Bullying - what to do?(3 Posts)
What is your schools policy about bullying?
I am having problems with the local primary school and wanted to see what other schools do/offer children who are having problems in the playground etc, or maybe I could suggest to the headteacher as I would like to pop in and speak to a member of staff tomorrow if possible.
Ds' primary school takes a very tough line on bullying - even when it doesn't happen on school grounds. If it involves other kids from the school, then they take the view that if they don't dela withi it, it will escalte into the school anyway.
The depute head is the really tough one - but she has a fantastic way of getting the kids to admit to it and then getting them to agree to what they should be doing/not doing. She then usually gets all the kids involved (victims and pepetrators) in a room together, so that the vicitm can see the perpetrators being told in no uncertain terms what sort of behaviouor will be accpetable, and tell them how things will be in the future.
Ds has had a problem a couple of times - first a few years ago - ironically enough from one of his school "friends" - which was happening at the out of the school care (which isn't on school grounds). SHe dealt with it very well (the Out of School Club, even though they brought it to our attention, did nothing ) and when it started again recently (not as badly), she has kept an eye on it - although now that ds is a bit older, the sort of stuff that is happening, we wnat to teach ds to dela with.
However, more recently, ds (who is in P4 - eqivelant of Y3) was involved in an incident outside school where he was punched, kicked, pushed to the ground and then into the road (which is relatively busy) by three boys: one in the year below him and 2 other boys from other schools, who we found out later were 9 and 10. Ds was with a slightly older firned (ds is 8, friend is 9) and they were walking back to our house from the friend's house (about a 5-10 minute walk and one that we have started to let him do on his own as part of building his independence) - but the kids ignored his friend and focussed on ds.
As you can imagine, afterwards, ds ran home very distressed - and dh and his friend went off to try and find these kids (unsuccessfully) while I cleaned up ds. Dh was a wee bit upset at ds' friend in that he didn't come to ds' aid - but as I said to him, that might only have escalated things and at least he didn't run away.
The following morning dh went down to the school to talk to the head or depute, as he was concerned that ds' friends might take it upon themselves to mete out some justice. The depute picked it up straight away and to cut a long sotry short, dh ended up spending the whole morning in the school, as the police were called in as there had apparently been knives involved. The P3 boy (who is no angel, we are told) had been threated that if he didn't join in what was a random attack, he would be knived - and they were carrying a stanley knife and a kitchen knife.
The depute brooks no nonsense. Whe dh told her waht heppened, she sent him off into the staff room (he is well known at the school as he used to be chair of the PTA/Parent Council) while she called the P3 boy to her office. She asked him, "[ds' name]'s dad is here - do you knwo why he might be down here?" at which the child unburdened himself.
Later - after the plice statement et al - she had the two boys in the room, where she got the P3 boy to apologise to ds - and this kid apparently "doesn't do remorse" - so his apology was genuine.
BTW - this was the first time the school had ever had to deal with anytihng to do with knives. Even though it is predominantly poor and ethncially mixed area (with a few "posh" bits mixed in), tihs is not something any of us had ever come across - certainly not at Primary school age.
Sorry for the long story - but essentially, the school needs to deal with any hint of bullying hard and early. They won't neceaarily tell the parents of the other kids involved - but they do need to be confident that the the behavoviour that they do want to see happens and that they nip it in the bud.
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