Advanced search

Get £10 off your first lesson with Mumsnet-Rated tutoring service Tutorful here

Too early for playdate 2 weeks into starting reception?

(13 Posts)
katalex Fri 25-Sep-09 09:29:14

Dd loved school in her first week but now she's having trouble settling and is crying every morning when she goes in. Also, she said that her new friend has started saying that she doesn't want to play with her. I don't know if that's true but I thought it might help if we invited her to play at our house at the weekend. They only started in reception 2 weeks ago so I was wondering if anyone thought it was a bit early to be doing playdates. I'd invite the mum round too. I know that if dd was invited somewhere to play she'd want me to stay with her. What do you think?

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Fri 25-Sep-09 09:37:50

Not too early if inviting the mother too

fiercebadrabbit Fri 25-Sep-09 10:18:21

Depends on how your child behaves normally on playdates

Personally two weeks in to reception, I'm finding dd1, who is a generally sensitive soul, is the child from hell after school. When she gets home she needs to chill and have a lot of cuddles and generally get over all her new experiences. I've decided no playdates until at least half term, possibly next term, as I don't trust her not to explode under the pressure of having to behave at school and then behave nicely with a new friend. If the playdate did end in tears we'd all end up feeling bad. There's plenty of time to make lifelong friends, I think we all get too pressured these days about everything being perfect from the word go. But your child is no doubt more mellow, so do what you think would work smile

TeeBee Fri 25-Sep-09 12:25:47

When my eldest started school he was having trouble settling in so my husband was dragging mummies off the street to expand my son's network of friends. Think that was on week one. It did help him build a few friends. As long as you invite the mummy too, I don't see any harm, especially if its just for an hour before tea.

katiestar Fri 25-Sep-09 12:58:52

You can ask a mum if they think their Dc is raedy for it yet.I have invited a new friend back for my DD2 for the first time tonight.Although my DD did go out for the day with a new friend amd her family last weekend (without me)

clop Fri 25-Sep-09 13:22:11

IME, most the other parents will blow you off, tho' you can still ask.

katalex Fri 25-Sep-09 13:31:21

Thanks for your replies.

fiercebadrabbit - Dd's behaviour has so far been fine after school but unfortunately I have to carry on working after school pick up so that's why I'm going to ask if she wants to come over for an hour or so at the weekend.

roundabout1 Fri 25-Sep-09 13:57:37

Hi Katalex - I think it's a good idea to ask but don't expect them to take you up on the offer with it being the weekend. If someone invited me I'd defintely say yes for my dd's benefit (if she was keen to go!) even if it was the last thing I wanted to do on a weekend - no offence! My dd would not go to a friends house on her own this early into term although saying that she doesn't know any of the children that well but she would happily go without me to her existing freinds.

happywomble Fri 25-Sep-09 14:03:52

I would try and encourage your DD to get to know others in the class. Even if this girl turns out to be THE friend it would be good for her to feel relaxed playing with several of the girls not just one.

I would not suggest a playdate at the weekend as most people want to do things as a family at the weekend and it would be disappointing if the other mother said "no".

could you find out if other girls in the class do ballet or other after school activities. If your DD started one after school activity maybe she would get to know a few girls better?

I would try not to worry at the moment. At this stage in reception children are probably playing mainly with children they already new at nursery and will gradually get to know the rest of the class and the friendships will probably all change.

I tried a few playdates in the afternoons and stopped as DD played up as she was excited and overtired.

happywomble Fri 25-Sep-09 14:04:55

whoops should have written "knew at nursery"

katalex Fri 25-Sep-09 16:54:33

I took your advice and didn't mention the play date to dd's friend's mum. Fortunately dd had forgotten about it. She told me that she played with a little boy and a different little girl so it looks like she's making progress.

whizzylala Fri 25-Sep-09 18:21:52

I would give it more time. My DD is outgoing and sociable but is only just settling into having a "better" friend in her class and she is Yr1. She has spent the last year playing a little bit with everyone which I think is great.
Also I think school is a novelty for about a week and then reality kicks in that this is it so probably why she seemed more unsettled. I am sure things will get easier.

Acinonyx Sat 26-Sep-09 12:31:26

I've been thinking about doing the same thing for the same reason. Dd has settled great into reception but her main new friend now sometimes says she's not dd's freind and plays with another girl - then gives dd 'permission' to come back and play hmm This is so typical of girl-play, I'm afriad but dd is not up to this yet.

So OTOH I am encorouging her to play with some of the other children. I know dd, who is generally shy, tends to latch on to a one friend and it's only natural that this other friend might prefer to have more playmates. I'm trying to encorouge her to be a bit more proactive and not just sit around waiting for her friend to bestow her good favour!

But also - I will invite new friend and her mummy over to visit, but probably after school (I only work 2 days).

I expect these freindships to shift about a lot of the coming year. It will be a steep learning curve for dd who is rather clueless wrt this stuff.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: