School trip for 5 year old

[nebula]

First post to Mumsnet, hello.

We are currently living in France and my son was five years old in October.

Question: There is a school trip planned for five days in March to another part of France...six hours away by train and buses. They are going away for five days...yes that means four nights away. It is to a farm which looks nice and i am sure very enjoyable...but I think five is very young to be going away for five days.

Am i paranoid ?? Probably as I am up at 5.00 am in the morning, can't sleep..as have to decide by end of week.

If he doesn't go, will he become ostracised by the others who do go?

Oh a little bit of advice from other mums or dads wouldn't go a miss....

What do you think? Would you let your five year old child go..

Salient facts:

Six hours away on buses and train.
Have to leave at 6.00am in morning.
Four nights away
Five days away
Only just five in October

Will try and go back to bed now! Thanking you.

[undertheboredwalk]

I don't think I would let him go at that age, it's very young! I went on my first residential school trip when I had just turned 7, looking back now that seems very young but we were fine at that age, but only just I think, I doubt we'd have been ok with it any younger.

not sure about the others ostracising him, I doubt it at such a young age, I remember my best friend never cam away with us at school she never wanted to be away from home and none of us gave it a second thought beyond how much she was missing.

Trust your gut if you think he's too young, go with that!

good luck

[nebula]

Thank you undertheboredwalk for your message.

Yes, my natural instinct is he is too young.

[claig]

I wouldn't let him go, he is too young in my opinion. I think he would be a lot better off out of it. I don't think he will be ostracised, the ones who do go will soon not notice. Also I expect that some other parents will think like you and not let their DC go.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Do all the other children go? I think that's the key. My dd went away for 4 days recently, she is 8.7 now but was 8.3 when the trip was on. Hers was to a different part of Switzerland which took around 5 hours on a coach. In her case it was mandatory to go. She adored it and was ready for it. IMHO, 5 is too young, so unless he really wants to go or it is required by the school, I would seriously consider waiting a couple of years.

[BlauerEngel]

Remember that compared with many Continental Europeans, the British style of parenting can seem rather overprotective. My dd1 went on a nursery trip from Monday-Friday in Germany when she was 4 (it was open to all the nursery kids from 4-6) and she had a great time. She was with her friends and nursery teachers she knew well, so didn't have too many problems with missing us. We parents suffered more, I think - we all gathered in a cafe that first evening and exchanged desolate sentiments together, but also realised that we shouldn't project our feelings onto our dcs.

I know of other nurseries that organise the same sort of trips, but by no means all do it. Dd2's nursery had overnight 'adventures' in the nursery instead, where even the 2-year-olds came along.

[BlauerEngel]

OP, just read that the trip is 6 hours away - that seems a long journey. My dd was only an hour away, which meant that we could have got to them fairly quickly had there been a problem, medical or otherwise. However, friends of ours had their daughter in a nursery where the trip - a whole week long - was 6 hours travel, so it's not unknown.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

I agree blauerengel, our style of parenting is overprotective (4 year olds walking alone to school anyone), OTOH six hours away is too long
IMO. In an emergency it would take at least six hours to get there. I am sure that risk assessments would have been done though. DH is a teacher and risk assesses everything

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

I am now officially Mrs State the bloody obvious, a six hour trip would indeed take six hours to get to.

[smee]

I wouldn't let mine go at 5, but then again he won't even go for sleepovers at his Grandparent's house yet .

[Portofino]

My 5 yo dd spent a week last summer on a farm in the Ardennes. She absolutely loved it. I wouldn't worry about the time away, but you're right, 6 hours travel seems like a lot - I would probably be a nervous wreck.

Saying that, if the rest of the class was going, I would let her go. My dd would be furious with me if I wouldn't!

[Laquitar]

I would be very nervous too.

I guess it depends on your ds's personality?

[Bonsoir]

Your son is in Grande Section de Maternelle, I presume.

Lots of schools in France no longer do overnight school trips in maternelle. Early, prolonged stays away from home are gradually going out of fashion - witness the massive decline of the colonie de vacances industry in a generation.

My DD was 5 in November and is in Grande Section. At her school, her first trip will be in CE1 ie she will be 8. It will last for 12 days/nights, however.

My DD is not ready for a trip as long as your DS's proposed trip - nor are 95% of her classmates.

[madamearcati]

No My just-turned-five-year-old would certainly not be ready. I would be worried 24/7.

[Runoutofideas]

My nearly 5 year old would be nowhere near ready. She won't even stay at a friend's house for 1 night. I think it sounds stressful for bith you and him, so I wouldn't be doing it. Having said that if he's very mature and independent and desperately wants to go with all his friends then I might think about it. Could you go too as a helper?

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Bonsoir, that is a huge length of time to be away from home. I wouldn't complain though if it were my dd

[BigusBumus]

Hello. I realise that most people wouldn't let a 5 year old go but i am probably the exception.

I have a DS who is 7 now and who I have had to allow to go and stay with his father in London 1.5hrs away every other weekend since he was 2.

He has also gone on holiday with his dad or his aunt and cousin (on Ex's side) for a week at a time, sometimes abroad.

At first it was very hard for me, but as he is the type of child who doesn't even look back when shouting bye and is very secure and sure of himself it has become quite easy for me, knowing he will feel OK about being away.

So yes, I would have let him go on a trip at 5.

[Bonsoir]

kreecher - I agree that it is quite a long time. However, the school runs this trip every single year and all parents are aware many years in advance (providing their children already attend the school, but most do) that this trip will take place and therefore take the necessary steps, as does the school, to prepare them psychologically.

I'm sure my DD will be ready by then, because we will ensure she is, IYSWIM! I also think that a first fortnight away from home is a lot easier when done with long-standing friends and your class teacher than on a colonie with strangers.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Definitely, my dd had such a ball on her last school trip that she didn't want to come home - despite falling out of a window. Her greatest anger at our move away from CH is that she'll miss next years trip!

[FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010]

Of course he won't be ostracised by the other kids if he doesn't go!

Too young for so long to be away imo.

[chopstheduck]

My nearly 5 yo is still in nappies at night!

I let him go to family for a week, but no way would I let him go off with the school.

[t875]

It would be a no for me.

Cant believe they are taking 5year olds away over night for so long!!

[malovitt]

BigusBumus - a child staying with their dad or other relatives isn't the same thing at all.

[nebula]

Thank you all for your messages. I still think it is too long...too early, but do worry that I shall be perceived as being too protective.

[BigusBumus]

Malovitt, no you're right its not the same thing, but it has made me less fraught at the prospect of him being away from me, iyswim. So I don't think i would stress as much about a school trip decision such as this as someone who had never left their child overnight anywhere (perhaps).

Nebula, trust your instinct.