Why do girls argue and when do they grow out of it?

[notyourservant]

I am sick of it and dd's only in year 2! I feel that somehow I am to blame.

Please tell me they grow out of it early in Y3!!

[juneybean]

They don't ..... lol

[Doodle2u]

How long have you been on Mumsnet? Have you not seen the odd argument amongest girls between the ages of 18 and 60 on here?

[hocuspontas]

Your joking! Year 3?? Their barely into their stride.

[hocuspontas]

They're obviously...

[hocuspontas]

Oh and you're Time for bed...

[notyourservant]

Then it's as I feared. Is there anything I can do to lessen the vitriol or is it pointless trying?

[QOD]

hahaha
(hysterical laughter there)
it gets to its worst in yr 3, yr 4 is pretty horrific but some girls grow out of it a bit, then gets better in yr5.
However, yr 6 they start to have periods and aparently will regress... great!
My dd is yr5 and its been so much better

[QOD]

hahaha
(hysterical laughter there)
it gets to its worst in yr 3, yr 4 is pretty horrific but some girls grow out of it a bit, then gets better in yr5.
However, yr 6 they start to have periods and aparently will regress... great!
My dd is yr5 and its been so much better

[brimfull]

they openly argue and bitch until about yr 10 then it's more covert

[notyourservant]

I just find it so embarrassing. I feel so lame saying 'be kind' all the time, it has no effect whatsoever. I try to think it's good that she's strong-minded, not a push-over etc, but it's hard to face the other mothers after yet another row.

[TubOfLardWithInferiorRange]

Agree it probably won't get better anytime soon-is your dd a first born or only by any chance? My dd is and went to school with all first born and only girls in her class. Fun times! OTOH it did abate in year 5 or 6 and then there were no older sibs about to be bad influences/purchase liquor, etc. in upper grades.

[zanzibarmum]

hocus - you are right.. not into their stride. I find I am just geting there

[amateurmum]

Where I work, Y5 is definitely the nightmare year for girls being unkind. The outright arguing may have calmed down a little but the bitching and teasing is a lot worse.

Some girls in nice friendship groups do mostly avoid it.

Also, agree with tuboflard that year groups have very different personalities. Our current Y6 girls have always been 'difficult' from the day they arrived in school - current Y4s generally lovely.

[zanzibarmum]

notyourservant - sureley we are to blame. When eight year old girls are pre-occupied with their nails, weight, where they shop and their favourtie brands where do they get this other than their mothers.

[Fimbo]

My dd is in year 6 and only has 9 girls in her class of 30. It's not much fun. Roll on High School in September.

[hmc]

We clearly have a freakishly wierd stepford school. Dd in year 2 with 6 other girls. No arguments - all deep lurve. Perhaps it works because its small numbers. I suspect we are lucky. Friend has a dd in year 3 where apparently there's tonnes of conflict.

Do think it could be a bit of a sexist generalisation however. Ds (only in Reception, bless) tells me that he doesn't like A because A calls him poo poo head (splutter) and the other day H (his best friend) said he didn't want to be friends anymore (sound familiar?). All is well now though - apparently.

[Hulababy]

The boys in my Y1 class (am TA) argue just as much, if not more, than the girls! They do more falling ot and nickering amongst the, and are real big tell-tales too. We really buck the gender stereotype in tghat class, lol.

TBH though DD is in a class of 14 girls, Y2, and they all play lovely together. It is very rare to have them falling out and bickering. DD can't be doing with any of that anyway, with any of her friends, wehther at school, swimming, Brownies or drama.

[WynkenBlynkenandNod]

I have found the same as QOD, things have improved in Year 5 after difficult years 3&4. Our lot changed schools this year though so have had a different lot of people to get used to and I think not knowing them well has helped the situation.

Am utterly depressed to read it gets worse again next year !

[terramum]

They never grow out of it imo. Always preferred the company of boys/men since I was at primary school. Virtually every female friend I've ever had has turned into a bitch . Never had a problem with the male friends.

[underpaidandoverworked]

Wait till year 10 - then the fun starts after they've discovered boys, alcohol, hanging out in the local field . Oh, and school isn't important cos they're gonna meet someone rich and never have to work - dream on dd .

I've 2 dd - no1 the perfect 'stepford' daughter, 18yrs never been in trouble or argued back. No2 a complete little minx at 15, stunning to look at and knows it, argues at least twice a day, coming back sometimes an hour later to have the last word... .

Nope, it doesn't get any better....

[madlentileater]

still waiting....eighteen years....

[WowOoo]

Um, never.

I've just learnt when to keep my mouth shut. I also find men a lot easier and less bitchy. Can't beat meeting up with friends and slagging off our poor men folk though for a giggle either!

Shame on me.

You are not in school with her. You're not to blame, it's natural. My Mum used to tell me off for arguing but I thank her for teaching me how to hold my own in a debate/tiff with humour or pizzazz!

[pointydog]

Girls and boys argue.

[LadyGlencoraPalliser]

Year 4 is the peak I find. Although Year 5 and 6 aren't great either. But then DD1 has only hit Year 7 so I don't know about Year * and up.

[Fennel]

Not all girls do this. I know plenty who don't bicker and bitch with their friends. My dds and their friends are generally pretty nice to their friends. I don't mean they are perfect, two of my dds can fight bitterly between themselves, but they don't do that bitchiness with other girls. One strops, one sulks, one wheedles and cries, but not the bitching.

I hate the assertion that girls and women are basically bitchy. Um, no, we're not. And nore are all men and boys open and honest and straightforward either.