Ds is very anxious and worried since the school year ended last week

[NanaJo]

My Ds (5.10) is very anxious and worried since the school year ended last week. At our school the next year's assigned classes are not announced or given out until the first day of the term in September. The children are taken for two visits with both possible teachers/classrooms in June but will not know where they have been placed until school actually starts. My Ds is a shy, quiet, kind little boy who did very well academically last year and has a couple of good friends ... a girl who he has known since pre-school whom he adores and a boy who is moving to another city next month. The last day of school my Ds cried when he said goodbye to his teacher and off and on over the next few days. Every day since, he has asked whether I think his friend A will be in his class. He worries a lot about the moving friend and also about possible new class routines. I have tried to reassure him but he seems so sad, it is breaking my heart. I am hoping that our two week holiday (we leave next Wednesday and have a 5 1/2 flight which he very excited about) will help ease his spirits. Anyway, sorry about the long ramble but would appreciate any advice.

[janeite]

Have you mentioned this to the school?

Tbh I would not mention it at all during the holiday unless he raises it himself. If he does, I'd just keep being chirpy and reminding him of the other nice pupils in his year! It might be good to set up a few play-dates with a range of pupils, including the girl, if you could, before returning to school.

[NanaJo]

Janeite, the play-date idea with a few of his class-mates besides his especial friend, is a good one! I think I'll do that when we get back from our holiday. Thank you.

[Peridot30]

That sounds a bit bizarre. All our childen at school know who their teacher will be the last week of term before the summer holidays, it makes them feel relaxed about the new term and more confident since they know who their teacher will be.

THis year dd will move with only 5 other class mates into the year above. She is due to strt P2 and will now be in P2/P3. IM going to try and arrange for a couple of her friends to come and play during the holidays.

[NanaJo]

Peridot, I live in Canada (British Columbia) and our school system is quite different from yours. My Ds has just finished kindergarten (from what I can understand via this forum, you refer to it as Reception year there) and will be entering grade one. It is standard practice here not to know who the teacher will be until the first day of the new school year. (I must say that I prefer the sound of your system in this respect.) At our school the child must attend their new class for two weeks and then after that you can request a change but must have very good reasons for doing so.

[bigTillyMint]

I'm not surprised your young son feels unsettled - I bet lots of/all the children do - I know mine would in that situation.

Could you reassure him that you think he will be with his friend, and that if he's not and it makes him unhappy, then you will request a change of class? I know it's not quite the whole truth, but it might put his mind at rest till nearer the time and then you could talk again about what might happen.

[nooka]

Hi NanaJo, we also live in BC (but only moved here 7 months ago), and have found the no idea about classes thing really odd. I think it is because there is a lot of movement and schools genuinely don't know how many children they are going to have, so they decide how to arrange classes when they know who is there.

We were told it might be two weeks until it was all settled! We did get a note to let the school know if there were any particular issues about friends etc (we reminded them not to put dd and ds in the same class as they often have mixed year groups).

We also had the first day of term arrangement when we were in the States. Friends said this was to stop any lobbying by parents about teachers (not sure if this was paranoia though!), and all classes were mixed up every year.

[NanaJo]

Nooka, how lovely to connect with you via this forum ... and welcome to BC!

I am not sure how the system has evolved here but I think part of the reason could be to stop the lobbying by parents for certain teachers. In early May we received a letter from the school stating that 'we do our utmost best to keep each child's academic, emotional and psychological needs in mind when deciding on placement' and for parents not to request certain teachers etc. They did ask for feedback regarding friends and other possible issues but they emphasized that were no guarantees. Class lists are not finalized until the end of September. There are split/mixed level classes at every grade level here. I'm not sure if that is the case in the UK?

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful words and replies. Much appreciated.

[nooka]

Whereabouts are you in BC? I'm from Kamloops, and Jacksmama (around somewhere or other) is from Langley. I usually hang out in the US thread for out of UK time chatting:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/living_overseas/784636-Living-In-America-You-say-Goodbye-I-say-Hello?msgid=1612 0688

[NanaJo]

Nooka, I'm in Prince George. Thanks for the link!