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DS and DD in same private school or is that being lazy?

(12 Posts)
zimzam Wed 16-Sep-09 13:13:10

We're considering moving our dd from state to private at year 3 entry. ds is 2 years younger and due to join his sister in state primary next year. Two questions: Is it lazy to opt for a school (reputed to be good of course) that's co-ed and that goes from 7-18yrs or better to choose single sex preps and change to different seniors for diversity and wider social experience? And should ds go into private pre-prep to prepare for a place at age 7? Or is that just a bit too pushy?

dilemma456 Wed 16-Sep-09 13:41:26

Message withdrawn

moodlumthehoodlum Wed 16-Sep-09 13:43:49

DS has just started at Pre-Prep. DD, a yr older than him, is in yr 1 at local infants school. Horses for courses - both children are at the right school for them at the moment, things will change in the future.. But I would say, five days into the school run, that having to work with two different sets of information is so far, proving to be a challenge. But I am intrinsically lazy wink.

Hulababy Wed 16-Sep-09 13:45:29

I would go and visit all the options and see how you feel about them all. Chose the schools on their own merits and how they will suit each of your two children.

But no, it isn't lazy to prefer to have both children in the same place.

SomeGuy Wed 16-Sep-09 13:55:21

My son started in the pre-prep in Y1. The school is mostly boys but is co-ed. The girls get along fine, so doing two school runs seems odd (although a few parents do it).

Single sex schools are not necessary until you are a teenager.

As for private pre-prep versus state primary, I don't think the difference is as big as for prep versus primary. At the end of year 2 at pre-prep my son's class had generally done Oxford Reading Tree to Level 9 and times tables 2, 3, 5, and 10.

If the pre-prep and prep are different schools I wouldn't bother. But if they can go to the same school, the 5 year old in pre-prep and the 7 year old in year 3, that would seem a good solution, so the 5 year old is settle with his friends ready for year 3.

Also depends how much cash you've got as well I suppose.

GrimmaTheNome Wed 16-Sep-09 14:07:19

Around here, the private secondary schools all seem to have co-ed nursery/infants/junior departments anyway, whether the senior school is single or mixed. I'd definitely go for the co-ed for primary, much more practical and (IMO) at that age mixing is all to the good. Then you can reassess whether they stay there or not for secondary.

gladders Wed 16-Sep-09 14:07:30

lots of different choices!

having them both at same school will make daily life (and school holidays) much easier - if you like the school and are happy that they could stay until 18 then that's the one for them

if you are unsure then you need to check out the other options? personally i prefer co-ed but what will suit your children?

if they want to leave the 7-18 school at 11 - bear in mind you wil probably need coaching for external exams as the school won't prepare them (where prep schools would)

phew - best of luck!

LadyMuck Wed 16-Sep-09 14:22:55

I have 2 sons, one at a boys prep and the other at a co-ed private primary. The schools have different styles eg for the prep schools everything is competitive, sports, music, getting a part in the school play etc whereas the smaller co-ed is very inclusive. So anyone can join the choir, and everyone gets to be in a play, be on a sports team etc. One of my sons thrives in a competitive environment, the other one doesn't (small for his age, young in his year, not particularly sporty).

Academically the standards are different too. One school does timetables (all of them to 10) in Year 1, the other does them in Year 2. The target for reading in both schools was ORT 8 by the end of Year 1. That said children continue to come in from state schools and fit in quickly. I don't think that you can judge the preprep as better just because it is private.

My 2 school runs (well 1 slightly longer run) is a minor inconvenience knowing that each child is in an environment in which he will thrive. For me the main benefit of being able to pay is so that I can choose a school that is best suited to my child, and given that my children are quite different, it has turned out that different schools suit them.

I would be careful of relying on reputation alone. Make sure that you see the school at work (not an open day), and spend time with the head and see what they are like.

KaDeWeh Wed 16-Sep-09 15:31:02

Much to be said for having them at the same place - but possibly more to be said for choosing schools that suit the child. Mine are at different preps, which makes mornings tricky - but the schools suit their personalities/interests and so on.

I'd agree with Dilemma regarding pre-prep.

Personally, I'd prefer a mixed prep and single-sex senior school for mine. I'd be very reluctant to opt for mixed sex secondary school (I'd consider it for sixth form if a child was really keen - but would not be keen from 13-16). My DD's prep has just a few boys, and even there it's interesting to see that the girls play differently from how they play at DS's 50/50 mixed prep. At DD's school, they play tig and hide and seek and football and climb trees; in a mixed environment, they seem more to huddle together while the boys do boy things.

Above all, I'd visit all the options and get a feel for them and how they'd suit your Dcs. Good luck!

SomeGuy Wed 16-Sep-09 16:26:19

That does depend on the school I think. I've seen girls schools where they seem to be very stereotypically 'girly'. OTOH at my son's mainly boy's prep school, the girls have to make up the sports teams, etc. from short numbers, so they are pushed more than a girls school.

deste Wed 16-Sep-09 16:36:29

I put both mine to the same private school 5-18 years. There was no choice for my son as there was only one boys school but had a choice of three for my daughter. I worked but
did it because the school had a good reputation.

movingnow Wed 16-Sep-09 18:37:27

Cheaper if both at same school

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