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Primary school teachers. If a parent comes to see you and says that she is worried about her

(13 Posts)
OrmIrian Thu 17-Sep-09 10:30:01

child getting upset and overwraught about maths, and please could you keep an eye out for her, do you secretly think "Huh! Over-protective mother! Do you honestly think I'll just let her flounder and then beat her when she fails?"

Because I was that mother this morning sad. DD (my academically enthusiastic DD!) was in tears over it last night. She knows what to do but is basically taking too long to finish work in class,seeing all her friends finishing, and getting distressed and then unable to concentrate. I didn't know what to say but just wanted the teacher to be aware. The teacher was very nice and she was already aware to a certain extent so would it have been better to leave it?

mrsruffallo Thu 17-Sep-09 10:33:21

I feel your pain. My very bright 6 yr old just started year 2 and is having real problems with the maths work/assessments.
I want her to continue being enthusiastic about school but I can see this waning as she notices all her other friends on her tyable completing more about her.
I had a quick word with the teacher who was very nice but I did get the feeling I was an over anxiuos mother (again)

choccyp1g Thu 17-Sep-09 10:36:17

I think you were right to mention it; if she is getting upset over homework that is another piece of information for the teacher.
Maybe your DD has found everything easy until now, and feels uncomfortable at being challenged, which then becomes a vicious circle of stress.

OrmIrian Thu 17-Sep-09 10:44:14

"Maybe your DD has found everything easy until now, and feels uncomfortable at being challenged"

Hmmm.. yes. That might be it. Maths has never been her strong point but last year she had a lot of help and clicked with the teacher. She is the top set but struggling and so desperately doesn't want to go down - apparently there is a real stigma to actually <gasp> being put down hmm

alloveryet Thu 17-Sep-09 10:45:52

A change of class/teacher can unsettle children, teachers are good at spotting whats going on (if they're any good!) Leave it a week or so and if it doesn't settle then I'd approach the teacher again perhaps. It may be a case of simply moving where they sit.

Does your child get homework? If so try setting some time limits for sections of it, this may help focus and so help in class when there is a set time.

OrmIrian Thu 17-Sep-09 10:54:10

THanks allover - DD wants to move her table. But apparently 'everyone' wants to do that - move to a table on their own or with just one other pupil - so she doesn't think that will happen. We'll see. Mt experience of this teacher is that she is very good - DS#1 liked her a lot.

clutteredup Thu 17-Sep-09 11:04:51

I find its always good to have parents coming in and saying things like that as it shows that they too are aware of whats going on - as a teacher I would be dealing with it but if it continues to be an issue and the child is struggling then the next step would be to discuss it with the parent - this is sooooo much easier if the parent has flagged it up already, then you can begin the discussion, ' as you mentioned before mini OrmIrian has been finding maths a bit of a struggle...', I'd at least know you were onside with it and not worried you'd be defensive about her 'being just fine' like some parents can be.
So you absolutely did the right thing.smile

violetbloom Thu 17-Sep-09 11:55:53

I don't know if this is helpful or not but my dd is also on the 'top table' and was moved down a table for her numeracy work as she was finding it very difficult too. Since she moved down she's been much happier since the kids at the new table aren't nearly so competitive about their work. Anyway, she's come on in leaps and bounds since then, it's really done her good to have work at the right level. She still does reading and literacy at the top table and that's what she's good at so it's been a blessing really. Perhaps you could reassure your dd that moving a table can be a good thing?

OrmIrian Thu 17-Sep-09 12:00:42

Thanks both.

cluttered - glad to know that smile DD always keeps me abreast of what's going on thankfully.

violet - she could move down a table, no problem, in fact that is what she wants. But the actual sets are taught in different class rooms. It's a 60 pupil year group spread over 2 classes and they are divided up into 3 sets for lessons. She is afraid of being moved down a set rather than just a table.

TheApprentice Thu 17-Sep-09 12:13:36

I'm a teacher and think you've done the right thing. I'm always glad to hear of parents' concerns, as long as they are polite and don't come in ranting and raving! The teacher will probably be more sensitive to your dd's needs now - we can't always spot everything although you mention she said she had noticed herself. I wouldn't think you were being over protective at all.

violetbloom Thu 17-Sep-09 12:16:47

Oh, I see, there aren't any sets in dd's year. The two Y2 classes have 5 groups in each, ranging in ability, so it's not such a 'stigma' to be moved I suppose.

How do 'sets' work then? when there must be varying ability within each one of there are 20 children in each one.

Kelloggs36 Thu 24-Sep-09 08:01:00

The work is still differentiated to their needs - or they should be. The theory being that the range of differentiation is not as wide as with a mixed ability class. My class has a wide range, but the class next door has a huge range - making planning lessons extremely difficult (we are a tiny school so we don't have enough children to teach to a set).

labyrinthine Thu 24-Sep-09 11:01:56

How old is she?

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