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i think, actully a know ive done something stupid!

(4 Posts)
sparkle09 Wed 09-Sep-09 21:11:11

i grew up with my father in the forces, and i went to 6 primary schools.

i hated it so much that i didnt have friends that i grew up with so vowed that my children would go to the same triangle of schools and that i would never move him,

the thing ive done thats so stupid is that i spoke about this vow around him!

i feel so stupid cos i know you shouldnt really talk about this stuff around them but i was dead set on not changing my mind.

well i have changed my mind and want to move to a village outside the area and would be to far to keep taking him to the school hes at now, i feel my family really need a fresh start somewhere and have said to him about it (its only in idea stage at the moment so havent pushed it,)and hes totally against it and wants to stay with his friends,

i totally get how he feels, but if this move goes ahead how do it deal with ds and trying to pursude him that this is a really good idea?

daisydancer Wed 09-Sep-09 21:38:56

I had the same primary school experience as you did, about seven schools before I was nine. The one positive thing about changing schools is that you have a fresh start every time. No one knows about naughty things you might have done or work that you didn't finish etc! Maybe it's worth drip feeding the positives about fresh starts and new opportunities. It might help your DS to talk about it when you have more facts to share and you can then give reasons why the new home/school/friends will be at least as good as the old one. As we know, moving schools very frequently is extremely challenging (but not necessarily devestating) but moving school once or twice could be a really positive thing.
Good luck!

sparkle09 Wed 09-Sep-09 21:48:07

thank you, i can see it now, but when i had ds i was only 19 and felt bitter still about my bringing up,

im going to look at the new school without him first so i have some info on what they do and things.

then just take it from there,

daisydancer Wed 09-Sep-09 22:01:21

The great thing is that you will understand what your DS is going through better than anyone. Lucky him!

Maybe you could explain away the things you said to him about never changing school by telling him that you had such an extreme experience that you reacted too passionately against him ever moving school which you're sorry about. You could then explain that with hindsight you now understand that it wasn't the occasional move that was the problem but the constant moving and that never to move is just a likely to end in missed opportunities as moving too much.

You're so aware of the difficulties your father's situation put you in that you'll never put your own DS through it so don't worry!

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