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Y2 bad experience for my daughter, shall I change classroom for my son with same teacher

(8 Posts)
247mum Fri 10-Jul-09 12:23:39

My daughter in Y2 had a teacher who didn't care and had bad reputation. She has not progressed much, became quiet and lost confidence due to the lack of attention and teacher's encouragement. The teacher has also forgotten that she really wanted a proper part in the school play, and gave her one sentence part, which made her feel very inferior to the friends, who has part in two dances and speaking roles. (she has been involved in dance groups since 3 years old). Finall straw was, the result of 2C in maths. Teacher did not allarm me or nudge me, that this should be given attention, but just mentioned previously that she should work on maths more, but she will be fine. Now, the confidence and self - belief have been affected and I need to pay for private tuition. But this is not the problem. My son has just been allocated the same teacher!!!!
I am in shock, feeling hopeless. The school in very highly achieving school, massive waiting lists. Wouln't like to change school, neither rock the boat with the teacher, in case the place in the other classroom will not be available. What shall I do to save my son's confidence from the careless teacher?

cory Fri 10-Jul-09 12:43:19

Is this a wind-up? Your dd feels undermined because she did not get a starring part in the play though she wanted it? Are you saying that all children must have starring parts (that would be one long school play) or that your dd is so important that she must have one?

If the latter is the case, then I think you need to work on your dd's confidence. Most children never get starring parts; they learn to live with it and it makes them stronger and better able to cope with the disappointments of life.

(dh went to school with Hugh Grant. Funnily enough, dh never got a starring part either wink)

Can't remember how bad a 2C is in Yr 2 (suspect it's only just under government expectations, rather than a total disaster), but I would personally try to work with the school rather than engage a tutor. Be careful you don't give your dd the subconscious message that no failure is allowed.

cory Fri 10-Jul-09 12:48:11

And be careful you don't blame everything on the teacher. Do you know of your own knowledge that a 2c is not your dd's natural level? Do you know that she has been putting the work in, been concentrating in the classroom etc. It is easy to blame the teacher, but it can create problems in the long run. And why is it so important to you what grades she is getting when she is still little?

(we're a highly academic family, but ds really struggles at school through no fault of the school's).

Also, do you know for sure that your ds will not work well for this teacher just because your dd hasn't? IME different teachers work with different children. My friend was delighted with her ds1's teacher, but her ds2 couldn't get on with her at all. I was warned against my first teacher- reputation for being a tough cookie, but she was just right for me.

AMumInScotland Fri 10-Jul-09 13:12:37

Why do you need to pay for private tuition? Surely the school will deal with a range of abilities, and should be able to teach your daughter.

You seem to be placing your daughter under a lot of pressure to do well academicaly and in the school plays etc - perhaps you should focus more on making sure she enjoys things, rather than judging her on her achievements. That will have a far bigger impact on her self-confidence than spending a single year with a particular teacher.

If your daughter is not in fact high;y academic, and the school is, then you could also consider whether this is the right school environment for her - some children thrive on that sort of pressure, others crumble.

Your son may have a completely different temperament from your daughter, so there is no reason to think that he will react the same way to this teacher anyway.

sameagain Fri 10-Jul-09 13:26:27

I think your view of her "failure" is likely to be far more damaging to her confidence than the teacher giving her a small part in the play TBH.

hippipotamiHasLost44lbs Fri 10-Jul-09 13:33:52

Crumbs, your poor dd. I think as others have said, her sense of failure will come from the vibes you give off, not because of a bad teacher.
Fact is - only a few children can have a large part in teh school play.
Fact is - your dd's friend was given a dancing part because she has been doing dance classes since she was 3? If I understood properly?
Maybe she was just the better dancer. Why did your dd feel inferior? That was not the teacher's fault, perhaps your dd's friend made her feel inferiour or perhaps you let your disappointment show?
Fact is - a 2C is only marginally below average for Year 2. You do not need to get a private tutor. My ds only achieved level 1s at the end of Y2. School helped him throughout Years 3 and 4 and now at the end of Y5 he is achieving above average.

I think you need to relax and appreciate your dd for having the guts to say a line in the school play (after all not all Y2s will want to do that), and be proud of her for what she has achieved. And don't blame the teacher.

As for your ds - different children respond to different teachers so he may well thrive with this teacher.

lljkk Fri 10-Jul-09 13:39:55

OP: What are average maths results at the school for KS1 SATs? How many children did get parts with dancing or more than one line at the school play?

ingles2 Fri 10-Jul-09 13:41:21

I agree with everything other posters have said.... I also think it will be highly unlikely that the school will move your ds into another class because you don't like the teacher much. From what I gather it takes a lot of work to get the balance of children in each class right according to sex, ability, friendships etc so I think you should forget that and concentrate on building your dc's self esteem.

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