I know of anyone planning on leaving either.

[orienteerer]

No.2 and move youngest when a place comes up.

[Celery]

I have no idea how likely it is that a place will come up at the school, and I don't think this will be clear until after September.

The new school is currently the least good of the two, but I am confident the new Head will turn this around, as she did with the other school.

Yes, there are definately places at the new school for all of the children. It is very undersubscribed.

It is an older run-down building, but much more spacious, and I think it will be transformed in the next couple of years. It's also much closer than the other school. It is slap bang in the middle of a run down council estate, but I'm trying not to be snobby about that.

If I choose to move all three of them, I want to do that in September. However, if I choose wait and see, and defer DS2, I don't feel that him starting in January will be a huge problem for him. He is very laid back, sociable and easy going.

[CarGirl]

Then I would wait until January and if no place at current school start him at other school and keep him on the waiting list of current school, then review situation again in the summer.

[Celery]

That is the way I'm leaning, cargirl. Thank you.