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What can you do if your child simply finds the work too hard?

(20 Posts)
HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 20:24:34

Ds is 6 and really likes school, friends-wise at least. He went back on Monday and just now said to me he doesn't want to go tomorrow because he knows the work will be too difficult again.

He'stold me every night so far that he didn't manage to finish what they were meant to do, and couldn't get it done in time - nobody was cross about it, so far anyway, but he felt anxious and stressed about finishing his work, as you would.

Last year he was being kept in in playtimes to finish, and ended up with lowish grades, some at 'starting point' esp in literacy, ie what they would expect on yr1 entry rather than the end of yr1 I think?

He is improving with his writing and reading, for sure, but he is struggling. For instance they ahd to write three pages yesterday and he only managed - well less than two from what I could gather.
And the day before, they were told to take a book and go and read it quietly, and he told me he couldn't read it so just looked at the pictures while everyone else read theirs.

I don't want him to feel so stressed, I am helping him with his reading etc but not sure whether I ought to mention it to the teacher - or is this fairly normal?

primarymum Wed 09-Sep-09 20:28:48

I assume he's year 2? If he was expected to write three pages, then his teachers expectations are too much, some of my yr 2 's last year were expected to write three sentences-and I had a couple who couldn't cope with that! And if he couldn't read the book, then he has been given the wrong book!. Please go speak to the teacher, he needs help and not stress!

LucyJones Wed 09-Sep-09 20:30:13

as it's so early in the term hopefully the teacher will pick up on what ability all the children are soon enough

BonsoirAnna Wed 09-Sep-09 20:31:30

It sounds from your post as if your DS is struggling at the very tail end of performance of his peer group.

If that were my child, I would ask for a meeting with the head teacher and class teacher together to discuss remedial action in the short term, and close monitoring of progress over the next few months.

DameEdnaAverage Wed 09-Sep-09 20:32:14

3 pages! In year 2 in the first week? Are they a school who puts big pressure on the children?

I wouldn't worry too much, though. Hopefully this is just because the new teacher is assessing where they are at so that he/she can set work at the right level. If it's no better in a week then see if you can make an appointment.

I would guess there will be a parent's evening soon too?

It's awful that your child is worrying. There's really no need to put children under that sort of pressure in the first week and lovely that he is so conscientious that he cares about getting his work finished and doing well.

throckenholt Wed 09-Sep-09 20:33:41

he doesn't sound abnormal for a boy of that age. Mine was similar. I think once they crack reading everything else falls in to place. And you can't push it - it comes when it comes.

I would query keeping in a play times though -they really do need to run around and left off steam - especially boys.

spongebrainmaternitypants Wed 09-Sep-09 20:34:04

3 pages?!! Some of my Y6s couldn't have done that!

I think a quiet word with the class teacher is all that's needed at this point to give her the heads up that your DS is struggling and might need some more suitably differentiated work/more support.

No need to include HT at this point IMHO.

LynetteScavo Wed 09-Sep-09 20:37:35

I agree with all of the other posters.

If my child was kept in at play timefor not doing enough work I would be livid!

It sounds like he did jolly well to write 2 pages. My 6yo would only have managed two lines.

It's not normal that a child isn't given apropriate work. Do they have work groups?

Sparkletastic Wed 09-Sep-09 20:37:49

Have a chat with DS's teacher about what you can do to support at home and what they are doing to help DS at school. Plenty still struggle with reading at this age but now is the time to get it sorted. Don't leave it until parents' evening. No need to involve HT unless you aren't happy with class teacher. 3 pages doesn't sound right hmm

luckyJess Wed 09-Sep-09 20:37:57

I am having the same issue with my Ds who is also 6 and just gone into year two.

He reads well and is quite confident in his abilitity to read, but struggles with everything else. He finds handwriting partically hard and this really makes him work slow. He also struggles with maths.

I have told him to make sure he asks the teacher if he doesnt understand.

We normally have a parents evening this first half term, so i will mention it then. But also wouldnt hesitate to have a word before this if i see i think he is losing condidence in himself.

Its really hard, isnt it, especially if there friends are sailing through.

luckyJess Wed 09-Sep-09 20:41:45

their blush

Clary Wed 09-Sep-09 20:46:01

I agree it soudns like a lot of academic expectation of a yr 2 boy.

Also not happy about the playtime thing - if naughty, then maybe, but this is different.

Yes, talk to the teacher - and meanwhile reassure DS that doing his best is all he can be asked. Bless him being so worried.

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 20:46:33

thanks for all the replies, I didn't expect so many! smile

Teacher is lovely, sweet and nice as far as I can tell. i don't think he's been kept in yet in this class - that was last year with v strict yr1 teacher. I did make a bitof a fuss about it but she excused it by saying he'd been chatting.

Well he does chat if he can't do the work! But I took her word. I don't think it happened again after that meeting.

I'm not wholly certain (actually have no idea) what three pages actually emans. It might constitute about 3 sentences in big writing and a picture on top, for all I know.

Still he would struggle a lot with that.
He does try really hard and he worries if he can't do it. I hope she is just assessing, the book thing just made me sad for him, he feels I think as though the bus is going right past while he stands at the bus stop iyswim. It must be quite scary.

I'll see if I can catch her tomorrow as Idon't want it to go on like this for weeks.

Thanks again x

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 20:48:52

Btw we are on sparrows with ORT at the moment, he still finds them pretty difficult sad

Pip and the zoo, Jan and the anorak etc etc

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 20:53:21

Lynette, I remember you were on a thread back in March or so, when someone linekd to this

Looks like ds is now on start and middle of yr1 stage books

How is your ds doing now?

Hulababy Wed 09-Sep-09 20:54:39

3 sentences is way too much to expect Y2 to do in the first week. 3 sentences would be better at this point!

souvenir Wed 09-Sep-09 21:09:28

Message withdrawn

LynetteScavo Wed 09-Sep-09 21:12:58

Helena, my DS was on level 5 at the end of year one, but he's moved shools this year,adn hasn't bought a book home yet, so we'll have to see.

We didn't do any real writing over the summer, and the day before he went back to school I realised he had really forgotten mcuh of what he'd learned last year. blush
I feel like a really slack mum.

DS is aware that he's not as good at reading or writting as others in his class, but thankfully he doesn't seem to care too much.

thirtypence Wed 09-Sep-09 21:21:14

Ds is in year 2 and 3 pages would be an expectation - the book only has 3 lines per page though and they are really wide lines. On 3 pages ds can manage to get about this much

At the weekend I played. First I played with George. Next I played cars with Wendy. Last I went to bed.

Ds struggles far more with the constant pressure to produce full colour pictures with all the background coloured in.

I am surprised by some of these threads where the new teacher seems to have absolutely no idea what level a child is at and basically wastes the first two weeks or freaks the child/parent out completely.

It makes me appreciate the hard work that goes in at ds's schools behind the scenes to make sure that all the junior teachers spend time with each other's children so they get to know them before they have to teach them.

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 07:03:27

Thanks...Lynette sounds like he is doing just fine smile

I'm a bit concerned about the stage 3/4 he's at.

And finding tricky. sad

Our family friend teaches dyslexic children one to one, she's a specialist and liaises with schools so we have a promise she will assess him - she already has his books - but she's really busy so it may not happen before he is 7 and getting referred anyway, if he doesn't pick up by then.

I don't suppose anyone else's ds is on sparrows at this point? I may start a thread asking for a rough idea.

Thanks again for all the ideas, I've told him I'll have a word with her today.

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