DD upset about going back to school after half term

[lulu2]

She is in Yr 1 and this evening has been very upset saying she doesn't like 1 of her teachers.
dd has been settling in well, despite this teacher calling her a whittle at parents evening which i didn't like. dd says she is worried because when the class is given work they are told to work in silence and if she asks for help her teacher says no. She says that she doesn't want to write down the wrong answer because she doesn't know how to work it out and sometimes she copies from the other girl in her group.
I know that dd lacks confidence and she made me promise that i would speak to this teacher tomorrow.
I know that i only have dd's version of events but she was so upset this evening and my heart breaks that at 6 years old she feels like this about school.
I don't know how to approach this with the teacher and want to fix it for dd.
Any suggestions most welcome

[postal]

tell DD that she must just do her best and that the teacher is there to teach and if she doesn't try on her own then her teacher won't have the opportunity to teach which would be sad

tell teacher how unsettled she was and what she's worried about and ask how she feels DD is settling in the class. Explain about the working in silence thing and ask for teacher's perspective and what she feels would work best for DD.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

What is a whittle? I think I'd be a bit about the whole working in silence with no help from the teacher thing.

[smee]

We had this at end of last term. DS had a teacher for only one session a week, but had decided she was the devil incarnate. He went from loving school to weeping daily. I went to see his normal teacher and stressed it wasn't a complaint but I was worried as DS was so upset. Teacher instantly took it on board and we worked out that the teacher in question had pushed DS a bit too much (he's bright and very articulate, but his writing's not caught up with his mouth yet.. ). His teacher talked to DS about it and told him not to worry - his friends were told to look out for DS and to tell the teacher if he looked sad and they couldn't cheer him up. They also sorted out a strategy with the teacher in question, who was lovely. She made a massive fuss of him next time she taught him and he of course now thinks she's fantastic. So go see the teacher and nip it in the bud. I am so glad I did and if the school's good they'll sort it for her.

[lulu2]

i went and spoke to the teacher this morning and she was very uninterested, not even making eye contact. I came away feeling as though she hadn't listened and couldn't get me out of her classroom quick enough.
I don't know what to do now.
I wish my dd had a teacher like your dd smee.

[smee]

lulu, that's woeful. Honestly am amazed a teacher can be so distant when they hear a child's upset. If it were me, I think I'd write a letter saying it was good to meet, but that as your daughter's so upset you really need more reassurance on what she intends to do to help. I'd say that that you feel this is probably very easy to solve, but that now she's aware of the problem, you'd like another meeting to hear what her strategy will be to help. Doesn't need to be long or full of reasoning, just clearly let her know you're not going away until she sorts it. If she refuses to meet, then go to the head. Honestly that's so not good enough. Makes me appreciate DS's teacher even more. Though I really hope he's not all that unusual.

[lulu2]

thanks smee. I do know from talking to other mums that this teacher is like this with all parents. DD has 2 teachers, they are very different in their approaches so i may try talking to her on Thursday, although it is not her that dd has the issues with.
I may then speak to the KS1 manager who was dd's reception teacher and is lovely.
I don't want to make a fuss and i know that year 1 is very different to reception but i don't want dd to hate school because of this.

[sunnydelight]

Tbh if you try and talk to a teacher in the morning you may well find that they can't wait to get your out of the classroom as they are trying to prepare for the day ahead! I learnt that one the hard way one day - I felt crap at the time but when I thought about it I knew I should have just caught her with a quick "can I have a word one day after school this week", or even better put it in the record book.

As the issue is with this particular teacher I think I would try again, maybe even saying "I know I caught you at a bad time, I wasn't thinking because I was really worried about DD, but I would appreciate the chance to have a proper chat about it". That way if she's still unresponsive you know you'll have to look elsewhere for support.

[lulu2]

thanks sunnydelight. I will approach dd's teacher after school to ask if i can have a word.

[sunnydelight]

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.