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DS1 is loving school (reception) but uncontrollable when I pick him up

(19 Posts)
Thinkstoomuch Tue 22-Sep-09 21:20:13

Really defiant, won't hold my hand to walk down the road, shouting at me, won't do anything we ask, looking me right in the eye and doing exactly the thing I've asked him not to do, suddenly sobbing and saying 'you don't love me', generally a devil-child from 3.15 until bedtime.

He seems to have settled into school with no problems, but it's all new and must be stressful even if it's in a good way I suppose.

Is this just the way he's dealing with it? Is it going to settle down? It's hard enough waving off my first-born into the big bad world without all this.

buy1get1free Tue 22-Sep-09 21:31:32

Information overload, I think. School is a very demanding environment on 4&5 year olds. Even though reception is play based, they still have to listen, concentrate and sit for periods of time. They also have routines to remember. All this when you've only ever been used to mummy doing it all for you. I think they are not only tired when they come out, but also need to release lots of energy. In other words, it's all normal stuff. Glad he's settled in smile

Kirstieallsoppsalterego Tue 22-Sep-09 21:33:22

They also spend a lot of time at school having to remember to be good - which means you get all the bad stuff. Oh joy. All I can say is that it does get better as they get older and more used to it. And it's better that they're good at school and vile at home than vice versa.

Sagacious Tue 22-Sep-09 21:34:49

Take a snack for him
Distraction can work wonders

bumpybecky Tue 22-Sep-09 21:36:27

feed him ASAP on collection, makes a huge difference

Thinkstoomuch Tue 22-Sep-09 21:46:08

Yes of course, I should have thought of that. I'll bung a bun in his mouth tomorrow and see if that makes him more biddable. Unlikely to last until bedtime, mind, so I just hope the novelty of school wears off soon. He used to be at nursery for a lot longer each day, for more that half the week, so he's not physically very tired, but his brain is fizzing I guess.

Lindax Tue 22-Sep-09 21:48:24

no advice, but just to let you know you are not alone, my ds has turned into an angry and tearful little horror in the evenings since starting school. he loves school and has settled in really well but the nights are terrible.

What surprises me most is he went to nursery from 8am - 5:30pm and was fine, but at school its 9am - 4:30pm (2 hours shorter) and he's knackered. Bedtime has changed from 8pm to 7pm too but hasnt helped much.

Cant wait until he gets used to it and this passes.

Thinkstoomuch Tue 22-Sep-09 22:05:27

Thanks, it's good to know it's not just my DS. I guess it would be strange if they just took it all in their stride.

Ponders Tue 22-Sep-09 22:08:43

One of mine (a girl!) used to come out of reception & SHOUT at me, smack me, weep, wail & just generally be obnoxious.

Being there all day is a huge strain for some of them. It will pass smile

Northumberlandlass Wed 23-Sep-09 07:54:27

Hey thinkstoomuch !
My DS has just gone into Yr1, but I had the same issues as you last year. My DS is VERY active, bit of a live wire I guess but at school he is well behaved and controlled. I put his outbursts down to feeling confined at school (not in a bad way) and when he came out it was a huge release.

I always take a tuna / ham sandwich for him and a drink (he is always hungry) and then we go to the park for a run around with his friends, then 3 / 5 nights after school he has activities. I find this helps him a lot.

It will pass !


kittybrown Wed 23-Sep-09 09:11:30

Agree with all those who say take a snack and a drink. It really does make a difference.

mumto3boys Wed 23-Sep-09 09:26:16

I actually logged on to type a similar post! My twins have just started reception and have settled much better than I could have hoped, but have turned into horrible devils.

Even before school this morning they were a nightmare DT 2 even hit me and spent time on the naughty step!

Walking home from school yesterday, (less than 10 minutes) was hideous - sitting on the pavement and the usual of calling me a stinky poo poo head!

Oh the joy. Will try taking a snack today to see if that gets us home happy.

GrapefruitMoon Wed 23-Sep-09 12:35:47

I could have written this about ds2 last year! He's in Yr 1 now and I would say is still not behaving as well at home as he is at school...

Agree about having a snack straightaway - also a quick run around in the park/garden can help too.

Bucharest Wed 23-Sep-09 12:38:04

Ahhh t'is the morphing-into-spawn-of-Satan-divilchile thing....

Dd did this when she started nursery, and I'm noticing it a bit now she's just gone into primary.

Ignore him. Stick him in front of the telly for an hour when he gets home. Give him a fruit shoot shock if necessary....grin

This too shall pass.

LetsEscape Wed 23-Sep-09 21:36:57

We've been there too.... And you were so keen to see them, full of energy and optimism.. but that lasts only a few seconds.
Arrive with a nice snack and drink. It's often dehydration classrooms can be unbearably hot and stuffy at the end of the day.
Go home via a park and let him run off his tension.
And don't bombard with too many questions -it's so tempting I know.

IWantCleanCarpets Wed 23-Sep-09 21:39:35

Food & drink immediately, and do not ask what he did at school (he will eventually tell you).

IWantCleanCarpets Wed 23-Sep-09 21:40:30

.....oh yes, I get the "you don't love me" bit as well.

womblingfree Wed 23-Sep-09 23:18:17

My DD had just started school and is not totally horrendous but definitely not so good when she gets home form school - v. prone to attitude, answering abckand refusing to do anything I ask her to.

Food and drink is great - we only live just over 5 mins from school, so she has a snack when we get in, but she always saves some of her drink from lunch (completely off her own back from day one!)

Think the park idea is great - lots of parents at our school bring their kids scooters for them to go home on too.

I try and get my chores done as well so I can give her a bit of 1-2-1 time after she's had 20 minutes or so to chill out.

fiercebadrabbit Thu 24-Sep-09 14:01:20

So glad it's not just my dd, I've found the strain of the last couple of weeks intolerable, she is vile, demanding, fractious after school - and she only goes until 12pm atm! What will it be like after half term when she goes all the way through to 3.15 [terror emoticon}

Will try the drink thing too as she never drinks a thing and am going to try a good 20 mins cuddling when we get home, while not asking her frantically who she played with/what did she learn etc. Good luck everyone smile

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