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shameless boast-ds has had his poem he wrote at school entered into a national competition. come tell me what you think of it! (he is dying to hear your opinions!)

(39 Posts)
belcantwait Tue 23-Jun-09 16:57:38

he is 10.

here goes:

Going to the beach

I went to the beach on a windy day
BUt the colour had died. the magic was grey.
The tide had paused, but the wind still blew.
Inside me the anger grew and grew.
Then, when i was fit to burst,
I had not seen the very worst.
The dark swept over and covered the sea.
The only person there was me.
Above my head, a monochrome sky.
I lowered my head, and started to cry.

smile [proud mummy emoticon]
what do you think??? he values the mn opinion!

ssd Tue 23-Jun-09 16:59:27

I think thats really good, well done to him! smile

belcantwait Tue 23-Jun-09 17:00:23

thank you. smile
of course now he's been entered he is CONVINCED he will walk away with the bloody prize!

ssd Tue 23-Jun-09 17:02:34

well he should!

good luck to him!


DrNortherner Tue 23-Jun-09 17:03:33

I think its amazing. well done to your ds!

PacificDogwood Tue 23-Jun-09 17:04:59

V v good. You are right to be proud, and so should he be.
Good luck with the competition.

classic62 Tue 23-Jun-09 19:11:29

I think it is brilliant too...well done young man!

treedelivery Tue 23-Jun-09 19:16:28

It's brilliant [although got a lump in my throat as emotional today]

He is very emotionally mature.

SolidGoldBrass Tue 23-Jun-09 19:16:55

Oh well done to your DS. I was dreading this being a thread about that farking vanity publishers who do the My First Poem 'competiton' but this is completely different. Good luck.

abouteve Tue 23-Jun-09 19:22:06

Good luck to your DS in the competition. He's talented.

daisydancer Tue 23-Jun-09 19:32:47

What a lovely poem.

Doobydoo Tue 23-Jun-09 19:33:59

How lovelysmile

hullygully Tue 23-Jun-09 19:35:21


nickytwotimes Tue 23-Jun-09 19:35:44

That is super.
Like solid, I was dreading it being one of those vanity comps, so I am glad it is not.
Fantastic poem.

piscesmoon Tue 23-Jun-09 19:36:35

Well done! (smile)

piscesmoon Tue 23-Jun-09 19:37:10

Sorry -I meant smile

TsarChasm Tue 23-Jun-09 19:39:21

Wow! First class poem - he deserves to win with it!

verygreenlawn Tue 23-Jun-09 19:50:19

How lovely that he is so creative. I'd be proud too.

FatGirlThin Tue 23-Jun-09 19:52:51

Brilliant! (and I'm a teacher so that really counts winkgrin)

Wittering Tue 23-Jun-09 19:53:19

That is a lovely poem, really good. Best of luck with the comp.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 23-Jun-09 19:56:15

Its an excellent poem but I hope you're not going to the seaside for your summer hols grin

'The magic was grey' - thats a really good line.

teafortwo Tue 23-Jun-09 19:57:36

Wow - The rhyming format makes it innocent and child like thus making the sad, dark and meaningful content even more powerful. It made me shiver.

What a wonderfully talented boy!

Metella Tue 23-Jun-09 19:59:09

It's excellent - I can assure you that my 10-year-old would have no idea that a word like monochrome exists!!

spongebrainmaternitypants Tue 23-Jun-09 19:59:13

Fantastic! grin

I'm a teacher too, and used to teach kids your DS' age - not many of them could have produced something that mature at aged 10.

Good luck in the competition smile.

Tortington Tue 23-Jun-09 20:04:55


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