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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Being asked for a donation for teacher's birthday

60 replies

IdrisTheDragon · 07/10/2009 18:12

Today DS has come home with an envelope with a note stapled onto it asking us to contribute a pound to celebrate teachers' birthdays.

Presumably you need to do this for each child in the school (only DS is there so far).

I find it a bit odd - when I was a teacher I would have been surprised to get a birthday present from the class, and done in this way we are being "asked" but it isn't what I would have chosen to do. I am very happy with the school and DS's teacher but don't like the feeling of being made to feel I should be doing this.

I do realise I don't have to do it, but was interested in other people's views, and whether it happens in other schools.

OP posts:

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Hassled · 07/10/2009 18:14

FFS. This is INSANE. The Christmas bottle of wine/end of year potted plant is enough, surely.

Has this come from the school or a misguided and overly keen parent?

Tambajam · 07/10/2009 18:17

This surprises me. I never heard of a teacher getting more than a homemade card in a wet playtime. Too much. I would have been horribly embarrassed if I'd known parents were being asked for a birthday present collection when I'd been teaching.

IdrisTheDragon · 07/10/2009 18:22

There seems to be a person who is on the PTA and also a dinner lady (according to DS) who is generally organising relations between staff and parents. Parents reps have been appointed (not sure what exactly they are doing yet) but it seems the main thing is this collection for teachers .

The person involved is a mum of another child in DS's class, but don't quite want to say what I think of the idea.

OP posts:

IdrisTheDragon · 07/10/2009 18:23

I don't see how the teachers can't know about it either - it was in some letter home from school.

Shall I make a stand and not contribute? I am tempted tbh.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 07/10/2009 18:24

As a teacher I don't remember ever getting a birthday present; sometimes a card or two at most. Never known others too either.

I have never bought one of DD's teachers a card.

CantThinkofFunnyName · 07/10/2009 18:26

Ridiculous - I'd be quite peeved about this. its usual to have the gift at Xmas and end of year - but birthdays?

Hassled · 07/10/2009 18:29

Make a stand. It's completely ridiculous.

IdrisTheDragon · 07/10/2009 18:31

Glad it not just me that thinks it is odd. May canvas opinion at school (although not in earshot of big organising lady ).

OP posts:

stuffitllllama · 07/10/2009 18:32

Nope not normal. Bit over zealous and likely to cause resentment.

primarymum · 07/10/2009 18:33

I would certainly never expect a birthday present and would be mortified if a collection was requested on my behalf ( and it was my birthday last week ) I usually receive a couple of hand made cards (often paper torn out of a notebook and hastily decorated when the children realise ( I take in cake and squash for my birthday party!) and wouldn't expect or even want anything more!

TeamEdwardTango · 07/10/2009 18:34

I wouldn't donate and I am a teacher at DS's school!

Slubberdegullion · 07/10/2009 18:37

Ridiculous. Make your stand Idris. Tell nitwit overzealous parent to bog off - but in nice non confontrational way . Bog off may not be the words of choice.

Slubberdegullion · 07/10/2009 18:39

Make or take your stand? Making a stand sounds odd. Do something with a stand, and do it firmly. You know what I mean.

Wags · 07/10/2009 18:55

How bloody ridiculous . Could you not say politely to the mother organising the collection that you don't like to be a party pooper but doesn't she feel that this is a bit near to Christmas and would it be best just to stick with a Christmas gift. Maybe she could suggest to parents the children make a homemade card for the teacher. Surely the teacher will be quite embarrassed by it.

Tortington · 07/10/2009 18:57

i'd reply.

in this ecomonic climate i am hard pressed not to tell you to jiz off

lots of love and kisses

mrs idris.

IdrisTheDragon · 07/10/2009 18:59

I could take a music stand and do something with it I suppose. Will find the paragraph from the letter we were sent that first mentioned it so you can see it.

Am really glad I am not being mean spirited by the way

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crokky · 07/10/2009 18:59

It seems bizarre - adults don't expect to have their birthdays celebrated in the workplace. However, I'm sure that the organising parent is well meaning - if you will not miss the pound, I would just hand it over and forget about it. I wouldn't make a scene or make enemies of other parents over something so trivial as this, personally. If you just give the £1, the problem goes away - that's what I'd do!

clam · 07/10/2009 19:06

As a teacher, I'd be embarrassed beyond belief if this hapened in my school.

Slubberdegullion · 07/10/2009 19:07

at custy's direct reply.

grownupbabes · 07/10/2009 19:07

Never heard of such a thing, and I have now successfully shepherded 2 DCs all the way through school and up to university. I have occasionally given small personalised presents to teachers who have shown help and support beyond the call of duty (eg after GCSEs and A levels) but NEVER anything like this. I know it's only one pound - but the principle of it is CRINGEWORTHY.
I am a teacher BTW and I would be very embarrassed to get some group birthday present. What I LOVE to get is ... once in a blue moon... heartfelt thankyou cards from students who I've maybe helped a bit and are moving onwards and upwards. Those, I treasure.
Anything else - forget it.

Hassled · 07/10/2009 19:08

And what if the teacher is going through some whole angst-ridden crisis re turning 40 or whatever? What if she/he actually hates having birthdays acknowledged?

QuintessentialShadowsOfDoom · 07/10/2009 19:09

I just wouldnt contribute. It is not right. christmas present, end of year presents, birthday presents for teachers, where will it end? Easter collection? Half term?

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Goblinchild · 07/10/2009 19:32

Ah yes, the PTA.
What was that thread we were whittering on yesterday?
No way is that an appropriate thing to be asking parents to contribute to. In my school the onus is on th Birthday Girl to provide cake in the staffroom. I also buy choccie buttons for my class.
Tell her a calm and unequivocal NO!

MrsPumphrey · 07/10/2009 20:53

Just ignore it. Bloody nonsense!

ICANDOTHAT · 07/10/2009 20:58

This sounds like an over enthusiastic member of the PTA or the class rep to be honest. I have never heard of collecting for a teachers b'day .... only Xmas or end of year pressy. I would gather a consensus amongst the other mums and put your feet firmly down

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