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Severe Back to School Anxiety - Need a frame of reference. Bit Long...

(9 Posts)
quidnunc Wed 19-Aug-09 11:08:26

Can anyone relate to the level of anxiety my DS (7) is going through? It is his first day back today (at an international school).

Last year was difficult for him, in that he is one of those very fidgety types, interrupted sometimes, and so on. His teacher, although very well meaning managed to compound some of the problems by micro-mamging and introducing all manner of new rules fo him, and sending him out of class almost on a daily basis sometimes. He had good friends there and he's bright enough to easily compensate for 'not listening' and not really knowing what he should be getting on with.

So, last night he developed an ear-ache. He was starting to become worried about school. He couldn't sleep, he eventually came into our room at midnight crying. This morning he couldn't eat breakfast. Then he threw up. I was at work but spoke with him and thought I had reassured him somewhat; he sounded better, more confident, but still edgy.

I now find out he was sick again in school. His new teacher - who has a very good reputation - spoke with him. He explained that he didn't like last year and that he was worried because he had been told his new teacher is more strict. The nurse sent him home, where he is now.

Sorry about the rambling. But, can anyone else relate to this level of anxiety?

Thanks.

quidnunc Wed 19-Aug-09 11:09:06

not 'mamging', managing!

cocolepew Wed 19-Aug-09 11:11:32

My DD suffers from anxiety, I find giving her fish oils and flower remedies can help ease it to a slightly more managable degree..

moonmother Wed 19-Aug-09 11:23:33

I can relate to him quidnunc, but sadly don't think I can be much help.

I was mentally bullied by my ex best friend and a group of girls in my last year of senior school. It got so bad that I would have panic attacks and vomit if I actually went through the school gates. I kept it secret from everyone from as long as I could, I also skipped school an awful lot blush.

Eventually school got in touch with my DM and I eventually told them what was going on.

My Head of Year was great and I did part-time schooling, just enough lessons so I could still sit my GCSE's.

I did pass my exam's but I had been incredibly bright and was expected to get A's and B's in all subjects, which sadly I didn't get.

Sorry to waffle on, grin , but I always have regretted not speaking up and getting help sooner, as my exam results would have been better.

The anxiety was horrible and completley uncontrollable though. I found it very hard to cope with as a 15-16 year old, and I cannot begin to think how your Ds is dealing with it, at a young age.

My advice is to talk about it with your son, let him describe how it feels and whats worrying him. The next step then I guess would be the school, and help and support from them will be vital. Your Gp may be of use too.

I hope things get better for you and your Ds.

quidnunc Wed 19-Aug-09 11:27:27

DS is not ordinarily anxious. He is really very confident, certainly an extrovert. The last 24 hours have come as real surprise to me, and my expectation is that he his be fine in a day or so once he realises his fears are unfounded. I suppose I am just seeking some reassurance that there are some other example of this.

Very patchy information I am giving here. Not deliberate, but am doing about 5 things at once!

bodiddly Wed 19-Aug-09 11:32:06

I have no experience of this at all I am afraid but wondered whether they would consider him just going in for say his favourite lessons like art etc for a couple of days until he has got back in to the swing of things. Either that or perhaps his new class teacher might come to the house to see him so he can see that she/he isn't a dragon!

cocolepew Wed 19-Aug-09 11:32:11

It's very good that he is able to talk to you and the school about it. If he is normally very confident I'm sure it will pass. My DD is starting High School in 2 weeks and she is in pieces every day about it sad.

quidnunc Wed 19-Aug-09 11:35:02

Thanks for your comments, MM. I know I need to get the root of his fears. I will have a chat tonight.

We spoke with the school last year, because we felt some of his behaviour was anxienty-based. Their only response was to recommend a £500 per session Ed Psych, from whom they would take guidance about teaching methods, and make some provisions where possible based on the recommendations.

quidnunc Wed 19-Aug-09 11:39:13

coco - I too expect it will pass quite soon. He is a good communicator, but at 7 he still finds it difficult to express some feelings or thought becuase he is too young to rationalise them.

I think it was just a panic attack (?)

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