4 year old DD struggling with school

[dazedandconfused]

DD is 4 (5 in Jan) and started school in mid August - we are in Scotland, so now into week 3 of her first term. She is only at school until lunchtime, but after being despertaely keen to go to school like ehr brother, she now says she hates it, and cries and hides every morning. She says I'm not listening to her when she is upset :-(
and that she wants to go back to nursery.

Any advice? They are due to go until 3pm from next week.

[dazedandconfused]

oops, should have said

[FlamingoBingo]

Can you research home education and do that for a year or so, or longer if it works out?

Forcing her to do something she's that upset about can only be counter-productive, and she's so young!

[beautifulgirls]

Have you spoken to the school about it all? They will be used to these sorts of situations and are the best people to help you out in all of this. If they know she is upset they may be able to do things for/with her at school to try and make her feel important and happy there and return back to the little girl who was excited about it all previously.

[Portofino]

It IS early days though I do feel for you. you should speak to the school to find some strategies/help. I DON'T agree that you should take her out because it upsets her.

[gingernutlover]

speak to her teacher

also speak to your dd - ask her exactly what it is thats upsetting her, and possibily explain to her that everyone ahs to go to school (or be HE'd but probbaly dont mention the option unless you want to go down that route)

when you have got to the bottom about what is upsetting her then you can begin to make headway and work with the school and your daughter to work things out.

It might be something as simple as she can't reach her coat peg properly or something someone has said to her at playtime. I had a child one year who was terrified of the colour of the toilet water after they had been cleaned - we just spoke to the cleaner who bought a different liquid.

[gingernutlover]

oh and I'd be 99% sure she isnt the only one in her class who is being like this. She's still so small and school is a massive massive change from nursery.

I am dreading my dd going next sept and she will be days off 5 when she starts - still terrifies me though.

How long did it take her to settle at the nursery? Does she find changes hard?

[dazedandconfused]

thanks for the advice - I have a meeting with the school tomorrow so will discuss with them then. I think part of the issue is that DS (6) was diagnosed with Asperger's not long ago, and although they play together a lot (and DD loves it), I feel DD has to make a lot of allowances for him, even though she is only 4. This constant pressure added to the newness of school ...

I asked DD specifically what was wrong and she said she doesn't like writing or jumping about in PE! She has also latched onto a little boy who seems quite like DS (ie calls the shots when playing). She was upset today because she was told off for copying him, doing something silly.

I remind myself that the alternative would be starting school a few months off 6 - and I think that would be a bit late for her.

just got through settling DS into school with major hassle and I thought DD would be quite happy. She had a great time at nursery; settled easily and was very happy.

[MissSunny]

Message withdrawn

[dazedandconfused]

No, I agree that it would be too soon to give up. It's reassuring to hear about your friend's DD, Miss S - altho hope it doesn't go on all term! I think you're right about the attention because DD always loved all the cuddles at nusery. The school has been v supportive with DS - they are a 'nurture' school, and have been v responsive, so hopefully a chat tomorrow will help.