how do I handle this? (sorry, a bit long)(8 Posts)
For a while now, ds1 (aged 6, in yr 1) has been having trouble with a boy in his class - the boy has been doing things like pushing ds1 out of the line waiting to go into class, punching him in the stomach, pushing him off the balance beam in the playground, splashing him with water from the toilets, taking ds1's glasses and hiding them, taking ds1's hat off and throwing it in a puddle.
After the most recent incident today (boy took ds1's glasses yet again and hid them), ds1 and the boy were both told to try and stay away from each other.
I have raised my concerns with ds1's teacher many, many times and each time am told that they are aware of the situation and are dealing with it. She has never once approached me to tell me of the problems ds1 is having, but when I ask her, always confirms that ds1 has told me the truth and hasn't exaggerated. She once said that the other boy was having a "particularly bad day" and that he and ds1 just don't get on (she made me feel that it was partly ds1's fault for the way he reacts to this boy's behaviour). From what ds1 tells me, the usual punishment is for the boy to miss 5 minutes of play or to go and see the head - these "punishments" obviously aren't proving much of a deterrent.
so what do I do know? Do I speak to the teacher more forcefully? Do I go and talk to the boy's mum? or the head?
I feel that I'm letting ds1 down
Can you make an appointment with the class teacher and the head? Hopefully you can come up with a plan of action between you...
Go to the head. You have already tried the class teacher without success, so it's time to go higher. She may be taking the "it's nearly the end of year, they won't be my problem next year" approach which I have seen happen a lot (apologies to all those mumsnet teachers who wouldn't dream of doing that of course!). Ask for a copy of the schoo's anti-bullying policy and discuss how this can be implemented in relation to your son and this child. It might also be a good time to ask that they are not in the same class next year if possible.
If your DS is still being picked on (is he the only one?) then whatever they are doing to 'deal with it' is not enough! I think the school definitely need to be a bit firmer with this other boy. He's only 6, how hard can it be? If it isn't put a stop to now, he is only going to get worse as he gets older, I would have thought.
I agree that sunnydelight's suggestion should be your next step!
Why not see the class teacher again, be firm and say you thought about speaking to the Head, as it's bullying and is putting your son off school. That'd make her do something surely, as no teacher wants it to go over their head..
thanks for all the replies - I guess I knew what I needed to do, but needed to be told that my instinct was right. I am really bad at over-thinking situations and trying to second-guess other people's reactions and usually end up doing nothing for fear of upsetting someone.
Sunnydelight - what you wrote was particularly clear and helpful. I have an appointment to see head tomorrow afternoon - I'll let you know how I get on!
Monkeybear your child (like mine) presumably wears glasses because, without them, he has a sight disability. By failing to stop another child removing and hiding those glasses, ie targeting your child's vulnerability, then the school is failing in it's responsibilities towards your child and trivialising his sight problems and need for glasses.
Good luck for this afternoon MonkeyBear. Fingers crossed the Head's response is what you need.
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