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is anyone else new school starter still crying every day??

(8 Posts)
frottie Mon 12-Oct-09 13:00:50

please if anyone out there has any suggestions on how to settle my little girl in school as i have run out of ideas. I cant believe she is still crying weeks after the start of school. She says she doesn't want to go and wants me to stay every morning and i have done everything I can think of: cuddling and staying to read a book, getting teh teacher to take her from me, being firm and just going but every day i feel awful leaving her in this upset state, i am so worried it is going to put her off school. But the wierd thing is every day she comes out of school she says she has had a nice day, I have friends back for tea and walked down at lunchtime and seen her playing and running around so its not like she actually hates the day there - iam so confused!

Anyone else found anything works? thanks for any ideas as i have completely run out of ideas and I dont think i can take any more mornings feeling so awful!

verySCREEEAAAMlawn Mon 12-Oct-09 13:21:32

I had this at ds2's nursery, and honestly found it best to give him a big kiss and hug and then just go and not look back - hard I know!

In his case, he was definitely reacting to my being there, and yet according to the staff was fine once I left.

Don't worry, it WILL sort itself out - she won't still be there crying at age 7 or 8!

Beanie4 Mon 12-Oct-09 14:53:18

It will pass I promise. DS cried every day for 3 weeks. One of the things that worked for us was to keep him 'busy' going in. For example told him what he has to do first, then what next.... Conversation went as follows:

''Morning teacher, Ok DS put your water bottle there thats it, then hang your coat up no Im not staying, yes coat next, you have jam sandwiches today try and eat them all up see you at home time, good boy have a fab day love you, why dont you pick that book and sit beside x, byeeee''

I try not to get there before they can go in, just after the first bell goes so he is not hanging about getting nervous / worked up waiting outside with everyone else.

can you ask the teacher to give her a job for first thing in the morning? I think its the not knowing what to do when they get in the door first is daunting for them.

The other one for me was getting him to do a picture for Nana and Ill pick you up later and I'll have an envelope and stamps ready then we can post it together.

Your LO will be fine soon Im sure of it

seeyounexttuesday Mon 12-Oct-09 14:55:15

my DS cried nearly every day for 4 years but as Beanie says - it doees pass. Mine was just very s l o w l y grin

drivinmecrazy Mon 12-Oct-09 14:58:55

I am going through this now with DD2. DD1 was always fine so have never dealt with this before. DD2 was always fine going into nursery but now in reception she clasps my leg so tight that the teacher cannot even undo her grip. She is fine if i just leave, but last Thursday teacher said it did take a good ten minutes for her to calm downsad
I have decided that tomorrow I am going to wait outside the classroom and ask my DD1 (8) to take her in and help her put her water bottle, bag and coat away and see if this is any better (mind you it'll probably cost me a fiver cos DD1 is rather embarassed by her little sis)
I am worried that it is becoming an habitual thing to do, crying out of habit rather than necessity.

frottie Tue 13-Oct-09 12:20:30

thanks for some good ideas, I think you are right that it is almost a habit now and its breaking that, thats a good idea about getting the teacher to giver her a job. It is the hanging around in the class room and not starting anything that she just clamps to me and there is no one really to hand her over to. Fingers crossed its not 4 years, not sure my heart can take it that long!

frottie Wed 14-Oct-09 12:41:36

good news - no tears this morning! she was upset and was saying she didnt want me to go but the teacher distracted her and gave her a job to do and said say bye to mummy and come and help me! So pleased, i sure it will take a few more days but am so pleased no actual tears today - thanks 4 everyones help - smile

roundabout1 Wed 14-Oct-09 14:39:06

Hi frottie - hopefully now there's been one morning with no tears she'll continue. My dd spent the first 2 weeks of school crying - all day long. One day she came home saying she'd been a bit happier. The next day she said she was going to go in with no tears, she did it & there's been no tears since. I think it does get to be a habit & if they get to see that they have more fun by not crying it can work wonders. Good luck x

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