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Quite pissed off about this, am I being daft?

(374 Posts)
FlightAttendant Tue 05-Jan-10 17:59:05

Today ds1 went abck to school and was really looking forward to it.

I went to get him at 3.15 and he was absolutely busting to tell me about the 'thing' that had landed in the woodland bit of the playground.

I followed him and a large crowd of grown ups and children was standing around this thing, which looked to me very much like a huge air conditioning unit half buried in the ground, with a slightly blackened tree next to it.

I have to admit I immediately thought it was a kind of set up, for fun - there was stripey tape all round it and nobody allowed to touch.

Ds told me that it had apparently 'crashed' last night, and was from a satellite or spaceship or similar and it even had the voltage written on it!

He loves this kind of thing so was utterly serious and really quite blown away by the idea. They had spent all day finding out about it and someone from the BBC had apparently come and interviewed a witness, with a microphone but no camera.

There is nothing on the BBC website. The newsletter just arrived and there is a large paragraph about it - 'We hope the children enjoyed the 'space mystery' today, our project this term is all about space' etc etc...

I didn't know what to do, so stupidly, probably, I told ds it wasn't actually from a spaceship, and he started to cry sad

I mean is this just like the Father Christmas thing we do with them, or is it actually rather cruel of them to lie about something so potentially thrilling - I have probably done the wrong thing but he would have found out later anyway no doubt and been MORE upset.

He is insisting the newsletter is wrong and is very cross and fed up.

Can anyone talk me down, I really don't need another confrontation with the HT...I am just so sad for him.

moondog Tue 05-Jan-10 18:00:29

What on earth did you do that for?
hmm

hippipotamiHasLost77lbs Tue 05-Jan-10 18:02:38

Why did you tell him it was not real? Part of the fun of childhood is utterly believing something like this!

I don't understand - why are you cross with the HT?

FlightAttendant Tue 05-Jan-10 18:03:08

Oh you always say something like that moony. Make me feel worse why don't you.

FlightAttendant Tue 05-Jan-10 18:03:34

Ok it's my fault...sorry.

FlightAttendant Tue 05-Jan-10 18:04:35

I think I'm cross because it means SO mcuh to him that it is real.

I don't feel it's their place to lie to the kids especially if later on he's going to be massively let down.

I thought better get it over with.

moondog Tue 05-Jan-10 18:05:08

FA, what do you want?
Someone to tell you that they completely see your point when they don't?
I don't get this.
You asked for an opinion, I gave you mine.

memoo Tue 05-Jan-10 18:05:15

Kids learn best when they are having fun!

LongDroopyBoobyLady Tue 05-Jan-10 18:06:24

They're not lying to the children - it's called creative learning and is incredible fun for all concerned, it beats sitting in a stuffy classroom listening to a teacher drone on all day.

memoo Tue 05-Jan-10 18:06:28

Do you go along with the father christmas , easter bunny, tooth fairy etc? Because if you do then whats the difference between that and what the school did?

hippipotamiHasLost77lbs Tue 05-Jan-10 18:06:46

Oh Flight...

There is lying and there is lying...
This was a harmless 'lie' as a means of getting young children enthused and interested in subject about which they are to lean.

Ds's school (Year 6 so much older) have been learing about world leaders and politics and ended up staging a revolution. Of course the revolution was not real (although they did tie the HT to a chair and put him in a storage cupboard) but it made the learning so much more 'real' (not to mention fun)

donnie Tue 05-Jan-10 18:07:59

well if you are so opposed to adults "lying to the kids" you'd better come clean about all sorts then hadn't you?

It's not LYING - it's being creative/suspension of disbelief/make believe/delete as applicable.

Do you go in for the Santa Claus stuff or is that a Big Adult Lie as well?

hippipotamiHasLost77lbs Tue 05-Jan-10 18:08:09

And why would he later be massively 'let down'?
Surely the school could let the children believe this is a genuine piece of space junk, and then, when the project comes to a close, dispose of it and tell the children Nasa collected it for research.
No one would be any the wiser and the children will remember their fantastic 'space month' with fondness for years to come!

seeker Tue 05-Jan-10 18:08:14

Why exactly are you pissed off with a school that seems to have gone to a huge amount of effort to provide a wonderful, exciting day for the children? I'm genuinely puzzled....

donnie Tue 05-Jan-10 18:09:34

oh, and FWIW it sounds like the school went to a great deal of trouble to make this fun and captivating for the children - and you want to confront the HT??

blimey.

cupofteaplease Tue 05-Jan-10 18:10:07

What a fantastic idea by the school to get the children completely engaged in, and excited about their new topic! I can't believe you would even be considering going to the HT about this. I'd be more likely going to congratulate the class teacher on a fantastic idea.

FlightAttendant Tue 05-Jan-10 18:10:12

But Hippo that was Ok because they knew it was pretend.
Ds had no idea this was pretend.

Moondog I just meant that you've given me the hmm so many times before, it always upsets me, because I don't eman any harm and i think you perhaps already know that.

ruddynorah Tue 05-Jan-10 18:10:41

it's not lying! it's like if they staged a dinosaur dig.

moondog Tue 05-Jan-10 18:11:05

Good God, neither do I.
I am just a random person on the internet.
Please, don't take it so seriously.
Give me hmm right back!

FlightAttendant Tue 05-Jan-10 18:11:57

Ok forget it, sorry to have bothered you all.

It made no sense to me but that might be my stupid aspergers brain. Another apocalyptic parenting failure in the flight household.

Sorry - don't mean to be PA, will shut up now. Thanks for telling me like it is.

Ladymuck Tue 05-Jan-10 18:11:57

I have to confess that I thought that you were upset because something had actually fallen from out of space so close to the school!

I'm impressed that a school would have gone to so much bother for a day (especially as my dcs school seem to have mainly been putting effort into how to notify us that they are planning to close if it snows).

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 Tue 05-Jan-10 18:14:03

I don't think you are being daft. I probably would have told them it wasn't real at some point too.

hippipotamiHasLost77lbs Tue 05-Jan-10 18:14:07

Fair point, the Y6 did know it was pretent.

But back to your school - pretend is not always bad. For young children pretending is fun, wholeheartedly believing something is fun. Knowing certain things are not real are disappointments for later in life. For now there was no reason for you to tell ds the space junk was pretend. And if the children had known it was pretend then they would not have got quite so enthused and excited by it!

I think children should be children. And yes, you should not lie to children.
But setting up a pretend space crash and pretending it is real is not true lying. It is called make-believe, something which children relish.

WhereChaosTheoryRules Tue 05-Jan-10 18:16:44

Actually i agree, it is wrong to lead children on like that and can actually cause them a lot of problems. I think that you were right to say it wasnt from space and that this new trend in schools making up pretend stories to teach is actually very damagine. And i say that with both teacher and parent hats on.

Good on you. Fucking idiots who come with this sort of thing!

cockles Tue 05-Jan-10 18:16:58

I don't think you're mad, I would be thinking the same. But then I told dp not to shake bells pretending to be father xmas. I don't mind magic at all, but deliberate deception seems wrong, especially when you're trying to teach them. There must be ways to do make-believe without making it so obviously a deceit. It's tricky though isn't it?

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