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Issues with member of staff at ds's school :-(

(15 Posts)
NotaNiceTA Sun 07-Jun-09 20:08:21

I've namechanged for this.

Ds is starting reception in Sept. An ex friend of mine works in the school as a TA. My concern about this is that whilst I was friends with the woman, she told me a lot of things about happenings at school (to do with children she worked with) that I'm sure she shouldn't have. An example of this would be telling me about a child wetting themselves.

She is very precious about her own children and snotty about almost all others.

As we no longer speak, it bothers me that ds will now be in her class and will probably be getting bitched about by this woman to her friends whenever he does something which doesn't meet her standards.

I don't know whether I should voice my concerns to the school or not. I have someone coming to do a home visit next week (they do this to meet all new reception children), do you think I should mention it?

bigchris Sun 07-Jun-09 20:10:08

oh no , definitely don't mention it imo

minxthemanx Sun 07-Jun-09 20:12:39

Tricky one, not a nice situation for you. The TA shouldn't really be discussing children outside of school by name, not very professional. I think I would mention it to the teacher that does the home visit - it's a wider issue of confidentiality, really. Could you do that without naming the TA? Or will it be very obvious, if there's only one in the class?

NotaNiceTA Sun 07-Jun-09 20:14:46

There's only one in the class and I wouldn't really like to imlicate any of the other 2 TA's as they're very nice and afaik very professional.

NotaNiceTA Sun 07-Jun-09 20:15:11


NotaNiceTA Sun 07-Jun-09 21:09:39

Should I just ask about their confidentiality policy then?

smee Sun 07-Jun-09 21:35:31

Was she telling you about children you knew? If so that's bad, but if it was more general so just her as a friend letting off steam about things she faces at work, well that's a bit different.

cazzybabs Sun 07-Jun-09 21:43:18

I am a teacher and I am always talking about my class outside school..
and I sure dds teachers/Tas do the same....

I don't mention confidential issues/child protection - but a child wetting themselves is none of these.

I would leave it ... what you don't know about wont hurt you.

Littlefish Sun 07-Jun-09 22:32:25

I agree with cazzybabs.

MamaMuesli Sun 07-Jun-09 22:40:39

let it go

ICANDOTHAT Tue 09-Jun-09 07:29:29

Many teachers like a gossip just like the rest of us. We need to stop this impression that they are some kind of super discrete profession that would never discuss confidential issues outside school .... and no matter what their confidentiality policy may be, some will still behave inappropately.

I used to help out at my sons school as a volunteer and the information I was privvy to shocked and upset me. There was absolutely no reason for anyone to tell me any of it. I left eventually as I no longer wanted to be part of it and as I knew many of the other children and parents on a social level, felt I could no longer be a part of what I considered was a 'village hall' mentality. I would say nothing as 'nothing' would be done.

Also agree with cazzybabs - what you don't know won't hurt you ... sad but true sad

JLo2 Tue 09-Jun-09 12:31:17

I'm afraid I'm going to go against the grain here, as I definitely think you should say something. I think your idea of asking about confidentiality policy may be a good way in.

I agree that teachers/TA's discuss children amongst themselves within school and you can't stop that, in fact you shouldn't try to as lots of problems can be solved that way. However, in my opinion what goes on in school, or is discussed in school stays in school and should definitely not be discussed outside. I am completely shocked by the suggestion that it is seen as okay that confidential issues can be discussed outside.

I am a teacher (and have been for 18 years)and am always on the interviewing panel for any new TA's. This is always an area we discuss with prospective candidates at interview, particularly as it is often parents who apply for the jobs. I am also a parent volunteer in my DC's school and it was one of the things that was discussed with a group of us there too.

cazzybabs Tue 09-Jun-09 12:53:48

discussing confidential stuff is NOT on, but a child wetting themselves is not confidential. And we don't know how it came up...maybe the TA moaning they had to change the child

katiestar Tue 09-Jun-09 13:45:47

I had this problem at my DCs school.One of the other parents became a TA and 'talked' a lot about school.Teachers and TAs should not discuss anything about children outside school.Certainly not children wetting themselves !

NotaNiceTA Tue 09-Jun-09 21:50:59

In answer to your questions, the TA wasn't just talking in general about people in her school- it was always in a gossipy way about children who she knew were known to me.

The child who wet herself is my neighbour and the TA went on to say how she thinks it's because she doesn't get enough attention at home, is a very needy child etc.

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