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reluctance to allow reception child to go on school trip

(58 Posts)
earlycomputers Mon 15-Jun-09 11:56:38

Just need to see what others think - my dd is just 5yrs and the whole ks1/foundation/reception kids in her school are going away for the day (9 till 4.30) to a wildlife park by coach. I am not that happy about her going as there will be 150 kids (yes I know they will have parent helpers there) but just feel she is too young to go, thinking that if there are any problems, she wouldn't be able to deal with them adequately at her age. The park is about an hours drive away. I think I will feel happier about such school trips when she is older like 8 or 9yrs, but not at 4 or 5yrs old. I would of course like to go as a parent helper (and so would my dd) but cannot unfortunately as I am not allowed to bring my youngest dd who is 3yrs. Has anyone else felt like this or am I being too over-worried/over protective? thanks

Hassled Mon 15-Jun-09 12:02:40

I think you might be being a bit PFB . She will have a fantastic time - they have very strict adult/child ratios on these trips and are unbelievably organised in my experience - head counts and name checks throughout the day, staff with First Aid equipment and sick buckets, contact details for parents, details of health issues, and your DD will be in a smallish group with a named adult. The trips I've helped on have been organised with military precision - it really won't be 150 kids running wild.

Ask about the adult/child ratio and how the day is planned - the more information you have, the happier you'll feel.

weegiemum Mon 15-Jun-09 12:03:23

Too over protective I think, tbh.

My dd2 is away at a safari park right now (I would have gone but I am too busy mumsnetting marking exams).

They have gone about 45 mins away by coach - on top of the half an hour bus journey to school that all my children do every day). She is SOOO excited - has a 'special' packed lunch with a fruitshoot and everything! Took a new book to "look at" (she can't really read) on the coach to show to her friends.

There is an agreed ratio of helpers - you need LOTS of adults for a group that size.

My 7yo ds has his trip tomorrow and dd1 is also away all day today (she's 9).

PavlovtheCat Mon 15-Jun-09 12:06:11

I agree with the other posters I am afraid. She will have a ball. Or, she should have a ball.

Wilts Mon 15-Jun-09 12:09:48

Ds2 (6) is off on his school trip to a Wildlife park this week.

I was a volunteer on the same trip a few years back with Ds2. It was extremely well organised, there were not any problems that I could see.

Although we were given a small group of children, we were not taking them off alone, they remained as a class. It was just an easier way for the teacher to manage as she only had to check each adult had their children, rather than count all 30 plus each time.

I am sure your dd will have a lovely time.

blametheparents Mon 15-Jun-09 12:10:36

There is no way you will be able to hold out until 8 or 9 years old smile

DS had been on an overnight Beaver camp by the age of 7, and he was absolutely fine and had a fantastic time.

She will have a great time, and may not be too happy to be left behind as if DS's school is anything to go by, she may well be the only one.

ABetaDad Mon 15-Jun-09 12:12:58

earlycomputers - DD will have a lovely time and will feel left out if you do not let her go and then the other children come back and tell her all about it.

I once went as a parent helper on a school trip with DS2 in Reception and it was one of the nicest days I have ever spent with children. They all had a fabulous time.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Mon 15-Jun-09 12:14:55

I have been a parent helper on many of these trips. It is normal for schools to allocate each adult a group of four or so children to be their special charge. Your DD will not be in an anonymous mass of 150 children at all, but in the care of a specific adult. What problems do you envisage that your DD might not be able to deal with, given the help of this adult?
Honestly, you are being very over-protective and it would be a shame for your DD to miss out on a fantastic day out because of it.

Stayingsunnygirl Mon 15-Jun-09 12:15:12

It is really scary letting your child do something like this for the first time, but it is part of the process of them growing up and you meeting the challenges of each new stage.

FWIW, I think it's not only a good thing for your dd to let her go on this trip, but it will be good for you too - because you will see that she'll cope well and have a great time, and also that you'll cope fine too.

There will be a lot of similar occasions in the future - first time she crosses a road on her own, or walks to a friend's house or school on her own, or goes into town with her friends alone - and yes, we do worry with each new step forward - that's part of our job as mothers, but it's also part of our job to let them make these steps.

ShannaraTiger Mon 15-Jun-09 12:16:21

I understand you feeling worried, but I'm sure she'll be fine. Like has already been said their will be 1 helper for a small number of children, I think she will be very upset with you if you don't let her go.

ChazsBarmyArmy Mon 15-Jun-09 12:17:06

When DS1 was in nursery (State) they used to go off on day trips to farms, the acquarium etc. They had a great time. DS1 is a late Aug birthday and was under 4 at the time.

I take my hat off to those who organise these trips. Each child was nametagged and allocated to an adult.

Just be prepared for a v tired but possibly overexcited child in the evening who will also be absolutely starving so have a snack ready when you collect them.

YeahBut Mon 15-Jun-09 12:17:14

Let her go. She'll have a great time.

Stayingsunnygirl Mon 15-Jun-09 12:17:48

One more thing - you will almost certainly find that you are more relaxed second time around, and that your second dc will get to do things earlier than your dd did. Ds3 has got cross from time to time because he doesn't get to do the things that his older brothers are allowed to do (he's 12, they are 14 and nearly 16), but doesn't realise how much earlier he's getting to do things than ds1 did.

Either I am a more relaxed parent now, or a more neglectful one. blushgrin

weegiemum Mon 15-Jun-09 12:21:48

Coming back to this - she wouldn't just be left out on the day, but in the run up etc as my dd2 has been doing things about animals etc for about 2 weeks in school, in preparation for what they are going to see today. She has had homework to find out about where an animal lives etc (I now know a LOT more about sealions!)

willali Mon 15-Jun-09 12:35:01

Ask to see the school's Health and Safety Risk Assessment document for this trip. If you can be bothered to wade through the 29 pages of close type (only a slight exaggeration) you will see that evry possible outcome (including possible abduction by aliens wink)is considered and a plan made to avert it.

You cannot possibly avoid your child going on trips until they are 8 years old - you are being over protective I'm araid and there is a risk your anxiety will rub off on your child and turn what should be a fun trip into something less enjoyable for everyone. I hope the trip goes well smile

missmem Mon 15-Jun-09 12:35:50

Growing up in a rural location our school trips were often 2 hours + travelling time each way from reception. We all had a ball and it's no different to being in school for the same length of time each day. As a child we weren't stressed but you need to be careful not to project your fears onto DC.

breeminor Mon 15-Jun-09 13:33:04

Just to add to the other posts. My DS in reception went on a trip to the local wildlife park on Friday for the day. He was up at 6am and the children had been talking about it all week. I am sure your DD will be well looked after and will be in good hands.

crokky Mon 15-Jun-09 13:39:31

I think that you need to let her go. It would be horrible for her if all her classmates went and they talked about it etc and your DD couldn't go.

My DS is at a school nursery and they are going on a train trip. He is 3.3 yo and he possibly has a condition on the edge of the autistic spectrum. I am absoutely crapping myself about him going (safety) so I did volunteer as a parent helper and I am leaving my 1yo with my mum. Could you possibly leave your 3yo with anyone and be a parent helper? Either way, the best thing to do for her is to let her go on the trip. I can totally understand your worries and I am prone to them myself - you mustn't let them impact your child's enjoyment.

paisleyleaf Mon 15-Jun-09 13:44:10

Any chance you can get yourself onto the trip as a helper?
Might help you feel happier, and from what other posters who have helped are saying, seeing how well organised it all is might reassure you for future trips too.

Ivykaty44 Mon 15-Jun-09 13:50:02

If you don't want your dd to go on any school trip for whatever reason - then tell the school that your dd will not be going and have a lovely day at home with her. It is really that simple.

As for safety of the dc they are mpst probably safer with the teachers and helpers than if she was out with you. The teachers have to do a health and safety essay of every possible thing that they can think off that may possibly go wrong and I know that I dont do that when I take my dd out for the day wink

bruffin Mon 15-Jun-09 13:54:39

I would warn you though,if you go as a parent helper you might not be given your daughter to look after. I have helped out and sometimes I have my dc's and sometimes I haven't.
As others have said learning how to let go is part of being a parent.

Anonniemouse Mon 15-Jun-09 13:55:53

My DD (5) went on her reception trip somewhere similar and had a really fantastic time. This was despite her best friend throwing up all over her at lunchtime and DD having to wear boys trousers for the afternoon as they'd only taken a boys pair and a girls pair and both were needed ! (chance in a million, I promise this won't happen)

They were in groups of 3 children to one teacher/parent helper. All the children had a fantastic time and I'm really glad she had the opportunity to go.

As others say, the school will have done this so many times that they are super organised. It hadn't occurred to me that some of other parents were worried about their children going (a lot of children are the first born in DD's class) but apparently they were. I think after they had gone they were all glad they had let the children go as they all enjoyed it so much and spent time doing stuff in the class room about it.

OrmIrian Mon 15-Jun-09 13:58:43

Let her go. She will love it. You, however may fret the entire day, but that's one of the prices you pay for having DC grin

I worried about my DD when she went to London on Friday with all of KS2 - and she's 10! So I do understand. But I worried in silence.

BetsyBoop Mon 15-Jun-09 14:41:08

I can sympathise with how you feel.

DD went on a trip to the beach with preschool aged nearly 3 & I was bricking it.

The past 2 times we had gone to the beach as a family as soon as her feet hit the sand she legged it as fast as she could as far as she could, thinking it a great game with Daddy running after her (I had 6month old DS in a sling at the time, so couldn't run)

I was frankly terrified she would do the same on the trip & pre-warned the staff. You could see them thinking "another PFB..." as they reassured me she would be fine.

Well DD behaved impeccably and had a whale of the time. It was totally worth me sitting worrying at home to see her excitedly tell me all about it when she got back.

It's hard to let go, but as others have said you just have to steel yourself to do it, it's hard but just another step in their growing up

snice Mon 15-Jun-09 14:45:52

I can only agree with the others here.

I was a helper on a reception school trip last week and the amount of care and planning that went in to the day was incredible.

The children were all in groups of 4 children to one adult for the whole day and I spent the whole time counting my four! They took in in turns for two of them to hold my hands when we were on the move with the other pair holding hands and walking ahead of me.

If you had seen the care taken I assure you that you would be happy.

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