Oh ladies, (are you all ladies? Sorry if anyone is not!) this is simultaneously reassuring and disturbing at the same time! I often think it is simply that I am an inefficient worker, or being rather indulgent with the time I allow myself to dither over things, or am simply not good enough or whatever, and that is the reason why I feel overwhelmed. So it is reassuring to hear that actually, it is mainly in the job description! On the other hand, I think, do I want to operate at this level of stress all the time - is it fair to my dh, who is lovely and wonderfully helpful - is it fair to my girls, is it fair to me? Of course we all need to make compromises (I well remember having other jobs and disliking them because they weren't stimulating and all consuming), and other jobs would also have great drawbacks.
I think it is also tied into the problems I am having with discipline at the moment. I just am not on top of it, and don't feel like I have ever really achieved that in class (this is my 4th year teaching). I am spending 40% of my time trying to keep control, and 60% of my time teaching, which isn't the way it should be and it is getting me down. I am not complaining about the children, I know that essentially it is down to me, but I just can't seem to sort it. Luckily I have got supportive SLT, but I feel quite a failure for being a 'experienced' teacher and having to ask for help. I have asked for help, and I am being supportive, but there is only so much they can do.
I do feel that some people are born teachers, and although of course they have to work very hard at it, they are naturally great at the job, and others (like me) learn it. I just wonder, at what point should one do something different? Should I soldier on and just keep trying and doing a not horrible but not good job - should I try to diversify to something else? I like children, I like some aspects of the job, but sometimes I just think that I don't do a good enough job.
Hadn't meant this to turn into a personal sob story - I am grateful for all the tips.