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Change of school really getting to DD- any advice?

7 replies

karise · 21/06/2009 19:37

After lots of careful thought, DD is starting a new school in September (Year 3). DD loves the new school, says she thinks they will look after her there unlike her current school
The new school doesn't take year 2's so she can't start until September, but in the meantime DD is saying she hates school and doesn't want to go! Her friends are being unkind saying they hope something bad happens so she doesn't have to go, and her behaviour at home is getting worse and worse.
Anyone got any hints as to how to "sell" the idea of staying where she is? I know it's only 4 weeks but I hate to see her so stressed!

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hedgiemum · 21/06/2009 19:47

Is there actual bullying (from a teacher or child) at current school? It's hard to make a helpful suggestion without knowing why the current school isn't right for her.

If it is just that the school isn't the right fit for her for whatever reason, then I guess some kind of reward chart or system for good behaviour at home and a good attitude towards school? A treat/outing for the weekend if she gets a few stars each day, so that she has something to look forward to at the end of each school week.

But if there is something more serious going on at current school then you either need to be in there sorting it out (which may be hard when they know she's going to leave soon) or let her finish early.

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karise · 21/06/2009 19:52

There has been some bullying in the past, but as far as I know none recently!
It's more the attitude of the staff isn't right for her since a new head took over. Used to be an outstanding school, lord knows what ofsted would make of it now! General behaviour of all pupils has sunk...

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karise · 21/06/2009 20:15

It's the lack of routine in the last few weeks too! Little Miss routine freak hates it..

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poopscoop · 21/06/2009 20:24

Why don't you de-reg her from the school and start Home Ed for the final month if she is really unhappy there.

You can just enjoy your time together i.e. start your summer hols early.

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ICouldKillMyExThisMinute · 21/06/2009 20:33

It is a bit of a problem. DS was very happy about moving schools and was abit "smug" about it, which obviously could have "offended" some of the other kids.

I think that you may need to talk to her and tell her, that unfortunately, there is no option, she can go to the new school only after september but that she still have to go to this one for another month and make the best of it. Say that you understand that it is difficult but that you will be there for her during this difficult time... Would that help?

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karise · 21/06/2009 21:45

Already done that 'Icouldkill' and it doesn't seem to make much difference. I don't think she's being smug, just not understanding why her friends aren't happy for her. Her best friend said weeks ago "I hope you fail your test so you don't get in!". 7 year olds can be so cruel & DD tends to take it to heart.
Nice idea poopscoop, but unfortunately I have to work. I also think she needs 'closure' by seeing through the play, sports day & everything else that happens in the next few weeks. Might see if DH can have her for the odd week to give us all a break?
Just wish it wasn't all hurting her so much! It's obvious that she will love it once she's there.

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Mummy2Scarlet · 22/06/2009 18:25

Are her friends going to miss her? It sounds like that is why they are saying that they hope she fails her test - I don't think they would want her not to do well, just don't want to lose her.
Why not tell the school she has a 'dental appointment' every week until the end of school on a Thursday/Friday afternoon, so she doesn't have to do a full week. It's not much time off, but to her it will feel like a real treat, and might encourage her to go. You could make the afternoon 'you' time, so that she does something special, and really looks forward to it?

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