Hi there
I've had a bit of tricky situation for the last year and a half. Let me explain - my son (age 7 and three quarters) has been friends with a boy in his class since he started school at the age of 5. For the first year and a half our boys would go back and forth to each others houses to play and for tea. I was also very friendly with the mum - we shared birthday parties, went to the pub with a group of other mums and it was all great. I'm a very bubbly friendly and chatty person (especially after a glass of wine) and I put my foot in it a couple of times - totally unintentionally and not intending to offend this mum. I apologised to the mum and she said "Oh don't worry about it - you haven't got a bad bone in your body!" I was relieved as I had felt bad about it. However all the invitations to her son's house for tea stopped and this mother avoided me on the school runs for well over a year. It was very awkward as she's friends with the same couple of mums as me - so it was awkward joining their group in the playground as we waited for our kids to come out of school.
I felt really upset as I've done her lots of favours and feel quite used and also sad that she couldn't discuss things with me as I'd thought we were good friends.
Then recently - she has been slightly more friendly - not consistently - just now and again. However today at a school barbecue she was just very fake and surfacy as usual.
I think about the situation all the time and feel guilty that I've affected my son's friendship with her son due to (I can only assume) offending her by being a bit merry and putting my foot in it a couple of times. I've spoken to her about it though and feel that I shouldn't beat myself up about it. I just feel a bit left out now as she's so friendly with my other two friends and I just can't join them when she's there as I feel so irritated with her now and sad when I think back to what good friends we used to be.
My son's still good friends with her son which pulls us together into this awkward situation. I wish I could just leave her and move onto someone else but I keep having to see her every day. All I can think about is another 5 years of it as her son's moving onto the same school as hers.
This probably sounds really OTT but it has affected me and I still want to stay friends with the other 2 mums in our original group.
Has anyone been in or is in the same sort of situation.
I'd appreciate any thoughts on how you handled it or what you would do if you were me.
Thanks
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How to deal with mums you don't get on with if your child's best friends with theirs!
16 replies
getmeoutofhere · 12/07/2009 19:32
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